If you hated your own school years..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child. I really do. Your anxiety is going to drive your kid crazy never mind the people around you.

If the base is locked down, call the school and say that you can't get there because the base is locked down. I doubt you are the only family attending the school that lives on base.

You will get her to school on time because that is your job. It doesn't matter if it is public or private, there are consequences for missing school for anything other then an excused reason. Miss too much school for unexcused reason and she will not be invited back for the next grade. So work it out. You develop a morning routine and your child has consequences for not following that routine. Provide rewards at the beginning for following the routine.

She wears her uniform. You choose the school with the uniform that you knew she would not like to wearing. You figure out how to get her to wear her uniform. Again, there is nothing wrong with a reward system. She will get used to it and it is not going to be an issue.

But it sounds like you are dead set on having a miserable summer, spent crying about problems that have yet to occur, and complaining about a choice that you made.

You're missing the point. I can't make sure she stays dressed. She's her own person. I can't control lockdowns. I can't even call the school since cell phones aren't allowed while driving! Since I graduated from high school, I've been able to control everything necessary to comply with all the rules in my life, and now I can't. Now I'm at the whim of dozens of other people, and it's very, very stressful to know I might break a rule regardless of all my attempts to comply. I honestly don't understand how people can deal with this. Do they not care about rules?

And yes, I saw a therapist about this. We had a dozen sessions of talking about my childhood before I realized it wasn't helping.

The word is: adulting.

You can do it, OP. We all do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is the one insisting on that private school, let him deal with getting her there on time and answering the calls from school if she takes her belt off.

But usually even strict private schools cut the K's a little slack with the uniform. There are the rules as written in the handbook, and there's what actually happens in the classroom. The littlest kids don't usually get in trouble for doing what kids do to their clothes.

Then why have rules in the handbook?

DH is gone most of the time. This falls to me.

Ah, so you don't actually want advice or to fix things, you just want to bitch and moan about how terrible it is that your child has to attend school on time and wear a uniform. Well, good luck with the school year!

So you give bad advice then blame me for not taking it? Weird. I'm glad your spouse is around.

There's someone weird on this thread, and it isn't the PP. People have tried to give you advice and reassure you, and you are just digging in your heels and frankly, being a bitch about it (the PP had no way of knowing that your husband is absentee). Look, no one is going to agree with you that expecting kids to be on time to school and wear a uniform is unreasonable or draconian or worthy of the stress and anxiety it is causing you. It's just not. Your unhappiness about this is totally disproportionate. Your kid will learn to deal with the uniform. You will figure out how to get her to school on time. Millions of people do this all the time. You can choose to be practical and deal with this, or you can choose to be anxious and resentful and stressed and unhappy. It's totally up to you.

I strongly suspect that OP is the author of numerous other threads on DCUM, where she complains and complains and complains, people offer suggestions and she rejects them all, and her untreated anxiety is on full display. The military husband, the school anxiety, the DH-insists-on-private-but-I-wanted-public, it all tracks. One thread she decided she needed to quit her job because she couldn't bring herself to tell her employer that the morning conference call conflicts with school drop off. Pages upon pages upon pages of obvious untreated anxiety, OP lashing out at anyone who dared suggest as much, and shooting down every single reasonable suggestion people put forth. Oh woe is me, you just don't understand!

Oh yeahhhhh, that make sense. I'm done with this -- like beating my head against the wall when someone insists on completely contrary despite all reasonable suggestions.

NP. I agree. I read those other threads and they're similar. Why does the same poster keep posting the same issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child. I really do. Your anxiety is going to drive your kid crazy never mind the people around you.

If the base is locked down, call the school and say that you can't get there because the base is locked down. I doubt you are the only family attending the school that lives on base.

You will get her to school on time because that is your job. It doesn't matter if it is public or private, there are consequences for missing school for anything other then an excused reason. Miss too much school for unexcused reason and she will not be invited back for the next grade. So work it out. You develop a morning routine and your child has consequences for not following that routine. Provide rewards at the beginning for following the routine.

She wears her uniform. You choose the school with the uniform that you knew she would not like to wearing. You figure out how to get her to wear her uniform. Again, there is nothing wrong with a reward system. She will get used to it and it is not going to be an issue.

But it sounds like you are dead set on having a miserable summer, spent crying about problems that have yet to occur, and complaining about a choice that you made.

