Red shirting, again.

[Anonymous]

I am sure the poster would prefer to pick her child's classmates in a line-up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are redshirting your child, then you have displayed absolutely no maturity at all...

How so?

[Anonymous]

Actually, the PP has a point. While I certainly hope that she would not put an eight year old in K, what's to stop her? What's to stop people from having their kids start K at even 10 years old, if they feel like it? Obviously, that would not be a level playing field for my DC who will be five, when he starts K in the fall. And I would hate for him to feel inferior both developmentally and intellectually because he is being compared to kindergartners who are old enough to be in the first, second or third grade.

Anonymous wrote:Actually, my child and I would BOTH be cheating...that was my point. And of course, he would be at the top of the pack--he would be older than everybody else. You're already cheating by holding your child back one year, why should you care if I hold my child back three years? After all, cheating is cheating.

Anonymous wrote:A little sensitive aren't you?

I'm thinking about redshirting my child until he's eight years old and then putting him in Kindergarten. And why not? Then I can embarrass myself by bragging about how my jumbo Kindergartner is SO much more advanced than the other children and has developed into SUCH a "leader". LOL! Slippery slope, people, slippery slope...
__________________________________________________________________________________

Go ahead and do so. I guarantee you he will not even be at to top of the pack!

You are not cheating but you WILL cheat your 8-year-old!

[Anonymous]

"The issue isn't summer birthdays. While I am not a fan, I can understand why parents 'on the line' would wait for June-August birthdays.

My issue is with the pre June birthdays. At our kids school, there are a significant number of December to May birthdays - from the year before.

This means that there are ranges of ~18 months between youngest and oldest kids in the class. 13-15 months is one thing, but 18 months is absurd.

I would hope that even the most ardent redshirting proponents would understand the complaints of those of us who are experiencing this firsthand. "

I completely agree with you and I'm afraid we could end up being one of those red-shirting parents. DS 2.5 has a significant speech delay. We are doing therapy twice a week, he is progressing, but he is getting farther and farther behind. He is way ahead in other areas cognition, fine motor, and social oddly enough. His receptive speech and vocabulary is very high but while it is early to diagnose his motor sequencing, and articulation is very off. He is also very tall for his age and doesn't have the baby fat ,95% height and 25% weight, so he looks at least a year older.

I have asked the county whether being in their program (connected to the school system) will result in being pushed to red-shirt. Their response is what we have feared and they encourage red shirting. I don't want him to fail in public school because the program is lacking to understand a child with a speech delay that scores way beyond the scales in other areas shouldn't be held back. Our Montessori preschool goes through K so we plan to keep him there and not transfer until 1st grade. I'm hoping we can go into 1 st grade without red shirting but if we couldn't afford the private Montessori for K I'm sure we would be pressured to red shirt him.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think it cuts both ways. Most people have never even heard of redshirting. When they see that a child is older than everyone else, they just assume that the child was held back because they flunked a grade or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, the PP has a point. While I certainly hope that she would not put an eight year old in K, what's to stop her? What's to stop people from having their kids start K at even 10 years old, if they feel like it? Obviously, that would not be a level playing field for my DC who will be five, when he starts K in the fall. And I would hate for him to feel inferior both developmentally and intellectually because he is being compared to kindergartners who are old enough to be in the first, second or third grade.

Anonymous wrote:Actually, my child and I would BOTH be cheating...that was my point. And of course, he would be at the top of the pack--he would be older than everybody else. You're already cheating by holding your child back one year, why should you care if I hold my child back three years? After all, cheating is cheating.

Anonymous wrote:A little sensitive aren't you?

I'm thinking about redshirting my child until he's eight years old and then putting him in Kindergarten. And why not? Then I can embarrass myself by bragging about how my jumbo Kindergartner is SO much more advanced than the other children and has developed into SUCH a "leader". LOL! Slippery slope, people, slippery slope...
__________________________________________________________________________________

Go ahead and do so. I guarantee you he will not even be at to top of the pack!

You are not cheating but you WILL cheat your 8-year-old!

I smell a stinky sock puppet, PP. You seem to be the only one who can't figure out how to put the quoted material first and your comments second!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow...there are kids in your DC's class who are 2 years older than everyone else? That's absolutely ridiculous!

