Immaturity: Question for Women Only

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I think about maturity matter often. And, yes, I do feel I have matured overnight with finding out that we were expecting.

you don't mature overnight. just saying...

Of course, not literally overnight.

[Anonymous]

No. There are mature men and mature women. There are immature men and immature women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think the younger generation of women are more immature in some ways than they use to be.

I know plenty of women who spend money like crazy whilst the men are saving and buying property. In some cases I am watching women in their 30's have their daddy as they call them pay for their car expenses. If they buy property their parents are helping them. I see more men buying property and helping their families financially.

I know plenty of women upset they didn't get as many likes on social media or you didn't respond to one of their posts.

I have seen women go out for a girls night and talk about how many men hit on them and they are married.

I see far more women drive whilst on their mobile phones. They simply can't get off their phones.

I see many mature men and women however I see far more immature women now than in the past.

x a million

You people are hanging around with the wrong women.

And all the people I saw driving while talking on their phones today were...men.

But I've seen plenty of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think men are more immature than women of the same age more often than not?

I think maturity is a very individual thing, and this pertains to both genders.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the person and their life experience. When I was in my 20s I was not interested in dating anyone more than a few years older. I just assumed it wouldn’t work. Over the years, I’ve had friends who dated and married men 10+ years older. And in a lot of ways they seem happy. They are treated very well and their husbands are considerate. I imagine, though, it took some of these men years to become who they are. Some were married once before and probably learned a thing or two from their failed marriages. My husband and I are the same age and I often find myself hoping that he will get better with age (there is a very apparent maturity issue). Perhaps done divorces are the result of some women just not having the patience to wait for someone to mature in 20 years.

[Anonymous]

I think of course not everyone fits this but generally women are a few years ahead of men. I think this is basically all to do with childbearing.

Women have to be ready for children by 30 or so. I mean maybe not ready to have them but you need to be focused on creating a stable life by them if you want an easy and reliable chance to have kids. Biology forces this reality. Men don't have this so there's less of a deadline to meet.

There's no way to really account for how different this is as you grow up. Women know they have to get a lot done by a certain time, especially if they also want a career etc.. Men don't, and both sexes grow up knowing this even if they aren't always thinking about it.

I think this is why it evens out after 35 or so. Most men have gotten married and pulled up to speed by a woman who knows they can't wait around forever. Once the guy has a mortgage and kids he's on the same track.

This really isn't a criticism of men, more like envy. They have a lot more freedom and less stress in their 20s and 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think of course not everyone fits this but generally women are a few years ahead of men. I think this is basically all to do with childbearing.

Women have to be ready for children by 30 or so. I mean maybe not ready to have them but you need to be focused on creating a stable life by them if you want an easy and reliable chance to have kids. Biology forces this reality. Men don't have this so there's less of a deadline to meet.

There's no way to really account for how different this is as you grow up. Women know they have to get a lot done by a certain time, especially if they also want a career etc.. Men don't, and both sexes grow up knowing this even if they aren't always thinking about it.

I think this is why it evens out after 35 or so. Most men have gotten married and pulled up to speed by a woman who knows they can't wait around forever. Once the guy has a mortgage and kids he's on the same track.

This really isn't a criticism of men, more like envy. They have a lot more freedom and less stress in their 20s and 30s.

I don't know, maybe this was it for women in the past. Nowadays for younger women it's about spray tans, duck lips, tattoo's, insta photo's.

In fact I see a few men now taking on the brunt of childcare while the wife who is the breadwinner is out drinking a few nights a week. I see a lot of men at work taking on a majority of the childcare duties and working full time. I'm not saying it is the norm, there are a ton of mature women but I don't think they are as mature as they use to be and that's probably because they use to be managing the family whereas now it may not be the case.

For instance 19 year old niece just announced she is getting married. She and her fiance are not employed but she is going to start having babies straight away. She wants five. She spends all her money on clothes, make-up, nails and spray tans. 22 year nephew has bought a house and is doing well in his chosen career. I'm not saying this is all women, I'm just saying it is more common for women to be just as immature as what the men use to be labelled.

[Anonymous]

Some of it is just clucking in disapproval at things guys like to do. A woman having wine at book club = mature. A man having beers watching the football game = immature. Neither is inherently more "mature" than the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is, a few years older than me actually, yet, I’m at the point of intolerance of his immaturity. He refuses life coaches or couples therapy or the like. Now, his immature ways are interfering with raising our son. E.g. I asked my son this evening: what did you do at school today? Dh responds right away: nothing!
in a cheerful manner as if it’s a fun joke. I don't get it. Resentment increasing...

This is your husband’s personality. Being an unpaid comedian doesn’t make him immature. It sounds like you two have a different sense of humor. You want him to be more serious. He wants you to lighten up and roll with the punchlines.

[Anonymous]

I personally think women mature at a faster rate, because of the emotional intelligence society encourages in us, where it is downplayed in men. Men don’t get this pressure (or reward) to emotionally mature until they settle down and connect with a serious romance. That’s just my opinion, and I’m not married to it.

I do think it evens out with age. And I think there are just as many immature/mature men as there are women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of it is just clucking in disapproval at things guys like to do. A woman having wine at book club = mature. A man having beers watching the football game = immature. Neither is inherently more "mature" than the other.

I think this can be true, and based on OP's example of a joke at dinner causing resentment she might fall into this camp.

I do think that for the average 20-something, women tend to be more mature than men, but not to a degree that really matters in the long run. This is one of the main reasons I am glad I didn't get married until my 30s.

[Anonymous]

Where I’ve seen most immaturity is among those guys who were true frat boys in college and for five or so years afterwards lived the same lifestyle. They hit their late 20’s and then decide to grow up by which point females their age have long moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I’ve seen most immaturity is among those guys who were true frat boys in college and for five or so years afterwards lived the same lifestyle. They hit their late 20’s and then decide to grow up by which point females their age have long moved on.

I solved this by marrying a woman 5 years younger than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I’ve seen most immaturity is among those guys who were true frat boys in college and for five or so years afterwards lived the same lifestyle. They hit their late 20’s and then decide to grow up by which point females their age have long moved on.

I solved this by marrying a woman 5 years younger than me.

Do you realize your comment literally illustrates PP’s point?

[Anonymous]

Yup.

I have boy/girl twins - seeing how different they are emotionally and develpmentally has mad me kinder to my husband. Men and women really are fundamentally different.