You're missing the point. I can't make sure she stays dressed. She's her own person. I can't control lockdowns. I can't even call the school since cell phones aren't allowed while driving! Since I graduated from high school, I've been able to control everything necessary to comply with all the rules in my life, and now I can't. Now I'm at the whim of dozens of other people, and it's very, very stressful to know I might break a rule regardless of all my attempts to comply. I honestly don't understand how people can deal with this. Do they not care about rules?

And yes, I saw a therapist about this. We had a dozen sessions of talking about my childhood before I realized it wasn't helping.

The word is: adulting.

You can do it, OP. We all do it.

I can adult just fine if other people aren't involved. But when the possibility of punishment for something someone else did it out there, then yes, I get anxious. That's normal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child. I really do. Your anxiety is going to drive your kid crazy never mind the people around you.

If the base is locked down, call the school and say that you can't get there because the base is locked down. I doubt you are the only family attending the school that lives on base.

You will get her to school on time because that is your job. It doesn't matter if it is public or private, there are consequences for missing school for anything other then an excused reason. Miss too much school for unexcused reason and she will not be invited back for the next grade. So work it out. You develop a morning routine and your child has consequences for not following that routine. Provide rewards at the beginning for following the routine.

She wears her uniform. You choose the school with the uniform that you knew she would not like to wearing. You figure out how to get her to wear her uniform. Again, there is nothing wrong with a reward system. She will get used to it and it is not going to be an issue.

But it sounds like you are dead set on having a miserable summer, spent crying about problems that have yet to occur, and complaining about a choice that you made.

You're missing the point. I can't make sure she stays dressed. She's her own person. I can't control lockdowns. I can't even call the school since cell phones aren't allowed while driving! Since I graduated from high school, I've been able to control everything necessary to comply with all the rules in my life, and now I can't. Now I'm at the whim of dozens of other people, and it's very, very stressful to know I might break a rule regardless of all my attempts to comply. I honestly don't understand how people can deal with this. Do they not care about rules?

And yes, I saw a therapist about this. We had a dozen sessions of talking about my childhood before I realized it wasn't helping.

The word is: adulting.

You can do it, OP. We all do it.

I can adult just fine if other people aren't involved. But when the possibility of punishment for something someone else did it out there, then yes, I get anxious. That's normal!

No, it's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child. I really do. Your anxiety is going to drive your kid crazy never mind the people around you.

If the base is locked down, call the school and say that you can't get there because the base is locked down. I doubt you are the only family attending the school that lives on base.

You will get her to school on time because that is your job. It doesn't matter if it is public or private, there are consequences for missing school for anything other then an excused reason. Miss too much school for unexcused reason and she will not be invited back for the next grade. So work it out. You develop a morning routine and your child has consequences for not following that routine. Provide rewards at the beginning for following the routine.

She wears her uniform. You choose the school with the uniform that you knew she would not like to wearing. You figure out how to get her to wear her uniform. Again, there is nothing wrong with a reward system. She will get used to it and it is not going to be an issue.

But it sounds like you are dead set on having a miserable summer, spent crying about problems that have yet to occur, and complaining about a choice that you made.

You're missing the point. I can't make sure she stays dressed. She's her own person. I can't control lockdowns. I can't even call the school since cell phones aren't allowed while driving! Since I graduated from high school, I've been able to control everything necessary to comply with all the rules in my life, and now I can't. Now I'm at the whim of dozens of other people, and it's very, very stressful to know I might break a rule regardless of all my attempts to comply. I honestly don't understand how people can deal with this. Do they not care about rules?

And yes, I saw a therapist about this. We had a dozen sessions of talking about my childhood before I realized it wasn't helping.

The word is: adulting.

You can do it, OP. We all do it.

I can adult just fine if other people aren't involved. But when the possibility of punishment for something someone else did it out there, then yes, I get anxious. That's normal!

No, it's not.

Completely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is the one insisting on that private school, let him deal with getting her there on time and answering the calls from school if she takes her belt off.

But usually even strict private schools cut the K's a little slack with the uniform. There are the rules as written in the handbook, and there's what actually happens in the classroom. The littlest kids don't usually get in trouble for doing what kids do to their clothes.

Then why have rules in the handbook?

DH is gone most of the time. This falls to me.

