I'm a gay teenager, Ask Me Anything

[Anonymous]

Hang in there, OP. My DD came out as lesbian this year. We live in a very liberal part of MoCo so it has been relatively easy at school, but she does have queer peers in intolerant families due to home country cultures.
1. Great resources at the Human Rights Campaign in DC.
2. Sometimes , I actually get better advice here than from PFLAG.
3. Keep up therapy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 17 and graduating this year

I've known I was gay since I knew what gay meant (I was 8)

I asked a boy out during my junior year and was outed, lost almost all of his friends

none of my family know

I don’t by that a boy lost his friends because he was asked out by another boy. That is in no way consistent with what I know about teens today. If anything, they tend to be overly performative in demonstrating tolerance and acceptance of gay kids.

OP here again, I’d like to think I know more about my own generation, considering these are the people I interact with for 7 hours a day at school and my job and at camps and sports than an adult.

It is a little odd, OP. My son is openly gay. When he came out he was 16 and we were living in a very conservative, small town in Alabama. Most people were supportive. He lost no friends. I think you simply needed better friends. Even in the deep South, most high schoolers are very tolerant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 17 and graduating this year

I've known I was gay since I knew what gay meant (I was 8)

I asked a boy out during my junior year and was outed, lost almost all of his friends

none of my family know

I don’t by that a boy lost his friends because he was asked out by another boy. That is in no way consistent with what I know about teens today. If anything, they tend to be overly performative in demonstrating tolerance and acceptance of gay kids.

OP here again, I’d like to think I know more about my own generation, considering these are the people I interact with for 7 hours a day at school and my job and at camps and sports than an adult.

It is a little odd, OP. My son is openly gay. When he came out he was 16 and we were living in a very conservative, small town in Alabama. Most people were supportive. He lost no friends. I think you simply needed better friends. Even in the deep South, most high schoolers are very tolerant.

It’s a shame that OP didn’t have as good experiences as your son but it’s not somebody else’s place to call his experiences “odd.” Some people are still homophobic. I anecdotally know of a few people in their thirties who live in DC and were totally accepted as gay in their conservative small southern towns (their families were often pillars of the community) yet there are also kids in blue states who end up having horrible experiences (think of that poor little eleven-year-old girl from New Hampshire who committed suicide recently due to homophobic bullying). Regardless I don’t want to normalize homophobia but I don’t want to dismiss OP’s experiences as some kind of isolated freak incident that doesn’t happen to other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 17 and graduating this year

I've known I was gay since I knew what gay meant (I was 8)

I asked a boy out during my junior year and was outed, lost almost all of his friends

none of my family know

I don’t by that a boy lost his friends because he was asked out by another boy. That is in no way consistent with what I know about teens today. If anything, they tend to be overly performative in demonstrating tolerance and acceptance of gay kids.

OP here again, I’d like to think I know more about my own generation, considering these are the people I interact with for 7 hours a day at school and my job and at camps and sports than an adult.

It is a little odd, OP. My son is openly gay. When he came out he was 16 and we were living in a very conservative, small town in Alabama. Most people were supportive. He lost no friends. I think you simply needed better friends. Even in the deep South, most high schoolers are very tolerant.

It’s a shame that OP didn’t have as good experiences as your son but it’s not somebody else’s place to call his experiences “odd.” Some people are still homophobic. I anecdotally know of a few people in their thirties who live in DC and were totally accepted as gay in their conservative small southern towns (their families were often pillars of the community) yet there are also kids in blue states who end up having horrible experiences (think of that poor little eleven-year-old girl from New Hampshire who committed suicide recently due to homophobic bullying). Regardless I don’t want to normalize homophobia but I don’t want to dismiss OP’s experiences as some kind of isolated freak incident that doesn’t happen to other people.

Agreed. I also believe that conservative people (or kids from conservative families) who live in fairly liberal areas tend to be a bit more "performative" about their conservatism. They feel like they are "under assault" all the time and feel the need to make a big stink about their conservative bona fides. Whereas if they just lived in a conservative area with lots of other like-minded people, they may actually be a bit more chilled out.

That said, parts of Alabama are very liberal and parts of Fairfax County can be very conservative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is fake.

I agree, doesn't sound like a 17 yr old boy.

[Anonymous]

fake news

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When are you going to tell your family (if ever)? Have you ever been suicidal?

I would like to think one day I will find somebody special that I want to tell the whole world about, and I will be brave enough to them when that happens. Keep in mind, I have never officially come out to anyone.

Yes, I tried to kill myself twice in December but not over being gay. I failed and was very angry but have gotten help since them and am currently in counseling.

Really glad to hear that you're getting help, OP! Hang in there!