Difficultly adjusting after relocating from DC

[Anonymous]

I was a little shocked at the garishness and outward displays of money in the area you’re referring to. I didn’t see it as much in DC. I’m referring to the obnoxious labels on clothing and handbags and kids wearing 1k winter coats with fur etc. Its really tacky.

[Anonymous]

Stop focusing on diversity. Op, you can be put off by attitudes. Demographics are what they are. It does you no good to focus on the lack of diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop focusing on diversity. Op, you can be put off by attitudes. Demographics are what they are. It does you no good to focus on the lack of diversity.

Easy to say when you are not the minority or am slammed with ignorant comments about your background. I live in this same area and am also mixed race. Do you know how many times people have assumed I grew up in the ghetto or seem shocked that I grew up in a household with a normal mother and father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recently relocated with my family to a suburb in a flyover state. My DH and kids love it, me not so much at all. There is zero diversity both racially and economically. I am of a different race and background than everyone around me. I’ve never felt out of place in DC, but do here. Everyone is extremely wealthy or at least pretending to me. The majority of the moms stay at home and socialize via their kids. I’m still working and traveling back and forth to DC, socializing with SAHMs women is difficult. Just ranting I guess. I took the day off to attend a school function and literally 9 out of the 10 moms here has a Moncler jacket and Louis Vuitton Bag. There isn’t even any fashion diversity!

Change is hard. It will take time. And for some people a long time. You will get used to it and it won't feel as weird eventually. You will get to know some of those moms and their jackets and bags won't bother you anymore as much but just make you roll your eyes.

There are plenty of places in the DMV area where these type of moms exists and plenty of neighborhoods with zero diversity. Just acknowledge to yourself that you feel awkward, out of place and hate the feeling and feeling superior helps you deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop focusing on diversity. Op, you can be put off by attitudes. Demographics are what they are. It does you no good to focus on the lack of diversity.

Easy to say when you are not the minority or am slammed with ignorant comments about your background. I live in this same area and am also mixed race. Do you know how many times people have assumed I grew up in the ghetto or seem shocked that I grew up in a household with a normal mother and father.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a little shocked at the garishness and outward displays of money in the area you’re referring to. I didn’t see it as much in DC. I’m referring to the obnoxious labels on clothing and handbags and kids wearing 1k winter coats with fur etc. Its really tacky.

I know it's shallow but this really bugs me too. I think it's way cooler when wealthy people don't wear their money. All that "look at me and my money" business is gross. I immediately think less of them. The DC area does have some of that but not that much considering all the high income people who live here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a little shocked at the garishness and outward displays of money in the area you’re referring to. I didn’t see it as much in DC. I’m referring to the obnoxious labels on clothing and handbags and kids wearing 1k winter coats with fur etc. Its really tacky.

I know it's shallow but this really bugs me too. I think it's way cooler when wealthy people don't wear their money. All that "look at me and my money" business is gross. I immediately think less of them. The DC area does have some of that but not that much considering all the high income people who live here.

I’m from DC area and live in Highland Park. I’ve learned around here the more someone shows their wealth the less money they have. That’s pretty universal actually, but seems heightened here vs DC were power and position has more weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Stop focusing on diversity. Op, you can be put off by attitudes. Demographics are what they are. It does you no good to focus on the lack of diversity.

Easy to say when you are not the minority or am slammed with ignorant comments about your background. I live in this same area and am also mixed race. Do you know how many times people have assumed I grew up in the ghetto or seem shocked that I grew up in a household with a normal mother and father

Do you want to make things better? Offer information. Offer information about yourself right away. Should you have to? No. Should you have to live with bigoted people's assumptions? No. But it is what it is. If you don't want to be victim then tweak your communication -- for your own sake. Or is it easier to just complain? I have an MD friend, born and raised in Illinois. Went to med school in Illinois. She's clearly of Indian decent. She asked why people assume she's not from the US, with US med school credentials. Who cares whY? The answer to her problem is obvious, if it bothers her, when she introduces herself to patients she can it find a way to mention her back round. "Oh, I see you're from xx part of the country ... I've never been there. I grew up and went to med school in Illinois"

[Anonymous]

"Flyover country" is enormously offensive. Ironic that posters bemoaning the lack of diversity in other areas use that term repeatedly.

[Anonymous]

If you are in Evanston join the Woman's Club there.

[Anonymous]

Mean girls was based on a newspaper article from a moco school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m in the suburb that inspired Mean Girls. Politically it’s not too different than my friends and collegues in DC, it’s just the lack of economic diversity and interest in much besides kids social life and their clothes and husbands bonus.

I’ve lived in NYC by plenty of hedge fund managers etc, upper east side types so get it, but so far the people just seems so one dimensional here.

I am racially mixed (not black) but a whole bunch of stuff. Usually I feel like I can blend in anywhere, but here I feel like I stick out. Honestly, I’ve never felt this way. Not even in school. I feel like I’m going thru HS in my late 30s

This is an interesting distinction. Why was it important to note that you're mixed but not black?

Someone asked her upthread which race she was! She answered (sort of).

[Anonymous]

Are you all kidding me? MEAN GIRLS was based on a book, which was inspired by National Cathedral School, right here in DC. The book author was a teacher at NCS. Looks like you guys saw the movie, but didn't read the book.

See this article from Alexandra Petri, a NCS alumni:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2014/04/30/mean-girls-turns-10-today-i-was-in-the-book/?utm_term=.593feb01dd66

And this one from the NYT:

https://www.nytimes.com/2002/02/24/magazine/girls-just-want-to-be-mean.html

Another one even more clear about it:

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2002/mar/4/20020304-040739-2137r/

[Anonymous]

Rosalind Wiseman, for example, runs a nonprofit organization called the Empower Program, with classes in 60 schools. She teaches at the National Cathedral School, a private school in Washington for daughters of the rich, the powerful and the political. One class is devoted to learning how to apologize. (A few daddies and mommies could take or teach that one.)

The idea is to get the popular girls to become more aware of their "relational aggression" and say "I'm sorry," even if they really aren't. ("I shouldn't have called you a fat, ugly slut with a red, splotchy complexion. You're merely plump and flirty with acne.") What we have here is the creation of just what we need, a whole new class of victims, the object of the popular girl's viciousness.
The title of Rosalind Wiseman's forthcoming book, "Queen Bees and Wannabees: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and Other Realities of Adolescence," gives you the flavor of her themes.

[Anonymous]

Op, it’s hard to move to a new state - I’ve done it twice. First time my kids were young and I met some nice moms at school and the kids became friends so it was easier for me. Second move, the kids were older and found their own friends. The moms weren’t interested in becoming friends and I didn’t mind. I work from home so no office people to interact with in person. I had to go out and build my community and you can too. If you’re in a suburb, see if there’s a newcomers club. Look for charities to get involved with - in your town or in the metropolitan area. Are you at all religious? Find a church/temple. I’m not super religious but found a great community at my synagogue and am now on the board. You may not find racial diversity in your town but by getting involved you may find people who share your values and interests. By expanding beyond your town you may find more diversity.