Anonymous wrote:If you held your child back why do you think he will be at the top of the pack intellectually, academically, physically, socially etc?
Do you have any evidence?

My just turned 5 year-old in Kindergarten is at the top of the pack in his class intellectually and I would not have predicated this on the basis of chronological age! Evidence (teacher reports, working with long division and fractions at home, reading independently)

I am certainly not crying and mourning because there are boys and girls 2 years older than him in his class. Imagine how he would feel if a bitched and moaned because he was the youngest kid on the block. By his teacher's account he is not bullied ... in fact his classmates follow his lead.

I am much more concerned with mentoring and guiding him than calculating to beyond the second decimal place how much younger he is than his other classmates. What a waste of valuable time.

It can happen. Some (boys) with February birthdays, and a girl who turns 5 in November who is mature and allowed in, close to two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it cuts both ways. Most people have never even heard of redshirting. When they see that a child is older than everyone else, they just assume that the child was held back because they flunked a grade or two.

Good point.

[Anonymous]

Agree, you don't have to get too far outside the DC area to find communities that are not familiar with red shirting. They will quickly assume that something is wrong with the child.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP:

FWIW, my son IS in the correct grade as well per the MCPS guidelines --- he turned 6 in late September and is in kindergarten. While he's advanced based on the assessments they've done for math, he's in the middle of the pack for reading. FWIW, I was a little concerned b/c I thought he should be closer to the top given his advanced age but the teacher told me that generally speaking, it's the girls who typically are advanced with regards to reading and that boys develop those sorts of skills a little later than girls --- but that everyone seems to catch up and it all evens out in 2nd grade. And FWIW, what's wrong with being in the middle of the pack? My MIL has taught elementary school for 35+ years and she laments the fact that parents today don't recognize the fact that some kids are A students, some are B students, some are C students, etc. Most kids excell at something while struggling with something else --- and that's ok --- in fact, it's normal. I know DCUM is filled with type A neurotic helicopter parents, but I think that perhaps our kids would be better off if we took a collective deep breath and tried to feel comfortable with kids "doing their best" and then accepting them for who they are...and not comparing them to their classmates or passing judgment on other parents for redshirting or whatever. Parenting isn't supposed to be a competitive sport. Relax and let your kid enjoy his childhood --- bright kids end up doing well in life regardless of their report cards and standardized tests. FWIW, my kindergarten teacher was very concerned about me b/c I couldn't for the life of me use scissors. Nonetheless, here I am today, a lawyer in DC who somehow managed to graduate phi beta kappa and with honors from law school --- despite the fact that I couldn't cut in a straight line AND much to the chagrin of Sister Miriam Andre (my HS guidance counselor) who told me that based on my PSAT score I should perhaps look into a secretarial program (to which I retorted, "or I guess I could just become a nun.")(Yes, I was a smart a@# then --- and I still am --- and so is my kindergartener --- and that's OK with me.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it cuts both ways. Most people have never even heard of redshirting. When they see that a child is older than everyone else, they just assume that the child was held back because they flunked a grade or two.

Good point.

I agree. I've lived in D.C. for 20 years and I had never heard of redshirting before last month. My MIL in MD has been teaching elementary school for more than 35 years and when I mentioned the issue to her, she had no idea what I was talking about.

[Anonymous]

OP here. For some reason, folks get the impression that this is only about grades. It is not. I know that my child is fully capable academically, so I do not obsess about his "middle of the pack" placement. Also, I KNOW that he is young, so I am quite proud of that placement.

I am really more concerned about self esteem. At this age, a child does not give a hoot about who can read well and who can not. It is about height weight, and athletic ability wrt comparison among peers.

What is concerning is his reluctance to participate in sports. This may continue, as he is a bit meek and non confrontational. I have to admit that he prefers to play with 4 year olds. Will he always feel out of it? I don't see him catching up in size any time soon (this is a child who's predicted height is 6'0''). Time will tell.

