Sharing a vacation home with another family - question about choosing rooms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. This makes me feel better as I do want to vacation again with this family but was so taken aback by the other family already unpacked. They said we could change it if we wanted but that felt like an empty offer since the kids were excited about “their” rooms.

Seriously, we stopped for 20 minutes to pick up some groceries and when we got there, it was a done deal.

We didn’t know the house set up (knew the rooms but they are on three floors so didn’t know location of each room and we both have small kids).

Personally, I would have preferred waiting and allocating, even if the end result was the same. Just feels a little more friendly to do it that way.

+1

I'm with you OP. Maybe the "planner" picks first, but other than that (for example) couples should ABSOLUTELY have at least a double bed that is usable -- ie not the living room, where everyone walks through at all hours; and absolutely NOT the dirty diaper smelling bunk beds that are not fit for anyone to use. You'd be shocked at how some of these houses are oriented. GROSS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. This makes me feel better as I do want to vacation again with this family but was so taken aback by the other family already unpacked. They said we could change it if we wanted but that felt like an empty offer since the kids were excited about “their” rooms.

Seriously, we stopped for 20 minutes to pick up some groceries and when we got there, it was a done deal.

We didn’t know the house set up (knew the rooms but they are on three floors so didn’t know location of each room and we both have small kids).

Personally, I would have preferred waiting and allocating, even if the end result was the same. Just feels a little more friendly to do it that way.

+1

I'm with you OP. Maybe the "planner" picks first, but other than that (for example) couples should ABSOLUTELY have at least a double bed that is usable -- ie not the living room, where everyone walks through at all hours; and absolutely NOT the dirty diaper smelling bunk beds that are not fit for anyone to use. You'd be shocked at how some of these houses are oriented. GROSS.

To add, I have seen where two teens share a queen/king, or one person gets a king, instead of appropriating according to how many people. Rude.

[Anonymous]

After getting burned on this, I now always clarify the setup before committing to sharing a house. Most listings have ample photos so no reason not to hash this out before choosing a place and paying the deposit.

I don't expect the master suite if I'm not the one booking, but DH and I do want at least a queen bed in a room with a door that closes and our own bathroom.

Once shared a house with 2 other couples and was the last to arrive. The couple who booked and paid the deposit claimed the master with king bed, private balcony, and en suite bath (fine), the other couple claimed the queen bedroom with its own bathroom, and DH and I were stuck in a windowless "bedroom" with two twin beds and a bathroom down the hall.

[Anonymous]

Zombie thread resurrected by a bot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and this is why we don't vacation with other families.

Yep, also my kids eventually get sick of the other kids and I don't enjoy co parenting with people who are not my husband.

+1

Especially because the other family tends to be more "hands off" (call it what you want) and wants us to entertain their kids. Instead we want to ENJOY OUR KIDS - we don't particularly enjoy theirs, we just tolerate them, same as their parents!


Why would you even consider vacationing with people you just “tolerate.” You vacation with friends and typically people attract friends with similar values and temperaments. We enjoy our friends, their children, and the fun that comes with having lots of people to play with all week. I do think that if you’re high strung or generally inflexible then vacationing with other families would be difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After getting burned on this, I now always clarify the setup before committing to sharing a house. Most listings have ample photos so no reason not to hash this out before choosing a place and paying the deposit.

I don't expect the master suite if I'm not the one booking, but DH and I do want at least a queen bed in a room with a door that closes and our own bathroom.

Once shared a house with 2 other couples and was the last to arrive. The couple who booked and paid the deposit claimed the master with king bed, private balcony, and en suite bath (fine), the other couple claimed the queen bedroom with its own bathroom, and DH and I were stuck in a windowless "bedroom" with two twin beds and a bathroom down the hall.

Someone had to take the windowless bedroom… we’re you expecting one of the other couples to volunteer to take it? Sounds like this wasn’t a great house for three couples to rent.

[Anonymous]

We always talk it out first, but it usually doesn't matter much to us. The bedroom is only a place to sleep and we try really hard to only book places that have bedrooms that will please all adults. When we can't, we just roll with whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on Earth would you share a vacation house with another family?

Our thoughts as well. We have a house and witness the shenanigans of this every week for the whole summer. Sometimes it is funny and entertaining other times it sours the all parties for the whole week snd the drinking kicks up a notch or two.

