Mother's Day Failure

[Anonymous]

Your post is hard to read and understand, but it sounds like you expected attention/special treatment and didn’t communicate that, and when you didn’t get it, you threw a fit and insulted the character of your already depressed and suicidal teen, and now you’re frustrated that he’s upset and doubting his self worth, so you came to us for validation.

I can see why your children are struggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So … you call him "thing two," you are in a family that is not big on holidays (because that's what you modeled so that's what your children learned), you drag your son into a store and then YOU become disgruntled because he doesn't fawn over something you like, and then you lost it with him … and now you're acting like everyone is against you? Lady, you've got some problems and those problems aren't your kid.

You are so out of line I can't even begin. Well, let me try. First of all, you have some serious drama and comprehension issues. You clearly can't read critically. Also, let me just say you are a little too high on your horse. I would bet you $1000 you don't even have kids.

You're a mess and should not comment on thread regarding things you: 1. don't understand, 2. have no real experience in 3. have to do with empathizing with someone who is struggling.

Take your vitriol and judgement to the political or beauty forums. Bye Felicia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post is hard to read and understand, but it sounds like you expected attention/special treatment and didn’t communicate that, and when you didn’t get it, you threw a fit and insulted the character of your already depressed and suicidal teen, and now you’re frustrated that he’s upset and doubting his self worth, so you came to us for validation.

I can see why your children are struggling.

What???? “Attention/ Special treatment?” You have some serious comprehension problems.

Sounds like she wanted to stop in a store for a few minutes to look at something for herself. Rather than simply occupy himself for a few minutes, he acted like a jackass. They had just gone to the movies and visited a store he wanted. But he couldn’t handle mom taking a couple of minutes looking at something in a store.

[Anonymous]

OP here -
(1) I do talk with a therapist - comes with the territory when you have kids with anxiety. Thinking I may need a new one, as she doesn't help me as much as she did in the past.
(2) Thank you for the constructive comments - maybe I expected too much from him, but this is a pattern of behavior for him. He gets what he wants but has little patience when others want the same.
(3) I am by no means a perfect parent but have been trying my best for many years to be the best parent I can be.
(4) And politefully screw you to those who lambasted me and said I was the root of all evil. Looking for support/help and that's what you could offer? I should know better.
(5) I do think social media's portrayal of life as being all roses and rainbows has had a lot to do with the uptick in anxiety in this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -
(1) I do talk with a therapist - comes with the territory when you have kids with anxiety. Thinking I may need a new one, as she doesn't help me as much as she did in the past.
(2) Thank you for the constructive comments - maybe I expected too much from him, but this is a pattern of behavior for him. He gets what he wants but has little patience when others want the same.
(3) I am by no means a perfect parent but have been trying my best for many years to be the best parent I can be.
(4) And politefully screw you to those who lambasted me and said I was the root of all evil. Looking for support/help and that's what you could offer? I should know better.
(5) I do think social media's portrayal of life as being all roses and rainbows has had a lot to do with the uptick in anxiety in this world.

Hyperbolic much? There is not a single post that says anything like #4. I went back and read them all. Although the fact that you included it is a clear indicator that you do need to do what you say in #1 because you are so up inside yourself that you're having trouble accepting any of the constructive criticism you've received here. As far as #2 goes, perhaps you should begin to think that he is being let down by you because of your continuing pattern of behavior. Look at how irrational and impatient you became because he was bored. If anything your posts are become more strident. It has been almost 24 hours. You should be over this by now.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is clear from your post that you were already at the end of your rope with everything going on in your life before you guys stepped in to the store. He sounds like a normal teenager in that he was thinking about what he wanted at the store and not what his parents might like.

You are raw and you blew up, but this is on you and not about his behavior.

I think getting a new therapist or maybe taking some kind of antidepressant would be helpful. You also may get more targeted responses if you post this in the s/n forum.

I'm sorry you are going through all of this with your family now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is clear from your post that you were already at the end of your rope with everything going on in your life before you guys stepped in to the store. He sounds like a normal teenager in that he was thinking about what he wanted at the store and not what his parents might like.

You are raw and you blew up, but this is on you and not about his behavior.

