Adult Son - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Again

His degree is in Geography/Urban Planning. He also has a certificate in G.I.S.

I second the "get a career counselor" stat recommendation. asap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Again

His degree is in Geography/Urban Planning. He also has a certificate in G.I.S.

Does he want to become a surveyor? Work in land use?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents making excuses for their kids here. It’s everybody else’s fault, etc. There are plenty of 24 year olds that have figured out how to live by themselves by now, I guess they made it happen instead of making excuses.

Not a single poster has made excuses for their kids. Yes plenty of kids work it out. Plenty more have significant parental help for years. What’s your point? This kid sounds like a good, hard-working kid in need of some tome to reset. Some of you are really harsh on the kids.

He's not a kid at 24. He can drink, vote, marry, and serve in the military all by 21. At 24 he needs to shit or get off the pot...read figure out his life.

If he has a degree in Urban Planning and GIS he should have been working and interning to get career experience and/or moving a central point where those degrees are needed.

BTW - a lot of architects struggle. It's not really field where people flourish, so picking it in the first place unless you're very good is a non-starter.

Fun study but big oversupply of architect degrees. Been that way for decades. One needs to network to break into the industry, the jobs are at private partnerships. He needs to pop in to some professors and brainstorm about some job tracks and companies. Has he had any relevant internships or coop programs in that industry.

City planning with more of an engineering tilt? WOrk for local or state government?

NP. Lots of armchair advisors here. News flash: Architecture and urban planning are different fields.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents making excuses for their kids here. It’s everybody else’s fault, etc. There are plenty of 24 year olds that have figured out how to live by themselves by now, I guess they made it happen instead of making excuses.

Not a single poster has made excuses for their kids. Yes plenty of kids work it out. Plenty more have significant parental help for years. What’s your point? This kid sounds like a good, hard-working kid in need of some tome to reset. Some of you are really harsh on the kids.

He's not a kid at 24. He can drink, vote, marry, and serve in the military all by 21. At 24 he needs to shit or get off the pot...read figure out his life.

If he has a degree in Urban Planning and GIS he should have been working and interning to get career experience and/or moving a central point where those degrees are needed.

BTW - a lot of architects struggle. It's not really field where people flourish, so picking it in the first place unless you're very good is a non-starter.

Fun study but big oversupply of architect degrees. Been that way for decades. One needs to network to break into the industry, the jobs are at private partnerships. He needs to pop in to some professors and brainstorm about some job tracks and companies. Has he had any relevant internships or coop programs in that industry.

City planning with more of an engineering tilt? WOrk for local or state government?

NP. Lots of armchair advisors here. News flash: Architecture and urban planning are different fields.

NP. COMPLETELY different fields. How does more than one person confuse the two? The GIS skills are the key if he wants a job in his major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents making excuses for their kids here. It’s everybody else’s fault, etc. There are plenty of 24 year olds that have figured out how to live by themselves by now, I guess they made it happen instead of making excuses.

Not a single poster has made excuses for their kids. Yes plenty of kids work it out. Plenty more have significant parental help for years. What’s your point? This kid sounds like a good, hard-working kid in need of some tome to reset. Some of you are really harsh on the kids.

If he was a good, hard working kid he could hold down a job in the restaurant industry, and even if he lost it he would have a new job in a few days.

Honestly, sounds like he is a lazy, unmotivated adult man who needs to leave his mommy's teet behind. Sounds like he has been blackballed in his city so wants to continue to mooch off his hardworking father (who is luckily smart enough to push back against it).

OP: it's time to let go. He is 24, has a college degree he clearly has no desire to use, and has also wasted way too much of your cash on said degree. Sounds like if he was my kid he would likely have been on his own at age 18 because of his laziness. You did far more then you should have and now have to deal with the consequences. It's a tough bandaid to pull but you have to before he is in his mid-forties and still mooching off you.

LOL. 1. did you actually read the thread? 2. this may win the "I'm projecting my own issues onto the OP" award for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents making excuses for their kids here. It’s everybody else’s fault, etc. There are plenty of 24 year olds that have figured out how to live by themselves by now, I guess they made it happen instead of making excuses.

Not a single poster has made excuses for their kids. Yes plenty of kids work it out. Plenty more have significant parental help for years. What’s your point? This kid sounds like a good, hard-working kid in need of some tome to reset. Some of you are really harsh on the kids.

If he was a good, hard working kid he could hold down a job in the restaurant industry, and even if he lost it he would have a new job in a few days.

Honestly, sounds like he is a lazy, unmotivated adult man who needs to leave his mommy's teet behind. Sounds like he has been blackballed in his city so wants to continue to mooch off his hardworking father (who is luckily smart enough to push back against it).