We've vacationed with friends (5 or so different families) approximately 20 times, and never had any problems like this. Sometimes you get the master, sometimes you don't.

Perhaps (i) you need better friends, or (ii) the problem is you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After getting burned on this, I now always clarify the setup before committing to sharing a house. Most listings have ample photos so no reason not to hash this out before choosing a place and paying the deposit.

I don't expect the master suite if I'm not the one booking, but DH and I do want at least a queen bed in a room with a door that closes and our own bathroom.

Once shared a house with 2 other couples and was the last to arrive. The couple who booked and paid the deposit claimed the master with king bed, private balcony, and en suite bath (fine), the other couple claimed the queen bedroom with its own bathroom, and DH and I were stuck in a windowless "bedroom" with two twin beds and a bathroom down the hall.

I'm not sure what your beef is. Someone had to have that room. Why should you get it, as opposed to the other couple?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We typically only vacation with nice people, and usually we argue over wanting the OTHER couple to have the better room.

The only time we experinced what OP is describing is when we vacationed with my husband's extended family. My inlaws paid and took the master (of course) but my SIL took the second and and third best rooms for her and her children, without discussion or apology. So, not doing that again.

This is your own fault. I'd have no problem kicking kids out of the third best room. Adults get to pick rooms before kids. If you didn't speak up, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yeah, usually the booker gets the master suite. There are exceptions - if there's a small child that might sleep in bed with one family and so a king might be better, or other kids rooming in with them, or some other sort of special need.

We used to vacation with a family that had a child who would only sleep in a bed with them. It lasted well past the baby stage and so they always took the nice master king suite, even if we booked; it was annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah, usually the booker gets the master suite. There are exceptions - if there's a small child that might sleep in bed with one family and so a king might be better, or other kids rooming in with them, or some other sort of special need.

We used to vacation with a family that had a child who would only sleep in a bed with them. It lasted well past the baby stage and so they always took the nice master king suite, even if we booked; it was annoying.

How petty do you have to be to be annoyed by this?

[Anonymous]

We managed a group beachside for years. We were pretty formal about who go which rooms. Two had beautiful views 2 were small no view. It’s better to talk it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah, usually the booker gets the master suite. There are exceptions - if there's a small child that might sleep in bed with one family and so a king might be better, or other kids rooming in with them, or some other sort of special need.

We used to vacation with a family that had a child who would only sleep in a bed with them. It lasted well past the baby stage and so they always took the nice master king suite, even if we booked; it was annoying.

How petty do you have to be to be annoyed by this?

Yeah, a NT 9 year old who can’t sleep in a room without their parents? We wouldn’t know it was still an issue, and they would never say anything when we’d propose a house and then book it. They’d just assume they would always get the master. And often times it might have made more sense for us to have the master based on our family situation (e,g., infant). Interestingly, the Dad always gets the master on guys trips too because he’s “tall.” Always. Anyway, it is annoying, but that’s just it...annoying. Not like a vacation or friendship ruining factor. So yeah, not a huge deal (and of course we always let them have the room).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After getting burned on this, I now always clarify the setup before committing to sharing a house. Most listings have ample photos so no reason not to hash this out before choosing a place and paying the deposit.

I don't expect the master suite if I'm not the one booking, but DH and I do want at least a queen bed in a room with a door that closes and our own bathroom.

Once shared a house with 2 other couples and was the last to arrive. The couple who booked and paid the deposit claimed the master with king bed, private balcony, and en suite bath (fine), the other couple claimed the queen bedroom with its own bathroom, and DH and I were stuck in a windowless "bedroom" with two twin beds and a bathroom down the hall.

Someone had to take the windowless bedroom… we’re you expecting one of the other couples to volunteer to take it? Sounds like this wasn’t a great house for three couples to rent.

I was expecting to choose rooms once everyone had arrived. Maybe flip a coin for the better room or maybe one couple offers to treat the other to dinner (or something) in exchange for getting the better room? I had no issue with the couple who booked and put down their CC claiming the master, but it seemed unfair for the other couple to claim the other good room, with no discussion, just because they got there first. DH and I would have waited until everyone was there to choose rooms, and if we lost a coin flip (or whatever) so be it.

Lesson learned and I now know to confirm I'll have suitable accommodations before committing to the trip.