Thriving in neighborhood despite mean neighbors - give me hope

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used to live in a neighborhood like that. I actually ended up rounding up some other neighbors that felt similarly about the Mean Girl pack and we formed a book club. About six months later, some of the "mean girls" heard about it and wanted to join. I just let them know what the rules were for choosing books, hosting, discussions, etc... and they joined. We've all become reasonably friendly at this point.

I think it killed them that there was something "mom" going on in the neighborhood that they weren't in on. They still aren't my best friends but it's not weird for my kids to play with theirs at the playground anymore.

This is good advice. There have to be some nice people in the neighborhood you can approach. Book club, or it is a good time of year to invite a bunch of neighbors to an open house. A lot of people will drop by just to get to know their neighbors. Invite or don't invite the mean moms (it doesn't matter) but if you do invite enough people that if they don't show its still a good crowd.

This is great advice. Seek out and invite other moms who aren't in the "cool" group. There are always more of them than the popular "mean" girls, who are often living in fear that they, too, will be excluded if their children aren't in AAP, dressed in the right labels, doing well in sports....One stumble and you're out. That's how it goes with women like that. They exist everywhere. Moving won't help.

[Anonymous]

I'm white. Those who say being black has nothing to do with it are lying. I see groups of young white moms actively avoiding black families at the playground near my house. It disgusts me.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It is nice to know I’m not the only one who’s been subjected to mean girl neighborhood antics. I’ve let go of the idea of being friends with them, and am taking the advice to let go of the idea of the happy pack of neighborhood buddies for my kids. They do have other things in their lives, and happily ignoring rude/mean people is probably a good life lesson anyway. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm white. Those who say being black has nothing to do with it are lying. I see groups of young white moms actively avoiding black families at the playground near my house. It disgusts me.

+1

Agree. The mean moms that I know about are racist, among other things. You are not missing anything, OP. But yes, white moms also get shunned for no reason. I think the PP who mentioned that if they think you are happy, you are going down - has a valid point. None of the mean moms I know of are particularly happy - they are gossipy shrews. Who wants to be around that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound a little too intense, verging on insane. Are your kids the same? Kids don't like hard work / other kids who brag / don't listen well. Maybe you need therapy as a family.

lol the basic boring mean girl always shows up, ready to terrorize others rather than deal with their own problems

+1

SO obvious.

[Anonymous]

I second the unhappy gossipy shrew observation. I don’t think that fulfilled happy people need to exclude or gossip about others.

Op, just focus on living your best life. Hugs. I have a similar situation and it can really feel like middle school again.