Ah, so you don't actually want advice or to fix things, you just want to bitch and moan about how terrible it is that your child has to attend school on time and wear a uniform. Well, good luck with the school year!

So you give bad advice then blame me for not taking it? Weird. I'm glad your spouse is around.

There's someone weird on this thread, and it isn't the PP. People have tried to give you advice and reassure you, and you are just digging in your heels and frankly, being a bitch about it (the PP had no way of knowing that your husband is absentee). Look, no one is going to agree with you that expecting kids to be on time to school and wear a uniform is unreasonable or draconian or worthy of the stress and anxiety it is causing you. It's just not. Your unhappiness about this is totally disproportionate. Your kid will learn to deal with the uniform. You will figure out how to get her to school on time. Millions of people do this all the time. You can choose to be practical and deal with this, or you can choose to be anxious and resentful and stressed and unhappy. It's totally up to you.

I strongly suspect that OP is the author of numerous other threads on DCUM, where she complains and complains and complains, people offer suggestions and she rejects them all, and her untreated anxiety is on full display. The military husband, the school anxiety, the DH-insists-on-private-but-I-wanted-public, it all tracks. One thread she decided she needed to quit her job because she couldn't bring herself to tell her employer that the morning conference call conflicts with school drop off. Pages upon pages upon pages of obvious untreated anxiety, OP lashing out at anyone who dared suggest as much, and shooting down every single reasonable suggestion people put forth. Oh woe is me, you just don't understand!

Yup, this pinged for me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is the one insisting on that private school, let him deal with getting her there on time and answering the calls from school if she takes her belt off.

But usually even strict private schools cut the K's a little slack with the uniform. There are the rules as written in the handbook, and there's what actually happens in the classroom. The littlest kids don't usually get in trouble for doing what kids do to their clothes.

Then why have rules in the handbook?

DH is gone most of the time. This falls to me.

Ah, so you don't actually want advice or to fix things, you just want to bitch and moan about how terrible it is that your child has to attend school on time and wear a uniform. Well, good luck with the school year!

So you give bad advice then blame me for not taking it? Weird. I'm glad your spouse is around.

There's someone weird on this thread, and it isn't the PP. People have tried to give you advice and reassure you, and you are just digging in your heels and frankly, being a bitch about it (the PP had no way of knowing that your husband is absentee). Look, no one is going to agree with you that expecting kids to be on time to school and wear a uniform is unreasonable or draconian or worthy of the stress and anxiety it is causing you. It's just not. Your unhappiness about this is totally disproportionate. Your kid will learn to deal with the uniform. You will figure out how to get her to school on time. Millions of people do this all the time. You can choose to be practical and deal with this, or you can choose to be anxious and resentful and stressed and unhappy. It's totally up to you.

I strongly suspect that OP is the author of numerous other threads on DCUM, where she complains and complains and complains, people offer suggestions and she rejects them all, and her untreated anxiety is on full display. The military husband, the school anxiety, the DH-insists-on-private-but-I-wanted-public, it all tracks. One thread she decided she needed to quit her job because she couldn't bring herself to tell her employer that the morning conference call conflicts with school drop off. Pages upon pages upon pages of obvious untreated anxiety, OP lashing out at anyone who dared suggest as much, and shooting down every single reasonable suggestion people put forth. Oh woe is me, you just don't understand!

Oh yeahhhhh, that make sense. I'm done with this -- like beating my head against the wall when someone insists on completely contrary despite all reasonable suggestions.

NP. I agree. I read those other threads and they're similar. Why does the same poster keep posting the same issues?

Because she will not treat her mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child. I really do. Your anxiety is going to drive your kid crazy never mind the people around you.

If the base is locked down, call the school and say that you can't get there because the base is locked down. I doubt you are the only family attending the school that lives on base.

You will get her to school on time because that is your job. It doesn't matter if it is public or private, there are consequences for missing school for anything other then an excused reason. Miss too much school for unexcused reason and she will not be invited back for the next grade. So work it out. You develop a morning routine and your child has consequences for not following that routine. Provide rewards at the beginning for following the routine.

She wears her uniform. You choose the school with the uniform that you knew she would not like to wearing. You figure out how to get her to wear her uniform. Again, there is nothing wrong with a reward system. She will get used to it and it is not going to be an issue.

But it sounds like you are dead set on having a miserable summer, spent crying about problems that have yet to occur, and complaining about a choice that you made.

