Mother's Day Failure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So … you call him "thing two," you are in a family that is not big on holidays (because that's what you modeled so that's what your children learned), you drag your son into a store and then YOU become disgruntled because he doesn't fawn over something you like, and then you lost it with him … and now you're acting like everyone is against you? Lady, you've got some problems and those problems aren't your kid.

Well, I didn't want to be so mean about it, but this PP makes excellent points. Unless your teen literally had a meltdown in the store, I'm not quite sure why you escalated this.

These two posters are weird, OP.

You probably (as you admitted) overreacted to some building frustration that you hadn't previously expressed about how "entitled" and ungrateful your kid was being. This is pretty much standard middle class or upper middle class teen behavior. Teens in this circumstance have no REAL worry crises...(as in--they aren't worried about where they are going to sleep tonight, whether they will be hungry during school tomorrow b/c no food in the house, or whether they will have clean clothes b/c the water was turned off again so the family could pay the light bill instead.) But all teens have angst that they are dealing with b/c this is the time of life that they go INTO themselves and it's all about them. Until you remind them that actually...it isn't. But it's a lesson. It's not innate at this stage of development to care about what others want or acknowledge parent sacrifices or their own privilege. It has to be taught.

But his reaction to it is manipulative. He is still making the situation all about him.

OP, you need to tell your son "Here is the issue with your reaction. I am unhappy with how you BEHAVED today b/c your actions today were pretty thoughtless. But this doesn't mean I have lost hope for you as a person, and you shouldn't either." Explain that his reacting this way isn't healthy for his own self-worth...which you care about. But it also is another way he is making the situation about HIM when he ought to be saying "sorry, Mom...I'll try to be more thoughtful next time" and that would be the end of it.

Instead, he's focused on self-flogging but it's likely b/c he wants you to feel sorry for him instead of address the issue of his own selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So … you call him "thing two," you are in a family that is not big on holidays (because that's what you modeled so that's what your children learned), you drag your son into a store and then YOU become disgruntled because he doesn't fawn over something you like, and then you lost it with him … and now you're acting like everyone is against you? Lady, you've got some problems and those problems aren't your kid.

+1 you lost it for no reason, so then your son then also lost it for no reason.

You need to go apologize for your outburst. No wonder your son got upset.

+1 for both of these responses but the "thing two" really bothers me.

Please take a pill regarding the “Thing 2” comment. It’s a reference to “The Cat in the Hat.” Growing up, my siblings and I loved it when our dad read that to us. He would lovingly refer to us as “Thing 1, Thing 2...” (I am the oldest of 6.) We’re all adults now, and he will still say it from time to time. No one takes offense. It’s a term of endearment. I didn’t take any offense reading it when OP wrote it.

Just b/c it didn't offend you doesn't mean it wasn't offensive. And it's not a "term or endearment" to most people based on the reaction it got on this post.

Ummm....just b/c you or others didn't get the reference doesn't mean it's NOT a "term of endearment" to those who use it. Bizarre.
And I suspect that OP used it simply as a cute way to identify her 2nd child on this anonymous forum instead of saying DC2. BTW...Thing 1 and Thing 2 is still a "thing"...check on ETSY and you'll see a bazillion versions of this in onesies and toddler tees. It's meant to be funny and cute. Relax.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP who pointed out that the "I'm a terrible person! I never think of others!" wailing reaction is a little gross and self-indulgent. Like he's pretending to be sorry for being so selfish, but the reaction itself (at least what he's saying!) is still so self focused that he's completely missed the point!