Thriving in neighborhood despite mean neighbors - give me hope

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is "playing small"?

To be clear, I think it's terrible that they're excluding your kids no matter how they feel about you, but your initial description just reminded me of people I've known who would describe themselves as having "big personalities."

I understand what you mean, doesn’t apply here. They like to complain about their unhappy marriages and their finances ... a lot. My marriage is happy and we are financially stable. I never, ever brag or boast about my marriage or my job, especially around people who I know are unhappy, because I’d consider it insenstive to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is "playing small"?

To be clear, I think it's terrible that they're excluding your kids no matter how they feel about you, but your initial description just reminded me of people I've known who would describe themselves as having "big personalities."

I understand what you mean, doesn’t apply here. They like to complain about their unhappy marriages and their finances ... a lot. My marriage is happy and we are financially stable. I never, ever brag or boast about my marriage or my job, especially around people who I know are unhappy, because I’d consider it insenstive to do so.

I’m sure you don’t go around bagging about that. Are these overly sensitive people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is "playing small"?

To be clear, I think it's terrible that they're excluding your kids no matter how they feel about you, but your initial description just reminded me of people I've known who would describe themselves as having "big personalities."

I understand what you mean, doesn’t apply here. They like to complain about their unhappy marriages and their finances ... a lot. My marriage is happy and we are financially stable. I never, ever brag or boast about my marriage or my job, especially around people who I know are unhappy, because I’d consider it insenstive to do so.

I’m sure you don’t go around bagging about that. Are these overly sensitive people?

I dont think they’re especially sensitive, I think they actively resent and tear down anyone who’s happy.

[Anonymous]

To black PP Its not because you are AA it’s because Vienna is the home of some mean b****ches. Like PP have said people know that and smart people like yourself socially drive around it and seek out better people.
OP not all neighborhoods are wonderful and inclusive. Many are run by the mean girls grown up. Maybe you can find a nice one but if not move on socially not literally.
If you can avoid the school bus. That’s where the mean REALLY happens. GL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is "playing small"?

To be clear, I think it's terrible that they're excluding your kids no matter how they feel about you, but your initial description just reminded me of people I've known who would describe themselves as having "big personalities."

I understand what you mean, doesn’t apply here. They like to complain about their unhappy marriages and their finances ... a lot. My marriage is happy and we are financially stable. I never, ever brag or boast about my marriage or my job, especially around people who I know are unhappy, because I’d consider it insenstive to do so.

I’m sure you don’t go around bagging about that. Are these overly sensitive people?

I dont think they’re especially sensitive, I think they actively resent and tear down anyone who’s happy.

x10000000

NAILED IT. A thousand times, you nailed it, sister. :high five:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To black PP Its not because you are AA it’s because Vienna is the home of some mean b****ches. Like PP have said people know that and smart people like yourself socially drive around it and seek out better people.
OP not all neighborhoods are wonderful and inclusive. Many are run by the mean girls grown up. Maybe you can find a nice one but if not move on socially not literally.
If you can avoid the school bus. That’s where the mean REALLY happens. GL!

+1

Not just Vienna.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are these moms PTA moms?

OP here. Ha, yes. They are PTA moms/“class room moms” and we do live walking distance to the elementary school. So interesting that people nailed those details.

If you are walking distance from the school, why are your kids taking the school bus?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are these moms PTA moms?

OP here. Ha, yes. They are PTA moms/“class room moms” and we do live walking distance to the elementary school. So interesting that people nailed those details.

If you are walking distance from the school, why are your kids taking the school bus?

Op didn’t say that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are these moms PTA moms?

OP here. Ha, yes. They are PTA moms/“class room moms” and we do live walking distance to the elementary school. So interesting that people nailed those details.

If you are walking distance from the school, why are your kids taking the school bus?

OP here. Walking distance as a figure of speech. None of the neighborhood can actually walk there — it’s only a mile but have to cross a highway. Suburban.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used to live in a neighborhood like that. I actually ended up rounding up some other neighbors that felt similarly about the Mean Girl pack and we formed a book club. About six months later, some of the "mean girls" heard about it and wanted to join. I just let them know what the rules were for choosing books, hosting, discussions, etc... and they joined. We've all become reasonably friendly at this point.

I think it killed them that there was something "mom" going on in the neighborhood that they weren't in on. They still aren't my best friends but it's not weird for my kids to play with theirs at the playground anymore.

This made me laugh because I had a very similar situation that somewhat resolved through the same route. It’s weird how their insecurities just get highlighted when others start to ignore them and do their own thing.

Op, is there another family - even just one - that you could befriend that isn’t part of this crew?

[Anonymous]

OP you sound a little too intense, verging on insane. Are your kids the same? Kids don't like hard work / other kids who brag / don't listen well. Maybe you need therapy as a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound a little too intense, verging on insane. Are your kids the same? Kids don't like hard work / other kids who brag / don't listen well. Maybe you need therapy as a family.

This is uncalled for. Another Mom whose lived in such a neighborhood. Don't gaslight her. She has a valid concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound a little too intense, verging on insane. Are your kids the same? Kids don't like hard work / other kids who brag / don't listen well. Maybe you need therapy as a family.

This is uncalled for. Another Mom whose lived in such a neighborhood. Don't gaslight her. She has a valid concern.

+1

Gaslighting is par for the course for these people. You nailed it. What losers. Hey other PP, how about grow up?

I swear, people must really have been abused to be this awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound a little too intense, verging on insane. Are your kids the same? Kids don't like hard work / other kids who brag / don't listen well. Maybe you need therapy as a family.

lol the basic boring mean girl always shows up, ready to terrorize others rather than deal with their own problems

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is "playing small"?

To be clear, I think it's terrible that they're excluding your kids no matter how they feel about you, but your initial description just reminded me of people I've known who would describe themselves as having "big personalities."

I understand what you mean, doesn’t apply here. They like to complain about their unhappy marriages and their finances ... a lot. My marriage is happy and we are financially stable. I never, ever brag or boast about my marriage or my job, especially around people who I know are unhappy, because I’d consider it insenstive to do so.

I’m sure you don’t go around bagging about that. Are these overly sensitive people?

I dont think they’re especially sensitive, I think they actively resent and tear down anyone who’s happy.

x10000000

NAILED IT. A thousand times, you nailed it, sister. :high five:

This is the correct answer. These people exist, all you can do is stay for away from them and scoially move on.