Sharing a vacation home with another family - question about choosing rooms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After getting burned on this, I now always clarify the setup before committing to sharing a house. Most listings have ample photos so no reason not to hash this out before choosing a place and paying the deposit.

I don't expect the master suite if I'm not the one booking, but DH and I do want at least a queen bed in a room with a door that closes and our own bathroom.

Once shared a house with 2 other couples and was the last to arrive. The couple who booked and paid the deposit claimed the master with king bed, private balcony, and en suite bath (fine), the other couple claimed the queen bedroom with its own bathroom, and DH and I were stuck in a windowless "bedroom" with two twin beds and a bathroom down the hall.

I'm not sure what your beef is. Someone had to have that room. Why should you get it, as opposed to the other couple?

My main beef is that there was no discussion about it.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, who cares?

This. If you're spending that much time in a room during vacation, you're doing something wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After getting burned on this, I now always clarify the setup before committing to sharing a house. Most listings have ample photos so no reason not to hash this out before choosing a place and paying the deposit.

I don't expect the master suite if I'm not the one booking, but DH and I do want at least a queen bed in a room with a door that closes and our own bathroom.

Once shared a house with 2 other couples and was the last to arrive. The couple who booked and paid the deposit claimed the master with king bed, private balcony, and en suite bath (fine), the other couple claimed the queen bedroom with its own bathroom, and DH and I were stuck in a windowless "bedroom" with two twin beds and a bathroom down the hall.

Someone had to take the windowless bedroom… we’re you expecting one of the other couples to volunteer to take it? Sounds like this wasn’t a great house for three couples to rent.

I was expecting to choose rooms once everyone had arrived. Maybe flip a coin for the better room or maybe one couple offers to treat the other to dinner (or something) in exchange for getting the better room? I had no issue with the couple who booked and put down their CC claiming the master, but it seemed unfair for the other couple to claim the other good room, with no discussion, just because they got there first. DH and I would have waited until everyone was there to choose rooms, and if we lost a coin flip (or whatever) so be it.

Lesson learned and I now know to confirm I'll have suitable accommodations before committing to the trip.

I don't think you've thought this through. Under your coin flip or discussion scenario, you won't know if you have "suitable accommodations" before you go on the trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, who cares?

This. If you're spending that much time in a room during vacation, you're doing something wrong.

Yea, we vacationed for several years in a row with two other families with whom we were very close -- and one of the couples really, really cared about getting the best room. We thought it was pretty lame, but whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We discussed beforehand but the person who booked generally gets the better room. We never mind that because I don't want to plan anything!

Definitely the person that books gets the better room. It is a small reward for a BIG pain and hours looking to find the perfect house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This family is like our family and we generally don’t nickel and dime. (We bought groceries; they bought drinks and it may not be even but it’s fine for all). In fact, that’s why I was surprised everything was already decided so I came
here to see if I am unaware of etiquette. Their room is like three times the size of ours but I guess one of us had to get it. And they booked and paid deposit. Now I know and like PP said, I will explicitly say, “let’s pick the rooms once we’re all there,” the next time we vacation together because I do enjoy their company. And our kids like each other. Thanks for validating / acknowledging my feelings. We are paying a ton of $ for this house so I was kind of annoyed.

Sure, if you book and pay the deposit next year but otherwise, the first choice should go to whoever booked it,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After getting burned on this, I now always clarify the setup before committing to sharing a house. Most listings have ample photos so no reason not to hash this out before choosing a place and paying the deposit.

I don't expect the master suite if I'm not the one booking, but DH and I do want at least a queen bed in a room with a door that closes and our own bathroom.

Once shared a house with 2 other couples and was the last to arrive. The couple who booked and paid the deposit claimed the master with king bed, private balcony, and en suite bath (fine), the other couple claimed the queen bedroom with its own bathroom, and DH and I were stuck in a windowless "bedroom" with two twin beds and a bathroom down the hall.

Someone had to take the windowless bedroom… we’re you expecting one of the other couples to volunteer to take it? Sounds like this wasn’t a great house for three couples to rent.

I was expecting to choose rooms once everyone had arrived. Maybe flip a coin for the better room or maybe one couple offers to treat the other to dinner (or something) in exchange for getting the better room? I had no issue with the couple who booked and put down their CC claiming the master, but it seemed unfair for the other couple to claim the other good room, with no discussion, just because they got there first. DH and I would have waited until everyone was there to choose rooms, and if we lost a coin flip (or whatever) so be it.

Lesson learned and I now know to confirm I'll have suitable accommodations before committing to the trip.

I don't think you've thought this through. Under your coin flip or discussion scenario, you won't know if you have "suitable accommodations" before you go on the trip.

I meant a coin flip or discussion would have been more fair for that particular house, where 1 of the 3 bedrooms sucks for a couple hoping to enjoy some couple time on a kid-free vacation. After that trip I learned to figure out the bedroom situation ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After getting burned on this, I now always clarify the setup before committing to sharing a house. Most listings have ample photos so no reason not to hash this out before choosing a place and paying the deposit.

I don't expect the master suite if I'm not the one booking, but DH and I do want at least a queen bed in a room with a door that closes and our own bathroom.

