Husband is so hard on kids' sports

[Anonymous]

4th grader. Make DH stay home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband is HORRIBLE, not for expecting progress, but for criticizing instead of coaching, or paying for a coach. He cannot expect a child to magically divine how to get better. Certain kids need very specific and hands-on instruction and more practice than other kids.

He needs to accept who his child is and understand how to work with him constructively, otherwise he's just going to be one of these abusive and detested parents who never get visited in nursing homes.

My husband used to be this way, over academics, and I told him EXACTLY that. He backed off.

OP here. Well, the truth is that DH is actually willing to give hands-on instruction. He takes DS to do throwing/catching/soccer in the backyard all the time. Often, DS does not want to go and I can't blame him. For example, DH and DS were out at 7am in the back yard throwing today. But DH can't help himself and critiques just about every throw. So for every "better" or "that's good" there are about 15-20, "No, elbow higher!" "Glove in front, how can you catch like that?" "What are you doing, stop spinning your glove." etc. Like, DH feels he *is* being constructive and therein lies the conflict.

Your DH might be interested to watch a professional trainer work your kid out. I used to offer a lot of feedback to my kid when I worked with him on basketball. Then I started taking him to work with a trainer, and I noticed that the trainer would suggest corrections about once for every 5-10 times he said "good job." I saw several things that my son was doing wrong on the reps that the trainer said "good job", and I wondered why he wasn't correcting those. Over time, though, I realized that he was correcting one thing at a time and when one thing improved consistently, he moved on to something else but maintained the expectation about stuff that had already been covered. And, he usually did this without saying anything. For example, he taught my son to be low and showing his hands to get a pass, then after my son got that, he never passed the ball to DS unless DS was low and showing his hands. He wouldn't say anything -- he's just wait, with a neutral expression on his face until my kid remembered. My kid improved very rapidly working with this guy, whereas he didn't working with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much all the women in this thread are truly awful. Glad I'm not married to them.

I'm a dad, an athlete and a coach. You sound like a douche.