OP: it's time to let go. He is 24, has a college degree he clearly has no desire to use, and has also wasted way too much of your cash on said degree. Sounds like if he was my kid he would likely have been on his own at age 18 because of his laziness. You did far more then you should have and now have to deal with the consequences. It's a tough bandaid to pull but you have to before he is in his mid-forties and still mooching off you.

LOL. 1. did you actually read the thread? 2. this may win the "I'm projecting my own issues onto the OP" award for the day.

EXACTLY! I was wondering/thinking the same thing! The kid, and yes at 24 he is still a kid, sounds like a great guy and OP sounds like a thoughtful parent. The ^^PP on the other hand …

[Anonymous]

Let him move back in and start to get on his feet professionally. Think that the loos of the server job could propel in the right direction. By 24 the joy of staying in the old college town may be wearing off and he needs a new plan. As long as he gets a temp job and starts working on other plans, living at home is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents making excuses for their kids here. It’s everybody else’s fault, etc. There are plenty of 24 year olds that have figured out how to live by themselves by now, I guess they made it happen instead of making excuses.

Not a single poster has made excuses for their kids. Yes plenty of kids work it out. Plenty more have significant parental help for years. What’s your point? This kid sounds like a good, hard-working kid in need of some tome to reset. Some of you are really harsh on the kids.

He's not a kid at 24. He can drink, vote, marry, and serve in the military all by 21. At 24 he needs to shit or get off the pot...read figure out his life.

If he has a degree in Urban Planning and GIS he should have been working and interning to get career experience and/or moving a central point where those degrees are needed.

BTW - a lot of architects struggle. It's not really field where people flourish, so picking it in the first place unless you're very good is a non-starter.

Fun study but big oversupply of architect degrees. Been that way for decades. One needs to network to break into the industry, the jobs are at private partnerships. He needs to pop in to some professors and brainstorm about some job tracks and companies. Has he had any relevant internships or coop programs in that industry.

City planning with more of an engineering tilt? WOrk for local or state government?

My friends who got an urban planning BA/MA with a technical GIS specialty all went to work for private sector architecture firms. Urban planning jobs directly dealing with a city are a much smaller piece of the pie.

NP. Lots of armchair advisors here. News flash: Architecture and urban planning are different fields.

NP. COMPLETELY different fields. How does more than one person confuse the two? The GIS skills are the key if he wants a job in his major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents making excuses for their kids here. It’s everybody else’s fault, etc. There are plenty of 24 year olds that have figured out how to live by themselves by now, I guess they made it happen instead of making excuses.

Not a single poster has made excuses for their kids. Yes plenty of kids work it out. Plenty more have significant parental help for years. What’s your point? This kid sounds like a good, hard-working kid in need of some tome to reset. Some of you are really harsh on the kids.

He's not a kid at 24. He can drink, vote, marry, and serve in the military all by 21. At 24 he needs to shit or get off the pot...read figure out his life.

If he has a degree in Urban Planning and GIS he should have been working and interning to get career experience and/or moving a central point where those degrees are needed.

BTW - a lot of architects struggle. It's not really field where people flourish, so picking it in the first place unless you're very good is a non-starter.

Fun study but big oversupply of architect degrees. Been that way for decades. One needs to network to break into the industry, the jobs are at private partnerships. He needs to pop in to some professors and brainstorm about some job tracks and companies. Has he had any relevant internships or coop programs in that industry.

City planning with more of an engineering tilt? WOrk for local or state government?

NP. Lots of armchair advisors here. News flash: Architecture and urban planning are different fields.

NP. COMPLETELY different fields. How does more than one person confuse the two? The GIS skills are the key if he wants a job in his major.

My friends who got an urban planning BA/MA with a technical GIS specialty all went to work for private sector architecture firms. Urban planning jobs directly dealing with a city are a much smaller piece of the pie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents making excuses for their kids here. It’s everybody else’s fault, etc. There are plenty of 24 year olds that have figured out how to live by themselves by now, I guess they made it happen instead of making excuses.

Not a single poster has made excuses for their kids. Yes plenty of kids work it out. Plenty more have significant parental help for years. What’s your point? This kid sounds like a good, hard-working kid in need of some tome to reset. Some of you are really harsh on the kids.

If he was a good, hard working kid he could hold down a job in the restaurant industry, and even if he lost it he would have a new job in a few days.

Honestly, sounds like he is a lazy, unmotivated adult man who needs to leave his mommy's teet behind. Sounds like he has been blackballed in his city so wants to continue to mooch off his hardworking father (who is luckily smart enough to push back against it).

