Teachers - can you tell which kids come from wealthy families and which don't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a private school and from the perspective a student we could easily tell who had more money and who was on a lot of financial aid. You see things like the cars dropping the kids off, the clothing, the numbers of expensive labels (North Face was all the rage so having not one but multiple ones marked you out as more affluent), and references to vacations. Most of us were more similar than not, in the "middle" with slight gradations either way, but some did stand out. This was pre-phones as I graduated in the 1990s. I would also say it generally didn't make much of a difference at my school. We were all friends regardless of family incomes.

I'd be quite surprised if teachers didn't notice income disparities. But I don't think the teachers would care, would they? If anything they'd be more likely to be sympathetic to the lower income students, methinks.

Elementary teacher here. Actually, I don't really notice income disparities between my students and I'm guessing that's probably typical among teachers. Sometimes, I happen to know something about the family, so I might know they are wealthy, or a kid might mention something about going to their vacation house. But for the most part the income differences aren't really obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher in a lower income area. I can't always tell who is lower middle income and who is really poor. But I can tell which families talk with and read to their children. I can tell which families read the newsletters and try and do some of the homework with their kids. I can tell which families do something other than just sit their kids in front of the TV or not. I can tell which ones teach their kids manners, to say please and thank you, to wait patiently. Manners, work ethic, and reading don't take a lot of money.

Fwiw, I'd rather work with the families in my school over the upper income families right in the same boundaries who avoid our school and send them to private school. I love my students

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean it’s not hard to guess. If your kid has AirPods, mentions going to Dubai on spring break and Morocco over the summer, has a Fjallraven backpack, etc., I can reasonably assume the parents are fairly well off. Those are the easy ones to guess but there are a decent number of kids who wear old ratty clothes and look like a mess but their parents have tons of money. You wouldn’t necessarily know it to look at them because well to do white kids have the option of looking uncared for as a style choice knowing it won’t reflect on their parents and culture the way it does for minority kids. It’s a lot more subtle with those kids.

I have subbed in low income high schools and many of the kids have airpods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I worked in a school with uniform, and that helped to even a lot of disparities[/b]. It helped a great deal that only a few models of shoes fit the strict requirements. However, the children’s conversations about visits to pricey restaurants, home remodeling, vacations and extracurriculars (travel teams, horseback riding) sometimes tipped off that they had greater wealth. Nor could we control the Tiffany baubles that some girls wore. Some children would speak about their parents professions, business acquisitions, or media appearances outright. The lack of busing in private schools is certainly an issue because we definitely see the very pricey vehicles in the carpool line. However, not every minivan-driving parent or public bus-riding child comes from a family without a lot of money. I have learned over time that there are subtle signs that a child probably comes from a family with lower means. Even in a school that provides laptops to children, we can’t guarantee that there will be reliable internet access at home for homework. If a student had a creative excuse about a web-based assignment being late, I didn’t ask probing questions. I also noticed certain patterns around food — the quality and amount that kids would bring to school.

Though DC certainly is a city with a lot of wealth, there are plenty of families in the middle. There are also many who have the money but don’t spend like it (and others who spend far beyond their means). I think it’s fine to expose your kid to differences and to teach tact, discretion, and empathy from an early age.

I don't feel that clothes are as much of a disparity as they were when I was growing up in the 80's. Back then rich kids definitely dressed better. Now clothes are relatively less expensive than they used to be, and you can exclusively buy clothes from Target and look cute and stylish. Really, I can't tell that a kid is "poor" simply by how they are dressed, which wasn't true not too long ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]I worked in a school with uniform, and that helped to even a lot of disparities[/b]. It helped a great deal that only a few models of shoes fit the strict requirements. However, the children’s conversations about visits to pricey restaurants, home remodeling, vacations and extracurriculars (travel teams, horseback riding) sometimes tipped off that they had greater wealth. Nor could we control the Tiffany baubles that some girls wore. Some children would speak about their parents professions, business acquisitions, or media appearances outright. The lack of busing in private schools is certainly an issue because we definitely see the very pricey vehicles in the carpool line. However, not every minivan-driving parent or public bus-riding child comes from a family without a lot of money. I have learned over time that there are subtle signs that a child probably comes from a family with lower means. Even in a school that provides laptops to children, we can’t guarantee that there will be reliable internet access at home for homework. If a student had a creative excuse about a web-based assignment being late, I didn’t ask probing questions. I also noticed certain patterns around food — the quality and amount that kids would bring to school.

Though DC certainly is a city with a lot of wealth, there are plenty of families in the middle. There are also many who have the money but don’t spend like it (and others who spend far beyond their means). I think it’s fine to expose your kid to differences and to teach tact, discretion, and empathy from an early age.