You're missing the point. I can't make sure she stays dressed. She's her own person. I can't control lockdowns. I can't even call the school since cell phones aren't allowed while driving! Since I graduated from high school, I've been able to control everything necessary to comply with all the rules in my life, and now I can't. Now I'm at the whim of dozens of other people, and it's very, very stressful to know I might break a rule regardless of all my attempts to comply. I honestly don't understand how people can deal with this. Do they not care about rules?

And yes, I saw a therapist about this. We had a dozen sessions of talking about my childhood before I realized it wasn't helping.

The word is: adulting.

You can do it, OP. We all do it.

I can adult just fine if other people aren't involved. But when the possibility of punishment for something someone else did it out there, then yes, I get anxious. That's normal!

No, it's not.

Completely not.

So you're ok with being punished for something someone else did, even though you did everything you could to talk them out of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child. I really do. Your anxiety is going to drive your kid crazy never mind the people around you.

If the base is locked down, call the school and say that you can't get there because the base is locked down. I doubt you are the only family attending the school that lives on base.

You will get her to school on time because that is your job. It doesn't matter if it is public or private, there are consequences for missing school for anything other then an excused reason. Miss too much school for unexcused reason and she will not be invited back for the next grade. So work it out. You develop a morning routine and your child has consequences for not following that routine. Provide rewards at the beginning for following the routine.

She wears her uniform. You choose the school with the uniform that you knew she would not like to wearing. You figure out how to get her to wear her uniform. Again, there is nothing wrong with a reward system. She will get used to it and it is not going to be an issue.

But it sounds like you are dead set on having a miserable summer, spent crying about problems that have yet to occur, and complaining about a choice that you made.

You're missing the point. I can't make sure she stays dressed. She's her own person. I can't control lockdowns. I can't even call the school since cell phones aren't allowed while driving! Since I graduated from high school, I've been able to control everything necessary to comply with all the rules in my life, and now I can't. Now I'm at the whim of dozens of other people, and it's very, very stressful to know I might break a rule regardless of all my attempts to comply. I honestly don't understand how people can deal with this. Do they not care about rules?

And yes, I saw a therapist about this. We had a dozen sessions of talking about my childhood before I realized it wasn't helping.

The word is: adulting.

You can do it, OP. We all do it.

I can adult just fine if other people aren't involved. But when the possibility of punishment for something someone else did it out there, then yes, I get anxious. That's normal!

No, it's not.

Completely not.

So you're ok with being punished for something someone else did, even though you did everything you could to talk them out of it?

OP, if you live on base, there are other families there. Talk to them -- what do they do about school when the base is on lockdown? What is their solution? If the state is really that strict, then homeschooling might be worth considering.

But if you just want to complain, then I suppose this is as good a place as any.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. I also have bad anxiety and DD also could not care less about showing up on time or wearing a tutu over her bathing suit to school.

With my anxiety, structure helps. Setting strict - do this - do that - now it’s this..

You start early in the morning. No screen time. Charts on walls for kid. Brush teeth - sticker. Shoes on - sticker. Get in car time (10 min before you actually need to leave): sticker

Refuses to wear uniform shirt: consequence Late to school because of iPad meltdown: consequence

If you need your own sticker chart - so be it - I’m sure there is an app to check stuff off.

I’d look at the small things. Set small goals. Don’t worry about being kicked out if school - that’s classic anxiety talk - making mountains out of molehills.

It’s a private - you pay them. You are the consumer, unless your kid starts dealing drugs to 1st graders I doubt getting anything more than a hand slap is going to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child. I really do. Your anxiety is going to drive your kid crazy never mind the people around you.

If the base is locked down, call the school and say that you can't get there because the base is locked down. I doubt you are the only family attending the school that lives on base.

You will get her to school on time because that is your job. It doesn't matter if it is public or private, there are consequences for missing school for anything other then an excused reason. Miss too much school for unexcused reason and she will not be invited back for the next grade. So work it out. You develop a morning routine and your child has consequences for not following that routine. Provide rewards at the beginning for following the routine.

She wears her uniform. You choose the school with the uniform that you knew she would not like to wearing. You figure out how to get her to wear her uniform. Again, there is nothing wrong with a reward system. She will get used to it and it is not going to be an issue.

