Sharing a vacation home with another family - question about choosing rooms

[Anonymous]

We try to allocate logically based on family needs. Ex a family with little kids might need two rooms next to each other, family with baby in pack in play could use the master with a walk in closet as a nursery, teens who will stay up late and sleep in get basement, etc. In the end, a tie goes to the person who did the legwork to book the place.

[Anonymous]

SPEAK UP or don't complain. You have no right to complain if you don't actually open your mouth and speak.

If you keep laying down, guess what? You'll be walked on like a doormat.

Yes, you still could have said, "Actually, we would like to discuss the rooms before everyone gets settled" when they offered last year. Who cares if their kids got bummed out for 10 whole minutes as a result? You CHOSE not to speak up. Choose better this year.

[Anonymous]

Good point and I will. This is our first time sharing a house.

[Anonymous]

P.s. I was naive and figured they would wait because I would have. Obviously, I have now learned differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This family is like our family and we generally don’t nickel and dime. (We bought groceries; they bought drinks and it may not be even but it’s fine for all). In fact, that’s why I was surprised everything was already decided so I came
here to see if I am unaware of etiquette. Their room is like three times the size of ours but I guess one of us had to get it. And they booked and paid deposit. Now I know and like PP said, I will explicitly say, “let’s pick the rooms once we’re all there,” the next time we vacation together because I do enjoy their company. And our kids like each other. Thanks for validating / acknowledging my feelings. We are paying a ton of $ for this house so I was kind of annoyed.

Next year, you book. And arrive earlier.

Still mention you’d like to alternate next time, do that today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This family is like our family and we generally don’t nickel and dime. (We bought groceries; they bought drinks and it may not be even but it’s fine for all). In fact, that’s why I was surprised everything was already decided so I came
here to see if I am unaware of etiquette. Their room is like three times the size of ours but I guess one of us had to get it. And they booked and paid deposit. Now I know and like PP said, I will explicitly say, “let’s pick the rooms once we’re all there,” the next time we vacation together because I do enjoy their company. And our kids like each other. Thanks for validating / acknowledging my feelings. We are paying a ton of $ for this house so I was kind of annoyed.

Next year, you book. And arrive earlier.

Still mention you’d like to alternate next time, do that today.

If they ask, why don't you just suggest you rotate who gets the nice master every other year. Problem solved. Or, they should pay a few hundred more.

[Anonymous]

We only book houses where people are comfortable in their rooms. So if you want a private bath, or a king sized bed, you need to speak up during the booking process so we can find a house that is good for everyone.

I'd email the rental place and ask for a breakdown of where the rooms are. Many rental websites have virtual walk through tours so you can see all the rooms ahead of time.

Get ahead of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This family is like our family and we generally don’t nickel and dime. (We bought groceries; they bought drinks and it may not be even but it’s fine for all). In fact, that’s why I was surprised everything was already decided so I came
here to see if I am unaware of etiquette. Their room is like three times the size of ours but I guess one of us had to get it. And they booked and paid deposit. Now I know and like PP said, I will explicitly say, “let’s pick the rooms once we’re all there,” the next time we vacation together because I do enjoy their company. And our kids like each other. Thanks for validating / acknowledging my feelings. We are paying a ton of $ for this house so I was kind of annoyed.

Next year, you book. And arrive earlier.

Still mention you’d like to alternate next time, do that today.

If they ask, why don't you just suggest you rotate who gets the nice master every other year. Problem solved. Or, they should pay a few hundred more.

Agree, this is the best way to handle it. When planning next year's trip, you say "it's our turn to get the master suite this year, since you got it last year. However, your kids get first dibs on picking their room and then our kids will take the other kid room. We can switch next year."

Take a little, give a little. I'd be annoyed too, since I'm always the planner (and booker) of group trips and usually take the master suite.

Then again, I ALWAYS arrive early to open the house when I'm organizer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This family is like our family and we generally don’t nickel and dime. (We bought groceries; they bought drinks and it may not be even but it’s fine for all). In fact, that’s why I was surprised everything was already decided so I came
here to see if I am unaware of etiquette. Their room is like three times the size of ours but I guess one of us had to get it. And they booked and paid deposit. Now I know and like PP said, I will explicitly say, “let’s pick the rooms once we’re all there,” the next time we vacation together because I do enjoy their company. And our kids like each other. Thanks for validating / acknowledging my feelings. We are paying a ton of $ for this house so I was kind of annoyed.