I think getting a new therapist or maybe taking some kind of antidepressant would be helpful. You also may get more targeted responses if you post this in the s/n forum.

I'm sorry you are going through all of this with your family now.

Well said, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they were out shopping and he complained when she was browsing at a store he wasn't interested in.

Which teen boy wants to go shopping with his mother? A few of them are truly decent humans and don't complain much, but most do and that's normal. Remind them of their manners and keep on doing exactly what you wanted to do.

I think that’s the point. It’s something OP wanted to do for a few minutes. In the course of a day that was all about his wants, he couldn’t be polite while they did something she wanted for a few minutes. This would be rude anytime, but on Mother’s Day? It’s really bad.

[Anonymous]

First of all, it's not Mother's Day weekend, but I see you are frustrated.

You don't mention how old your child is, but most kids deal with life a little better when you give a little head's up about expectations. For example: "Tim, I just spent the last few hours with you at the movie theater. I now need to go into X store for 10 minutes and need you to cooperate. Thank you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So … you call him "thing two," you are in a family that is not big on holidays (because that's what you modeled so that's what your children learned), you drag your son into a store and then YOU become disgruntled because he doesn't fawn over something you like, and then you lost it with him … and now you're acting like everyone is against you? Lady, you've got some problems and those problems aren't your kid.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, we have been having a stressful time at home lately. I have been stretched very thin trying to make sure that both kids are ok....and by okay, I mean not suicidal, being able to go outside, get to therapists, take meds/supplements/etc...to help with anxiety and depression, get to activities, see friends. Have had some hiccups.

Family not always big into "doing it up" for holidays...mothers day included. We are at a gift shop with thing two today and it is all about him. Cannot bother looking at what I like. Mind you this is after his father took him to the movies and we just went to a store he enjoyed....

I lost it.

Probably too much.

Now said kid is upstairs...Leave me alone. I am terrible person. I never think of others. Sobbing.

And I feel awful.

I cannot f*&^ing win.

Let him be. He’s right.

[Anonymous]

OP, please be kind to yourself. I find parenting teens to be difficult and the most stressful thing I have ever done. This will blow over. Please get some fresh air today and spend time finding your peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, we have been having a stressful time at home lately. I have been stretched very thin trying to make sure that both kids are ok....and by okay, I mean not suicidal, being able to go outside, get to therapists, take meds/supplements/etc...to help with anxiety and depression, get to activities, see friends. Have had some hiccups.

Family not always big into "doing it up" for holidays...mothers day included. We are at a gift shop with thing two today and it is all about him. Cannot bother looking at what I like. Mind you this is after his father took him to the movies and we just went to a store he enjoyed....

I lost it.

Probably too much.

Now said kid is upstairs...Leave me alone. I am terrible person. I never think of others. Sobbing.

And I feel awful.

I cannot f*&^ing win.

Huh? Your kid(s) have anxiety and maybe suicidal and you are calling him "thing two" and lost your temper it at him because he was looking at items he likes in a shop he enjoys - rather than thinking of you? Really?? He's a teen boy, of course he's going to look at things he enjoys and may be a little self-centered. So what? Poor kid!
My teen boys are sweet, thriving (i.e. no problems) and I am busy helping the 15 year old w/ studying today as he has big exams next week - he wished me happy mother's day this morning and gave me a hug. My 17 year old was happily working on his bike earlier and has now gone to a friends. He didn't say anything because he doesn't even realize it is mother's day. I didn't mention it to him because my priority today is supporting my 15 yr old and I don't care about it.
Your son is sobbing, upset that he didn't think of you? He's a sweetheart, treat him like one. Why are you even mad? I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So … you call him "thing two," you are in a family that is not big on holidays (because that's what you modeled so that's what your children learned), you drag your son into a store and then YOU become disgruntled because he doesn't fawn over something you like, and then you lost it with him … and now you're acting like everyone is against you? Lady, you've got some problems and those problems aren't your kid.

+1.

+2
feeling concerned about your son who has anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Don’t call your child “thing”. That’s not ok. You lost me there.

Also my god woman, what are your expectations? They seem very high.