But it sounds like you are dead set on having a miserable summer, spent crying about problems that have yet to occur, and complaining about a choice that you made.

You're missing the point. I can't make sure she stays dressed. She's her own person. I can't control lockdowns. I can't even call the school since cell phones aren't allowed while driving! Since I graduated from high school, I've been able to control everything necessary to comply with all the rules in my life, and now I can't. Now I'm at the whim of dozens of other people, and it's very, very stressful to know I might break a rule regardless of all my attempts to comply. I honestly don't understand how people can deal with this. Do they not care about rules?

And yes, I saw a therapist about this. We had a dozen sessions of talking about my childhood before I realized it wasn't helping.

The word is: adulting.

You can do it, OP. We all do it.

I can adult just fine if other people aren't involved. But when the possibility of punishment for something someone else did it out there, then yes, I get anxious. That's normal!

No, it's not.

Completely not.

So you're ok with being punished for something someone else did, even though you did everything you could to talk them out of it?

What punishment is the school going to give you? Are you going to be fined, arrested, beaten? Are they going to ground you, or take your phone away?

[Anonymous]

You definitely have an anxiety issue and should get help with that. The always needing to be in control, always being extra early for things, catastrophic thinking, definitely cry out anxiety. If the therapist you tried before was not helpful, try someone else. Sometimes it takes a couple tries to find a good fit.

As to managing your anxiety in the meantime…

1. Talk to the school to explain your concerns about base closings that might impact being on time/getting there at all. Ask them how can you best handle that? If they say it’s a big problem and if you are late because of that more than x times you are getting kicked out well, then, time to start looking for a different school that will be more accommodating. You aren’t being “punished”, it’s just that you have learned that the school isn’t a good fit with your lifestyle.

2. Having to arrive in a 10-min window when you like to be 20 min+ early for things. Just be 20 min early and park on a neighborhood street nearby. Use the time to read or talk with your DD.

3. Uniform issues – if she’s taking it off at school, the teacher will deal with it. She will see other kids wearing it and probably adapt eventually. Try the sticker motivation charts PP mentioned. The most “punishment” likely to happen is a note home to you to work with her on it. If she won’t come around and the school is strict about it then, again, start looking for a different school that is a better fit. Again, you aren’t being “punished”, just have learned that the school isn’t a good fit for your child.

4. The 10 absence limit – this is just life and every parent who isn’t homeschooling deals with it. You vacation during school breaks. You schedule dentist/doctor appointments for after school whenever you can. My kids are 14 and 16 and only one has ever come close to the 10 absence limit in a school year when she got the flu twice. They just don’t get sick that often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child. I really do. Your anxiety is going to drive your kid crazy never mind the people around you.

If the base is locked down, call the school and say that you can't get there because the base is locked down. I doubt you are the only family attending the school that lives on base.

You will get her to school on time because that is your job. It doesn't matter if it is public or private, there are consequences for missing school for anything other then an excused reason. Miss too much school for unexcused reason and she will not be invited back for the next grade. So work it out. You develop a morning routine and your child has consequences for not following that routine. Provide rewards at the beginning for following the routine.

She wears her uniform. You choose the school with the uniform that you knew she would not like to wearing. You figure out how to get her to wear her uniform. Again, there is nothing wrong with a reward system. She will get used to it and it is not going to be an issue.

But it sounds like you are dead set on having a miserable summer, spent crying about problems that have yet to occur, and complaining about a choice that you made.

You're missing the point. I can't make sure she stays dressed. She's her own person. I can't control lockdowns. I can't even call the school since cell phones aren't allowed while driving! Since I graduated from high school, I've been able to control everything necessary to comply with all the rules in my life, and now I can't. Now I'm at the whim of dozens of other people, and it's very, very stressful to know I might break a rule regardless of all my attempts to comply. I honestly don't understand how people can deal with this. Do they not care about rules?

And yes, I saw a therapist about this. We had a dozen sessions of talking about my childhood before I realized it wasn't helping.

The word is: adulting.

You can do it, OP. We all do it.

I can adult just fine if other people aren't involved. But when the possibility of punishment for something someone else did it out there, then yes, I get anxious. That's normal!

No, it's not.

Completely not.

So you're ok with being punished for something someone else did, even though you did everything you could to talk them out of it?

