Difficultly adjusting after relocating from DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I know what you mean. I’m in a suburb of Milwaukee so ppl aren’t as wealthy but there is very little diversity—racial or socioeconomic. We’ve been here 3 years and have genuinely tried making friends. We have made some friends but they are not very deep or meaningful relationships just people we like well enough to hang out with occasionally so we have some type of social life. It seems like almost everyone who lives here grew up here or nearby and has family and old friends here so we have always felt like outsiders. We can’t wait to leave.

Milwaukee, now that is flyover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the suburb that inspired Mean Girls?

I thought it was Winnetka. But Chicago isn't what I'd think of as flyover...

I’m from Chicago and am now in DC. It’s extremely segregated and has major race problems. Neighborhoods can feel like small towns in some ways. It may be a huge city, but has many qualities you’d expect from a layover state once you get away from touristy areas.

+1 - I'm moving to Chicago and looking at preschools in the city. All of the home pages have homogenous white kids in pics, they don't even pretend to have diversity. It was so startling to see. I've talked to several people in chicago about it and they've said there are black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods and that's about it. Its not like DC (which is far from perfect) in terms of having such a large variety of races / ethnicities / religions at least somewhat intermixed in many neighborhoods and schools.

And that's downtown, I imagine suburbs are even worse

[Anonymous]

OP, I’ve heard this exact thing about Chicago burbs. Mean girls, snobby, money. Sucks. I hope you didn’t buy a place. I couldn’t deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the suburb that inspired Mean Girls?

I thought it was Winnetka. But Chicago isn't what I'd think of as flyover...

I’m from Chicago and am now in DC. It’s extremely segregated and has major race problems. Neighborhoods can feel like small towns in some ways. It may be a huge city, but has many qualities you’d expect from a layover state once you get away from touristy areas.

+1 - I'm moving to Chicago and looking at preschools in the city. All of the home pages have homogenous white kids in pics, they don't even pretend to have diversity. It was so startling to see. I've talked to several people in chicago about it and they've said there are black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods and that's about it. Its not like DC (which is far from perfect) in terms of having such a large variety of races / ethnicities / religions at least somewhat intermixed in many neighborhoods and schools.

And that's downtown, I imagine suburbs are even worse

Consider Andersonville or neighborhood immediately as a more diverse place to live. Hyde Park may also work for you.

Among public elementary schools this one is interesting (a recently merged a predominantly white school with a predominantly black school; this was a parent-driven initiative). http://ogden.cps.edu/

Diverse preschool http://www.interculturalmontessori.org/ or https://www.ucls.uchicago.edu/program/nursery-school-kindergarten

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m in the suburb that inspired Mean Girls. Politically it’s not too different than my friends and collegues in DC, it’s just the lack of economic diversity and interest in much besides kids social life and their clothes and husbands bonus.

I’ve lived in NYC by plenty of hedge fund managers etc, upper east side types so get it, but so far the people just seems so one dimensional here.

I am racially mixed (not black) but a whole bunch of stuff. Usually I feel like I can blend in anywhere, but here I feel like I stick out. Honestly, I’ve never felt this way. Not even in school. I feel like I’m going thru HS in my late 30s

This is an interesting distinction. Why was it important to note that you're mixed but not black?

[Anonymous]

Well, OP, you’re basically pinpointing reasons that these people aren’t as metropolitan as you are: geography, ethnicity, career, handbags, clothing, etc.

Sometimes the problem isn’t through the window, it’s in the mirror.

The only person who can adjust is you. You can hate it, or you can make the best of it. “Fake it till you make it” really does work, even if only to degrees.

The more you focus on what you dislike, the more you’re going to find to dislike.

And I’m sorry, but people in metropolitan areas are plenty one dimensional, just about different things. The first question may go from what you do for a living, to asking where you live so they can gauge if your address up to par, but it’s really the same question. You’ll figure it out once you realize that you have just as much in common with these people as the people in DC. THe really interesting thing is you may not know what that is, until you break down your own assumptions a little.