[Anonymous]

Eventually parents who redshirt will have to explain to their kids why they were held back while their friends all went to K on time. Our son, who has what turned out to be learning challenges, could easily have been given the gift of time. His preschool teachers felt he should stay. He could have repeated K. We had him tested and sure enough, learning challenges -- something that none of the teachers ever raised as a possibility. It was clear to us back in preschool that this was a real possibility. You wouldn't know from looking at him that he has these challenges. He's very social etc., as well as very good at art and is athletic, but struggles with reading (never had any interest in learning letters, which was our first clue back in preschool that something was up). He was clearly asking back in preschool, "Am I going to go to K?"

Holding him back, because of the way schools operate, would have just delayed discovering his learning challenges. We had to go through a whole process before the school would agree to test him (basically going through various types of learning supports/interventions). Instead, he's getting the learning supports he needs, is with his peer group, and is fine. We're in Arlington and, interestingly, there are lots of summer b-days in our son's class and few, if any, red-shirted kids.

Parents whose kids aren't "ready" would do well to consider learning and/or social challenges and getting the help their kid needs, rather than red-shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eventually parents who redshirt will have to explain to their kids why they were held back while their friends all went to K on time. Our son, who has what turned out to be learning challenges, could easily have been given the gift of time. His preschool teachers felt he should stay. He could have repeated K. We had him tested and sure enough, learning challenges -- something that none of the teachers ever raised as a possibility. It was clear to us back in preschool that this was a real possibility. You wouldn't know from looking at him that he has these challenges. He's very social etc., as well as very good at art and is athletic, but struggles with reading (never had any interest in learning letters, which was our first clue back in preschool that something was up). He was clearly asking back in preschool, "Am I going to go to K?"

Holding him back, because of the way schools operate, would have just delayed discovering his learning challenges. We had to go through a whole process before the school would agree to test him (basically going through various types of learning supports/interventions). Instead, he's getting the learning supports he needs, is with his peer group, and is fine. We're in Arlington and, interestingly, there are lots of summer b-days in our son's class and few, if any, red-shirted kids.

Parents whose kids aren't "ready" would do well to consider learning and/or social challenges and getting the help their kid needs, rather than red-shirt.

VERY well stated. Agree totally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP:

FWIW, my son IS in the correct grade as well per the MCPS guidelines --- he turned 6 in late September and is in kindergarten. While he's advanced based on the assessments they've done for math, he's in the middle of the pack for reading. FWIW, I was a little concerned b/c I thought he should be closer to the top given his advanced age but the teacher told me that generally speaking, it's the girls who typically are advanced with regards to reading and that boys develop those sorts of skills a little later than girls --- but that everyone seems to catch up and it all evens out in 2nd grade. And FWIW, what's wrong with being in the middle of the pack? My MIL has taught elementary school for 35+ years and she laments the fact that parents today don't recognize the fact that some kids are A students, some are B students, some are C students, etc. Most kids excell at something while struggling with something else --- and that's ok --- in fact, it's normal. I know DCUM is filled with type A neurotic helicopter parents, but I think that perhaps our kids would be better off if we took a collective deep breath and tried to feel comfortable with kids "doing their best" and then accepting them for who they are...and not comparing them to their classmates or passing judgment on other parents for redshirting or whatever. Parenting isn't supposed to be a competitive sport. Relax and let your kid enjoy his childhood --- bright kids end up doing well in life regardless of their report cards and standardized tests. FWIW, my kindergarten teacher was very concerned about me b/c I couldn't for the life of me use scissors. Nonetheless, here I am today, a lawyer in DC who somehow managed to graduate phi beta kappa and with honors from law school --- despite the fact that I couldn't cut in a straight line AND much to the chagrin of Sister Miriam Andre (my HS guidance counselor) who told me that based on my PSAT score I should perhaps look into a secretarial program (to which I retorted, "or I guess I could just become a nun.")(Yes, I was a smart a@# then --- and I still am --- and so is my kindergartener --- and that's OK with me.)

Amen! Actually, as an over-achieving lawyer, I'm kind of relieved that my DC is, so far (although it's early) in the middle of the pack. I don't think the over-achieving part of my life has been that enjoyable. I'm kind of hoping she choses to be something other than a lawyer. She does have incredible social skills --which in my experience, are way more valuable than bieng "gifted' intelligence-wise.

Chill out, ladies! It's not a race!!!!