I don't feel that clothes are as much of a disparity as they were when I was growing up in the 80's. Back then rich kids definitely dressed better. Now clothes are relatively less expensive than they used to be, and you can exclusively buy clothes from Target and look cute and stylish. Really, I can't tell that a kid is "poor" simply by how they are dressed, which wasn't true not too long ago.

Not to mention that pretty much all of the girls, regardless of income mainly wear leggings and tees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean it’s not hard to guess. If your kid has AirPods, mentions going to Dubai on spring break and Morocco over the summer, has a Fjallraven backpack, etc., I can reasonably assume the parents are fairly well off. Those are the easy ones to guess but there are a decent number of kids who wear old ratty clothes and look like a mess but their parents have tons of money. You wouldn’t necessarily know it to look at them because well to do white kids have the option of looking uncared for as a style choice knowing it won’t reflect on their parents and culture the way it does for minority kids. It’s a lot more subtle with those kids.

I have subbed in low income high schools and many of the kids have airpods.

If you notice, sub, I combined that with other things. It’s not JUST AirPods. Also, you’re a a sub. How on earth do you know who is low income or not? You don’t get any student info. You get a printed roster and are told to watch them for awhile. You don’t know anything about them.

[Anonymous]

School counselor here. Teachers may or may not notice, but we don't think much about it unless there's a sense of entitlement (the kid doesn't pick up after himself) or complete neglect or total outsourcing to nannies by the parents. And even then, if the nanny is loving and the kid is cared for, we just carry on. It's more of a point to take into consideration when contacting home. As a counselor, I can tell you though that kids themselves are acutely aware of the haves and have nots, but it's the have nots who really feel it. Rich kids don't stop before inviting their friends on a trip to the mall to wonder, "would so and so feel uncomfortable and rather come over to watch TV because it doesn't cost money?" It's just not on their radar and they don't have that sensitivity. But over time, the kid who can't afford to go to the mall for a manicure, movie and dinner is going to drift to different social groups, or they're going to stop getting invited by the richer kids because they always seem to say no. So parents, here's my PSA: if your kid is a "have," raise them to think about how these little things might impact their friends who have less. A kid doesn't have to be downright poor to be unable to do a lot of things that upper middle class kids absolutely take for granted. I also notice this around sweet 16s and big parties--make these parties for your kids "no gift parties" if you truly want everyone to feel comfortable coming. Or do something like a book swap. Everyone is so used to thinking about sensitivity when it comes to things like race, but we totally drop the ball when it comes to socioeconomic status. Also, as a counselor who has been the one who stuffs those backpacks and distributes Giant gift cards at the holidays and makes sure kids have waterproof boots for outdoor education trips and gets families waivers on field trips because they have too much money to qualify for reduced meals but not enough to pay for that Smithsonian trip, I can tell you that teachers generally don't know as much as you'd think. I don't share that info if I even have it myself, and teachers never ask me. They're really not going to pry unless they have a concern about safety, hygiene, abuse or neglect. Your biggest concern should be the interactions with other kids not teachers.

[Anonymous]

I can tell who has a stable home life and who doesn't. That doesn't always correlate with income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean it’s not hard to guess. If your kid has AirPods, mentions going to Dubai on spring break and Morocco over the summer, has a Fjallraven backpack, etc., I can reasonably assume the parents are fairly well off. Those are the easy ones to guess but there are a decent number of kids who wear old ratty clothes and look like a mess but their parents have tons of money. You wouldn’t necessarily know it to look at them because well to do white kids have the option of looking uncared for as a style choice knowing it won’t reflect on their parents and culture the way it does for minority kids. It’s a lot more subtle with those kids.

I have subbed in low income high schools and many of the kids have airpods.

If you notice, sub, I combined that with other things. It’s not JUST AirPods. Also, you’re a a sub. How on earth do you know who is low income or not? You don’t get any student info. You get a printed roster and are told to watch them for awhile. You don’t know anything about them.

You seem angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of class anxiety on this web site in general and a lot of that is tied to the schools and people not wanting their kids to feel "left out" if all their classmates are wearing nice name brand clothing, have all the new gadgets, and travel to exotic locales every break.

But a lot of that stuff is so cheap nowadays (clothing, airfare, even electronics) that I wonder if it's even apparent to other people or if it's just something people worry about because things were much different in the 70s and 80s.

What do you think teachers? What is your experience on this?

Yes.

Rich kids rarely give presents, poor kids often have kind heartfelt presents and a little gift card.

Rich kids are more entitled.

Rich parents are more obnoxious, overbearing, entitled and rude.