Aside from that, you’re not even in that a remote are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m in the suburb that inspired Mean Girls. Politically it’s not too different than my friends and collegues in DC, it’s just the lack of economic diversity and interest in much besides kids social life and their clothes and husbands bonus.

I’ve lived in NYC by plenty of hedge fund managers etc, upper east side types so get it, but so far the people just seems so one dimensional here.

I am racially mixed (not black) but a whole bunch of stuff. Usually I feel like I can blend in anywhere, but here I feel like I stick out. Honestly, I’ve never felt this way. Not even in school. I feel like I’m going thru HS in my late 30s

This is an interesting distinction. Why was it important to note that you're mixed but not black?

From experience if you say you are racially mixed, most people just assume you mean part black. Happens to me all the time. Also being more racially ambiguous can add a different dynamic when you are in a very racially and ethnically segregated environment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the suburb that inspired Mean Girls?

I thought it was Winnetka. But Chicago isn't what I'd think of as flyover...

I’m from Chicago and am now in DC. It’s extremely segregated and has major race problems. Neighborhoods can feel like small towns in some ways. It may be a huge city, but has many qualities you’d expect from a layover state once you get away from touristy areas.

+1 - I'm moving to Chicago and looking at preschools in the city. All of the home pages have homogenous white kids in pics, they don't even pretend to have diversity. It was so startling to see. I've talked to several people in chicago about it and they've said there are black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods and that's about it. Its not like DC (which is far from perfect) in terms of having such a large variety of races / ethnicities / religions at least somewhat intermixed in many neighborhoods and schools.

And that's downtown, I imagine suburbs are even worse

Keep in mind, even the city is very ethnically segregated, it’s not just black and white...from Latino to Polish neighborhoods. If you move out to the burbs there are pockets of different ethnicities and religious backgrounds. Good luck finding different ethnic foods in area-you’ll have to go to those specific neighborhoods if you want it. If you can prolong moving, do it. Especially if you want your kids to experience real diversity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the suburb that inspired Mean Girls?

I thought it was Winnetka. But Chicago isn't what I'd think of as flyover...

I’m from Chicago and am now in DC. It’s extremely segregated and has major race problems. Neighborhoods can feel like small towns in some ways. It may be a huge city, but has many qualities you’d expect from a layover state once you get away from touristy areas.

+1 - I'm moving to Chicago and looking at preschools in the city. All of the home pages have homogenous white kids in pics, they don't even pretend to have diversity. It was so startling to see. I've talked to several people in chicago about it and they've said there are black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods and that's about it. Its not like DC (which is far from perfect) in terms of having such a large variety of races / ethnicities / religions at least somewhat intermixed in many neighborhoods and schools.

And that's downtown, I imagine suburbs are even worse

I know what you mean. My sister's children go to a well-regarded, private Catholic school (not a Diocesan school) and I am jolted every time I see pics or videos from their school events: ALL WHITE. And we are white too! But my immediately knee jerk reaction is always: "WHERE IS EVERYBODY ELSE????" It just really stands out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the suburb that inspired Mean Girls?

I thought it was Winnetka. But Chicago isn't what I'd think of as flyover...

I’m from Chicago and am now in DC. It’s extremely segregated and has major race problems. Neighborhoods can feel like small towns in some ways. It may be a huge city, but has many qualities you’d expect from a layover state once you get away from touristy areas.

+1 - I'm moving to Chicago and looking at preschools in the city. All of the home pages have homogenous white kids in pics, they don't even pretend to have diversity. It was so startling to see. I've talked to several people in chicago about it and they've said there are black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods and that's about it. Its not like DC (which is far from perfect) in terms of having such a large variety of races / ethnicities / religions at least somewhat intermixed in many neighborhoods and schools.