Next year, you book. And arrive earlier.

Still mention you’d like to alternate next time, do that today.

If they ask, why don't you just suggest you rotate who gets the nice master every other year. Problem solved. Or, they should pay a few hundred more.

Agree, this is the best way to handle it. When planning next year's trip, you say "it's our turn to get the master suite this year, since you got it last year. However, your kids get first dibs on picking their room and then our kids will take the other kid room. We can switch next year."

Take a little, give a little. I'd be annoyed too, since I'm always the planner (and booker) of group trips and usually take the master suite.

Then again, I ALWAYS arrive early to open the house when I'm organizer.

In your case, you booked/reserved/planned. Of course you get the master. In OP's case, she didn't, but still is annoyed she didn't get the master!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This family is like our family and we generally don’t nickel and dime. (We bought groceries; they bought drinks and it may not be even but it’s fine for all). In fact, that’s why I was surprised everything was already decided so I came
here to see if I am unaware of etiquette. Their room is like three times the size of ours but I guess one of us had to get it. And they booked and paid deposit. Now I know and like PP said, I will explicitly say, “let’s pick the rooms once we’re all there,” the next time we vacation together because I do enjoy their company. And our kids like each other. Thanks for validating / acknowledging my feelings. We are paying a ton of $ for this house so I was kind of annoyed.

This is key. If you want the master, offer to put skin the game next year and pay the deposit and put your card down on file.

[Anonymous]

When the group is swingers, it’s not really a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This family is like our family and we generally don’t nickel and dime. (We bought groceries; they bought drinks and it may not be even but it’s fine for all). In fact, that’s why I was surprised everything was already decided so I came
here to see if I am unaware of etiquette. Their room is like three times the size of ours but I guess one of us had to get it. And they booked and paid deposit.[u] Now I know and like PP said, I will explicitly say, “let’s pick the rooms once we’re all there,” the next time we vacation together because I do enjoy their company. And our kids like each other. Thanks for validating / acknowledging my feelings. We are paying a ton of $ for this house so I was kind of annoyed.

Next year, you book. And arrive earlier.

Still mention you’d like to alternate next time, do that today.

If they ask, why don't you just suggest you rotate who gets the nice master every other year. Problem solved. Or, they should pay a few hundred more.

Agree, this is the best way to handle it. When planning next year's trip, you say "it's our turn to get the master suite this year, since you got it last year. However, your kids get first dibs on picking their room and then our kids will take the other kid room. We can switch next year."

Take a little, give a little. I'd be annoyed too, since I'm always the planner (and booker) of group trips and usually take the master suite.

Then again, I ALWAYS arrive early to open the house when I'm organizer.

In your case, you booked/reserved/planned. Of course you get the master. In OP's case, she didn't, but still is annoyed she didn't get the master!

Yeah, OP you offer to book and pay the deposit next year and then you can choose the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Person who booked gets the first pick. Then any other special needs (for example when we were traveling with a small child we claimed in advance a room with a bathtub in the bathroom). OP if it bothers you next time you travel with them make it clear you want to pick when everyone gets there. This is reasonable if everyone is traveling at about the same time. Anyone who gets there significantly later than everyone else is stuck with the rooms that are left.

+1

Booker or other special cases get first dibs. If you don't like it, offer to organize next year.

[Anonymous]

OP you really have no grounds to be annoyed b/c they did the research and paid the deposit. This is just how everyone we know rolls. It's a lot of work to research and plan. If you want the master without the legwork, then you offer to pay more.

Otherwise you're a mooch.

[Anonymous]

I always offer the better room to the other family.

You may call me a doormat but being gracious, having a chilled out vacation where we are not bickering over petty things is more important to me than the room I am going to be staying in for just a few days. If I am going on vacation with someone, I am pretty close to them, and I am happy if they are happy.

Almost all the time when I offer the better room to the other family, they insist we take it instead, so we end up doing a coin flip or deciding based on who has the need for the bigger room (for example, they have a small child, more people etc).