Rich kids are more sloppy/lazy with their belongings. Trading sweatshirts, handing off iphones, loaning out apple ear buds - everything is replaceable.

Poor kids also often have normal pens/pencils, and take care of them, and the rich kids have the stupid $8 mechanical pencils that they lose every day.

I also almost always get class donations- like tissue boxes, markers, etc. from the less wealthy families and nothing from the rich families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean it’s not hard to guess. If your kid has AirPods, mentions going to Dubai on spring break and Morocco over the summer, has a Fjallraven backpack, etc., I can reasonably assume the parents are fairly well off. Those are the easy ones to guess but there are a decent number of kids who wear old ratty clothes and look like a mess but their parents have tons of money. You wouldn’t necessarily know it to look at them because well to do white kids have the option of looking uncared for as a style choice knowing it won’t reflect on their parents and culture the way it does for minority kids. It’s a lot more subtle with those kids.

I have subbed in low income high schools and many of the kids have airpods.

This site again reminds me how sheltered and dense DCUM population is.

I have taught extensively in DC and other inner city school systems, where kids have to wear uniforms because of income disparity, etc. You can ALWAYS tell the kids who only have 1 polo and 1 pair of khakis, and their polo is never washed because there isn't running water or a washing machine available at the shelter, and if they get paint on it one day in art class it's there for the next couple of school years. Then the more well off kids have an endless supply of shirts and pants, and accessories to demonstrate their prosperity.

I go to work 2 hours before the school opens with one of my admin, and we let kids come in and do laundry and bathe in the locker rooms. That's a difference so many of you have never even thought of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean it’s not hard to guess. If your kid has AirPods, mentions going to Dubai on spring break and Morocco over the summer, has a Fjallraven backpack, etc., I can reasonably assume the parents are fairly well off. Those are the easy ones to guess but there are a decent number of kids who wear old ratty clothes and look like a mess but their parents have tons of money. You wouldn’t necessarily know it to look at them because well to do white kids have the option of looking uncared for as a style choice knowing it won’t reflect on their parents and culture the way it does for minority kids. It’s a lot more subtle with those kids.

I have subbed in low income high schools and many of the kids have airpods.

If you notice, sub, I combined that with other things. It’s not JUST AirPods. Also, you’re a a sub. How on earth do you know who is low income or not? You don’t get any student info. You get a printed roster and are told to watch them for awhile. You don’t know anything about them.

You seem angry.

I sincerely dislike when subs who don’t know our kids try to act as if they do. These are human beings. Who is someone who maybe has sat in a room with them once and only taken attendance to judge them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean it’s not hard to guess. If your kid has AirPods, mentions going to Dubai on spring break and Morocco over the summer, has a Fjallraven backpack, etc., I can reasonably assume the parents are fairly well off. Those are the easy ones to guess but there are a decent number of kids who wear old ratty clothes and look like a mess but their parents have tons of money. You wouldn’t necessarily know it to look at them because well to do white kids have the option of looking uncared for as a style choice knowing it won’t reflect on their parents and culture the way it does for minority kids. It’s a lot more subtle with those kids.

I have subbed in low income high schools and many of the kids have airpods.

If you notice, sub, I combined that with other things. It’s not JUST AirPods. Also, you’re a a sub. How on earth do you know who is low income or not? You don’t get any student info. You get a printed roster and are told to watch them for awhile. You don’t know anything about them.

You seem angry.

I sincerely dislike when subs who don’t know our kids try to act as if they do. These are human beings. Who is someone who maybe has sat in a room with them once and only taken attendance to judge them?

The sub made an observation, not a judgment. You seem to forget that subs are human beings too. And a good observer with fresh eyes can see things in a room that someone who is there all the time often overlooks from familiarity. BTW, do you get printed information about which students in your class are low income?

[Anonymous]

I believe it's all about family life. Some kids in DD's public HS are well off, but parents don't care about their kids. Kids are struggling in school, because parents don't pay attention to them at all. These kids drive nice cars, but their grades are terrible. You have other set of parents that are just regular lower income, single parent, MC, or even UMC and they have a good family life and kids do well in school. You see these kids drive hand me down cars (old Fords, Volvos, Toyotas). I personally accept any friend my DD hangs out with, regardless of parents and their income. As long as the kid is nice, polite, and no alcohol/drugs are being consumed....you're good in my book. Some of these kids are taking in AP/honors, some are just in regular academic classes. The kids really don't care about income levels of their friends' parents. They just want to be accepted and understood.

[Anonymous]

The difference between rich and poor kids is whether they think about the future. The poor kids tend to be more present-oriented.