And that's downtown, I imagine suburbs are even worse

I know what you mean. My sister's children go to a well-regarded, private Catholic school (not a Diocesan school) and I am jolted every time I see pics or videos from their school events: ALL WHITE. And we are white too! But my immediately knee jerk reaction is always: "WHERE IS EVERYBODY ELSE????" It just really stands out.

in Chicago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m in the suburb that inspired Mean Girls. Politically it’s not too different than my friends and collegues in DC, it’s just the lack of economic diversity and interest in much besides kids social life and their clothes and husbands bonus.

I’ve lived in NYC by plenty of hedge fund managers etc, upper east side types so get it, but so far the people just seems so one dimensional here.

I am racially mixed (not black) but a whole bunch of stuff. Usually I feel like I can blend in anywhere, but here I feel like I stick out. Honestly, I’ve never felt this way. Not even in school. I feel like I’m going thru HS in my late 30s

This is an interesting distinction. Why was it important to note that you're mixed but not black?

From experience if you say you are racially mixed, most people just assume you mean part black. Happens to me all the time. Also being more racially ambiguous can add a different dynamic when you are in a very racially and ethnically segregated environment

Interesting! I am also mixed but a double person of color (so not part white). In my experience, when people say "mixed" they mean being white and something not white (whether black or otherwise).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the suburb that inspired Mean Girls?

I thought it was Winnetka. But Chicago isn't what I'd think of as flyover...

I’m from Chicago and am now in DC. It’s extremely segregated and has major race problems. Neighborhoods can feel like small towns in some ways. It may be a huge city, but has many qualities you’d expect from a layover state once you get away from touristy areas.

+1 - I'm moving to Chicago and looking at preschools in the city. All of the home pages have homogenous white kids in pics, they don't even pretend to have diversity. It was so startling to see. I've talked to several people in chicago about it and they've said there are black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods and that's about it. Its not like DC (which is far from perfect) in terms of having such a large variety of races / ethnicities / religions at least somewhat intermixed in many neighborhoods and schools.

And that's downtown, I imagine suburbs are even worse

Keep in mind, even the city is very ethnically segregated, it’s not just black and white...from Latino to Polish neighborhoods. If you move out to the burbs there are pockets of different ethnicities and religious backgrounds. Good luck finding different ethnic foods in area-you’ll have to go to those specific neighborhoods if you want it. If you can prolong moving, do it. Especially if you want your kids to experience real diversity

Chicago is hands down the most segregated city in the country. I grew up in the South way outside of Atlanta and lived in Chicago for a while and it doesn't even compare.

[Anonymous]

This makes me laugh because I live in Charlotte, NC and one of my friends recently moved to Chicago and she’s probably one of the people OP is referring to.

[Anonymous]

I was gonna say Minneapolis but there’s a lot of diversity there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the suburb that inspired Mean Girls?

I thought it was Winnetka. But Chicago isn't what I'd think of as flyover...

I’m from Chicago and am now in DC. It’s extremely segregated and has major race problems. Neighborhoods can feel like small towns in some ways. It may be a huge city, but has many qualities you’d expect from a layover state once you get away from touristy areas.

+1 - I'm moving to Chicago and looking at preschools in the city. All of the home pages have homogenous white kids in pics, they don't even pretend to have diversity. It was so startling to see. I've talked to several people in chicago about it and they've said there are black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods and that's about it. Its not like DC (which is far from perfect) in terms of having such a large variety of races / ethnicities / religions at least somewhat intermixed in many neighborhoods and schools.

And that's downtown, I imagine suburbs are even worse

Keep in mind, even the city is very ethnically segregated, it’s not just black and white...from Latino to Polish neighborhoods. If you move out to the burbs there are pockets of different ethnicities and religious backgrounds. Good luck finding different ethnic foods in area-you’ll have to go to those specific neighborhoods if you want it. If you can prolong moving, do it. Especially if you want your kids to experience real diversity

Chicago is hands down the most segregated city in the country. I grew up in the South way outside of Atlanta and lived in Chicago for a while and it doesn't even compare.

+1000. I’ve lived in there too. Michelle Obama’s book touches on this a few times