Do women have a hard time when they marry down?

[Anonymous]

AGREE.
Economic class. education, intelligence.
Don't marry down, Ladies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's easier for men to "marry down" than it is for women. That's why you see old rich guys with young, often uneducated, women. The opposite is less common. Even highly-successful, rich, women prefer to marry even richer men, if possible.

There are a million threads on DCUM started by women who are disappointed by their lower-SES husbands. They talk of "losing respect" for their husband's career trajectory or earnings, or apparent lack of refinement. Sometimes his "trashy" inlaws are a problem too. It seems like women are just wired to want a provider, even if they don't necessarily need one.

This is true.

Men don’t care about a woman’s origins or social status. Once married a nobody woman acquired the social status of her husband. And this is the problem. An UMC woman who marries into a LMC family will feel the loss in social status. Unless her LMc born husband is outstandingly rich and successful. Even then, redneck in laws and distant cousins can be a problem.

That's not true. Men may not care about how much money a woman makes, but they very much care about her level of education because no one wants a dimwit raising their children. And if they don't care about her family, they learn to regret it later.

Go look at the NYT engagement section and compare backgrounds and education levels of bride/groom.

The NYT engagement section is a well-known joke for status-obsessed twits. Of course those guys are interested in a woman's socioeconomic status.

[Anonymous]

AGREE.
Economic class. education, intelligence.
Don't marry down, Ladies.

What makes you think you are up? By economic class, do you mean that how much money your parents had when you were growing up? If your father had more money than a man's whose father was a war hero, does that make the war hero's son beneath you? What about if his father was in law enforcement, firefighting, EMS?

You likely count on people with lower wage/higher risks jobs (like an EMT) to save your life. However, marrying one, based your first two "factors" begin economic class and education, would be beneath you.

Sadly, you do not see how it would be beneath them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh come on people. It's TOTALLY about the money.

Any of you bitches would have married a hundred millionaire or billionaire even if he hadn't graduated from college.

Sure, as long as he was very smart and interesting to ME. The money is definitely a bonus, but it is not close to be enough...usually millionaires are not dumb (plenty of exceptions I am sure)...

This real estate dude you may have heard of, got elected to political office recently. Shouldn’t be licensed to operate a motor vehicle he’s so stupid. Dates porn stars. Is a millionaire.

Ahahaha! As I said there are always exceptions. Also, he can’t be as dumb as he sounds or they make him to be... come on! Impossible...
Usually if you made millions you were not stupid (unless you won the jackpot). If you come from money you may not be very smart yourself, but probably went to good schools and traveled a lot which might make up for some of what you lack in brain capacity. Of course there are exceptions, but it is easier to find a smart rich person than a smart poor person... this I am sure of

[Anonymous]

it is easier to find a smart rich person than a smart poor person... this I am sure of

You’re surrounded by pretty smart people who didn’t get to go to a nice college with Mummy and Daddy’s money. Stop sneering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

it is easier to find a smart rich person than a smart poor person... this I am sure of

You’re surrounded by pretty smart people who didn’t get to go to a nice college with Mummy and Daddy’s money. Stop sneering.

Of course! I never said you couldn’t. But my point still stand... anyway pointless to OP’s question. I am one of the PP that thinks that money is NOT important. It is a plus, but far from enough to make a marriage work. I married someone with less family money who is smart and have similar values. We are very happy. I do think you need to value the same things so if in my case education and intellect are important, I will not marry someone who believes differently (rich or poor)

[Anonymous]

I married down and am having a hard time. Neither of us makes very much money, but I make more than he, and pay most of the living expenses. I have a master's degree. He has an associate's degree. He is not particularly intellectual. He's a jock. He mispronounces words and uses incorrect words in sentences. I had to teach him how to dress. I wish I hadn't settled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married down and am having a hard time. Neither of us makes very much money, but I make more than he, and pay most of the living expenses. I have a master's degree. He has an associate's degree. He is not particularly intellectual. He's a jock. He mispronounces words and uses incorrect words in sentences. I had to teach him how to dress. I wish I hadn't settled.

You married a semi-literate jock and are embarrassed by him. Got it.

What the hell does your masters degree have to do with anything? It didn’t get you a job to support your desired lifestyle. Did you expect men with degrees to be attracted to women with masters degrees?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married down and am having a hard time. Neither of us makes very much money, but I make more than he, and pay most of the living expenses. I have a master's degree. He has an associate's degree. He is not particularly intellectual. He's a jock. He mispronounces words and uses incorrect words in sentences. I had to teach him how to dress. I wish I hadn't settled.

Sorry about your lost if female privilege.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a lot of sympathy for women who grew up in mansions with maids, being supported by daddy's money and are then frustrated that their husbands don't make enough to keep them in mansions and maids. None of that was ever necessary. The fact that they're "accustomed" to it is actually a moral failing, not just a preference.

[Anonymous]

So, what if the woman comes from a higher SEC (family money), with more education, and marries a man from a lower SEC (no family money) with less (years) of education? Doomed, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a lot of sympathy for women who grew up in mansions with maids, being supported by daddy's money and are then frustrated that their husbands don't make enough to keep them in mansions and maids. None of that was ever necessary. The fact that they're "accustomed" to it is actually a moral failing, not just a preference.

+1

Excellent point. To add, I don't understand women who can't pay their own rent (while single), then complaining about who they married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married down and am having a hard time. Neither of us makes very much money, but I make more than he, and pay most of the living expenses. I have a master's degree. He has an associate's degree. He is not particularly intellectual. He's a jock. He mispronounces words and uses incorrect words in sentences. I had to teach him how to dress. I wish I hadn't settled.

You married a semi-literate jock and are embarrassed by him. Got it.

What the hell does your masters degree have to do with anything? It didn’t get you a job to support your desired lifestyle. Did you expect men with degrees to be attracted to women with masters degrees?

+1

Nailed it. First PP, you wouldn't be happy, regardless, face it. Never enough money for you to spend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh come on people. It's TOTALLY about the money.

Any of you bitches would have married a hundred millionaire or billionaire even if he hadn't graduated from college.

+1

Agree entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

it is easier to find a smart rich person than a smart poor person... this I am sure of[/quote]

You’re surrounded by pretty smart people who didn’t get to go to a nice college with Mummy and Daddy’s money. Stop sneering.

-1

Don't be so sure.