As an adult who is a parent I realize that I am responsible for my kid. So if my kid is not following the rules, I need to find way to make my kid follow the rules. If my kid refuses, ie won't wear a belt when they have to, then I need to come up with an appropriate consequence at home for breaking the rule. Or better yet, I come up with a reward to encourage the kid to wear the belt until it becomes normal and I can remove the reward. So child gets a special snack when she comes home from school having worn her belt all day. That slowly changes to a special dessert on Friday in the second week for wearing the belt all week. If the belt is not worn then she loses something she likes to do/play with.

If she really won't wear the belt and it is an issue with the school, I find a school that doesn't require she wears a belt.

All the while I see a mental health professional to treat my anxiety and I realize that I need to actually listen to the professional and take the medication that they are prescribing me because I am beating my head against the wall weeks in advance because I am worried that my kid won't wear a belt to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You definitely have an anxiety issue and should get help with that. The always needing to be in control, always being extra early for things, catastrophic thinking, definitely cry out anxiety. If the therapist you tried before was not helpful, try someone else. Sometimes it takes a couple tries to find a good fit.

As to managing your anxiety in the meantime…

1. Talk to the school to explain your concerns about base closings that might impact being on time/getting there at all. Ask them how can you best handle that? If they say it’s a big problem and if you are late because of that more than x times you are getting kicked out well, then, time to start looking for a different school that will be more accommodating. You aren’t being “punished”, it’s just that you have learned that the school isn’t a good fit with your lifestyle.

2. Having to arrive in a 10-min window when you like to be 20 min+ early for things. Just be 20 min early and park on a neighborhood street nearby. Use the time to read or talk with your DD.

3. Uniform issues – if she’s taking it off at school, the teacher will deal with it. She will see other kids wearing it and probably adapt eventually. Try the sticker motivation charts PP mentioned. The most “punishment” likely to happen is a note home to you to work with her on it. If she won’t come around and the school is strict about it then, again, start looking for a different school that is a better fit. Again, you aren’t being “punished”, just have learned that the school isn’t a good fit for your child.

4. The 10 absence limit – this is just life and every parent who isn’t homeschooling deals with it. You vacation during school breaks. You schedule dentist/doctor appointments for after school whenever you can. My kids are 14 and 16 and only one has ever come close to the 10 absence limit in a school year when she got the flu twice. They just don’t get sick that often.

Ditto. And, if your child is getting sick that often, school absences are not your biggest worry and schools generally work with children who have chronic health issues to provide make-up work and, if you switched to a public school, they'd likely provide a home-visit teacher for a child who has to have long illness-related absences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You definitely have an anxiety issue and should get help with that. The always needing to be in control, always being extra early for things, catastrophic thinking, definitely cry out anxiety. If the therapist you tried before was not helpful, try someone else. Sometimes it takes a couple tries to find a good fit.

As to managing your anxiety in the meantime…

1. Talk to the school to explain your concerns about base closings that might impact being on time/getting there at all. Ask them how can you best handle that? If they say it’s a big problem and if you are late because of that more than x times you are getting kicked out well, then, time to start looking for a different school that will be more accommodating. You aren’t being “punished”, it’s just that you have learned that the school isn’t a good fit with your lifestyle.

2. Having to arrive in a 10-min window when you like to be 20 min+ early for things. Just be 20 min early and park on a neighborhood street nearby. Use the time to read or talk with your DD.

3. Uniform issues – if she’s taking it off at school, the teacher will deal with it. She will see other kids wearing it and probably adapt eventually. Try the sticker motivation charts PP mentioned. The most “punishment” likely to happen is a note home to you to work with her on it. If she won’t come around and the school is strict about it then, again, start looking for a different school that is a better fit. Again, you aren’t being “punished”, just have learned that the school isn’t a good fit for your child.

4. The 10 absence limit – this is just life and every parent who isn’t homeschooling deals with it. You vacation during school breaks. You schedule dentist/doctor appointments for after school whenever you can. My kids are 14 and 16 and only one has ever come close to the 10 absence limit in a school year when she got the flu twice. They just don’t get sick that often.

OP, you should listen to this poster. You need to find another therapist that you mesch better with. Your anxiety is completely out of control and has overtaken every part of you it seems. I repeat you need to get this under control, for your sake and for your child sake.

We don’t need to hear how everybody’s wrong and you’re right anymore you need help. This is only going to get worse.