OP: it's time to let go. He is 24, has a college degree he clearly has no desire to use, and has also wasted way too much of your cash on said degree. Sounds like if he was my kid he would likely have been on his own at age 18 because of his laziness. You did far more then you should have and now have to deal with the consequences. It's a tough bandaid to pull but you have to before he is in his mid-forties and still mooching off you.

LOL. 1. did you actually read the thread? 2. this may win the "I'm projecting my own issues onto the OP" award for the day.

EXACTLY! I was wondering/thinking the same thing! The kid, and yes at 24 he is still a kid, sounds like a great guy and OP sounds like a thoughtful parent. The ^^PP on the other hand …

When does he stop being a kid? When he has a child? When he's 30? The infantilization here is serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents making excuses for their kids here. It’s everybody else’s fault, etc. There are plenty of 24 year olds that have figured out how to live by themselves by now, I guess they made it happen instead of making excuses.

Not a single poster has made excuses for their kids. Yes plenty of kids work it out. Plenty more have significant parental help for years. What’s your point? This kid sounds like a good, hard-working kid in need of some tome to reset. Some of you are really harsh on the kids.

He's not a kid at 24. He can drink, vote, marry, and serve in the military all by 21. At 24 he needs to shit or get off the pot...read figure out his life.

If he has a degree in Urban Planning and GIS he should have been working and interning to get career experience and/or moving a central point where those degrees are needed.

BTW - a lot of architects struggle. It's not really field where people flourish, so picking it in the first place unless you're very good is a non-starter.

Fun study but big oversupply of architect degrees. Been that way for decades. One needs to network to break into the industry, the jobs are at private partnerships. He needs to pop in to some professors and brainstorm about some job tracks and companies. Has he had any relevant internships or coop programs in that industry.

City planning with more of an engineering tilt? WOrk for local or state government?

NP. Lots of armchair advisors here. News flash: Architecture and urban planning are different fields.

Considering he has a job in precisely neither, he clearly needs some advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being in a new city would open up new job opportunities (career ones) since he would have a whole new set of companies to apply to.

He probably knows more people in the DC area then you think.

I would support him, with the caveat that he apply for professional jobs and do something to boost his resume. If he spends too much more time waiting tables he will never get a professional job. What is his field? Would he consider grad school?

WELL SAID! He is stuck and has exhausted his oppoetunities, and cannot stay there any longer doing restaurant jobs or he will be professionally unemployable. DC will be a fresh start with untapped opportunities. He also has the benefit of the entire tri state area plus he can apply for opportunities in baltimore then move there from your home. That's four regions rather than one which he already has exhausted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents making excuses for their kids here. It’s everybody else’s fault, etc. There are plenty of 24 year olds that have figured out how to live by themselves by now, I guess they made it happen instead of making excuses.

Not a single poster has made excuses for their kids. Yes plenty of kids work it out. Plenty more have significant parental help for years. What’s your point? This kid sounds like a good, hard-working kid in need of some tome to reset. Some of you are really harsh on the kids.

If he was a good, hard working kid he could hold down a job in the restaurant industry, and even if he lost it he would have a new job in a few days.

Honestly, sounds like he is a lazy, unmotivated adult man who needs to leave his mommy's teet behind. Sounds like he has been blackballed in his city so wants to continue to mooch off his hardworking father (who is luckily smart enough to push back against it).

OP: it's time to let go. He is 24, has a college degree he clearly has no desire to use, and has also wasted way too much of your cash on said degree. Sounds like if he was my kid he would likely have been on his own at age 18 because of his laziness. You did far more then you should have and now have to deal with the consequences. It's a tough bandaid to pull but you have to before he is in his mid-forties and still mooching off you.

LOL. 1. did you actually read the thread? 2. this may win the "I'm projecting my own issues onto the OP" award for the day.

Yes, I did read the thread. I read about an entitled brat that refuses (or cannot) get even a basic serving job to support himself so called mommy and daddy up trying to bully them into paying his rent after he got himself fired.

I worked as a server and bartender for 20+ years, through high school, college, and on the side when I got an actual job. If you have a pulse you would be hired on the spot. His blatent lie that he was let go is insane - I never saw a single server get let go in all my time working in the industry, you either stay on, quit, or get fired - but I probably saw hundreds come in and give a sob story about it. My boss would call their references and they would laugh in his face and tell him so-and-so wasn't let go, he was fired because he showed up to work high as hell on dope three days in a row.

Kid might need a couple months on the streets to realize he needs to find Jesus and get his shit together.