Once shared a house with 2 other couples and was the last to arrive. The couple who booked and paid the deposit claimed the master with king bed, private balcony, and en suite bath (fine), the other couple claimed the queen bedroom with its own bathroom, and DH and I were stuck in a windowless "bedroom" with two twin beds and a bathroom down the hall.

Someone had to take the windowless bedroom… we’re you expecting one of the other couples to volunteer to take it? Sounds like this wasn’t a great house for three couples to rent.

I was expecting to choose rooms once everyone had arrived. Maybe flip a coin for the better room or maybe one couple offers to treat the other to dinner (or something) in exchange for getting the better room? I had no issue with the couple who booked and put down their CC claiming the master, but it seemed unfair for the other couple to claim the other good room, with no discussion, just because they got there first. DH and I would have waited until everyone was there to choose rooms, and if we lost a coin flip (or whatever) so be it.

Lesson learned and I now know to confirm I'll have suitable accommodations before committing to the trip.

I don't think you've thought this through. Under your coin flip or discussion scenario, you won't know if you have "suitable accommodations" before you go on the trip.

I meant a coin flip or discussion would have been more fair for that particular house, where 1 of the 3 bedrooms sucks for a couple hoping to enjoy some couple time on a kid-free vacation. After that trip I learned to figure out the bedroom situation ahead of time.

I would never book a place where there is such a huge difference in room type/quality amongst adult couples without everyone clearing it first, with a specific plan in place prior to booking. Honestly even then I’m still not sure I’d be comfortable doing it - it just really isn’t fair to the ones stuck in such subpar accommodations compared to the others. Maybe if they agreed to a reduced monetary share. Maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After getting burned on this, I now always clarify the setup before committing to sharing a house. Most listings have ample photos so no reason not to hash this out before choosing a place and paying the deposit.

I don't expect the master suite if I'm not the one booking, but DH and I do want at least a queen bed in a room with a door that closes and our own bathroom.

Once shared a house with 2 other couples and was the last to arrive. The couple who booked and paid the deposit claimed the master with king bed, private balcony, and en suite bath (fine), the other couple claimed the queen bedroom with its own bathroom, and DH and I were stuck in a windowless "bedroom" with two twin beds and a bathroom down the hall.

Someone had to take the windowless bedroom… we’re you expecting one of the other couples to volunteer to take it? Sounds like this wasn’t a great house for three couples to rent.

I was expecting to choose rooms once everyone had arrived. Maybe flip a coin for the better room or maybe one couple offers to treat the other to dinner (or something) in exchange for getting the better room? I had no issue with the couple who booked and put down their CC claiming the master, but it seemed unfair for the other couple to claim the other good room, with no discussion, just because they got there first. DH and I would have waited until everyone was there to choose rooms, and if we lost a coin flip (or whatever) so be it.

Lesson learned and I now know to confirm I'll have suitable accommodations before committing to the trip.

I don't think you've thought this through. Under your coin flip or discussion scenario, you won't know if you have "suitable accommodations" before you go on the trip.

I meant a coin flip or discussion would have been more fair for that particular house, where 1 of the 3 bedrooms sucks for a couple hoping to enjoy some couple time on a kid-free vacation. After that trip I learned to figure out the bedroom situation ahead of time.

I would never book a place where there is such a huge difference in room type/quality amongst adult couples without everyone clearing it first, with a specific plan in place prior to booking. Honestly even then I’m still not sure I’d be comfortable doing it - it just really isn’t fair to the ones stuck in such subpar accommodations compared to the others. Maybe if they agreed to a reduced monetary share. Maybe.

I wouldn’t either and I just assumed the non-master rooms would be similar and regardless that we would decide on bedrooms once everyone arrived. Again, lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

The booker chooses

[Anonymous]

I do a lot of these kinds of vacations with two different groups of friends and we handle the same.

Booker gets first choice. After that, it’s first come, first serve except whoever arrives first and the booker (who typically arrived early too) try to map out where everyone will go to make sure the rooms meet everyone’s various needs (kids, late sleepers, early to bed people, etc.)

The problem I see with waiting until everyone is there is sometimes people arrive hours later. People want to unpack and get settled.

But in OP’s case with just 2 families and knowing they are 20 minutes behind, I probably would have waited.

[Anonymous]

I always thought the rule was first come first serve tbh, except if singles were vacationing with couples- then couples got the bigger rooms. Used to get burnt by this when I was younger.

[Anonymous]

When splitting costs, does a couple pay one share (per bedroom) or two (per person)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This family is like our family and we generally don’t nickel and dime. (We bought groceries; they bought drinks and it may not be even but it’s fine for all). In fact, that’s why I was surprised everything was already decided so I came
here to see if I am unaware of etiquette. Their room is like three times the size of ours but I guess one of us had to get it. And they booked and paid deposit. Now I know and like PP said, I will explicitly say, “let’s pick the rooms once we’re all there,” the next time we vacation together because I do enjoy their company. And our kids like each other. Thanks for validating / acknowledging my feelings. We are paying a ton of $ for this house so I was kind of annoyed.

Sure, if you book and pay the deposit next year but otherwise, the first choice should go to whoever booked it,

Your strategy isn't going to work. Find a suitable house. My friends and I once booked a house with several master bedrooms for this reason then it's fair.