I'm a gay teenager, Ask Me Anything
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Anonymous
Maybe he's taking comfort knowing he'll not be marrying one of us whiners! |
Anonymous
| OP, it will get so much better! |
Anonymous
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NP here. If OP is still reading, I believe your story and I'm so sorry to hear it. My DC came out in MS & lost all of their friends (I'm hiding gender there - that's deliberate). Now in HS, my child has new friends -- but like you, we live in a very liberal DMV area & this 100% happened to my child so I completely believe your story. I am very sorry you lived through that; it's so incredibly isolating to have few to no friends and to have others ostracizing you. I think that social isolation actually *is* bullying, in my opinion. Anyways, I am glad that your suicide attempts were not successful & hope you are getting some supports. Does your HS have a Gay Straight Alliance? A teacher at my child's middle school was very, very supportive during the time period that the friendships evaporated. Reach out to supportive teachers if you need help & also please reach out to suicide hotlines if you need them.
1-866-488-7386 The Trevor Project Hugs to you! There are many of us out here who are parents and friends of queer kids and we have so much love for you -- and are so sorry for your painful journey. |
Anonymous
| My hat is off to you and I wish you the best. My middle schooler came out this spring. It really forced me to reexamine our social circle. Mostly unbigoted folks who I would have labeled allies before, but amazing who said they didn’t understand my acceptance! It’s crazy how anyone could be “unaccepting” in 2018 (and yes, we’re religious). |
Anonymous
Most of the time it is not about accepting/non-accepting. I don't want to know about your middle school child sex life. I don't want to know about your sex life. Period. This applies even to my closest friends and family members. This is regardless to your sexual orientation. Stop discussing this with people, and people will be more accepting. |
Anonymous
If people don’t want to know, why do they jokingly ask if DC has a crush at school? The truth is that they only don’t want to hear when it turns out that DC’s crush is the same sex. You sound like those bigots who claim their only problem is with gay people who “flaunt it”, but you really just mean you are offended by holding hands in public. |
Anonymous
| +100 |
Anonymous
Nobody is discussing their sex life, much less a middle schooler who does't have one. But people should stop asking about boy/girlfriends and crushes if they don't want to hear about it if it's a same sex crush You sound like a bigot. At best. |
Anonymous
I think OP meant that he himself (the boy) lost the friends of the boy he asked out. OP, is that correct? Also, OP, I'm the mom of a child who came out to me when she was 8 and who came out at school this year (6th grade). I wish/hope that you will find the love and acceptable from your parents that you deserve. I don't know your country of origin/home culture, of course, and so I don't know what your parents may be bringing to the conversation (e.g., their beliefs). Are you comfortable sharing why you're not yet ready to tell your family? You've mentioned culture and homophobia. Is there a tradition of shunning? Have your parents made homophobic comments themselves? Do they know about the failed suicide attempts and how have they handled that? I ask because if there is anything I have learned in the years since recognizing DC is gay, it's that predicting others' reactions is impossible. In your case, I'd just want to make sure you have all the support you need, once you decide to come out to your family. Good luck to you and thank you for opening this thread: I promise you it can all be okay, even as I know it will not always be easy, and I hope you will find all the love and acceptance you deserve. |
Anonymous
Are you telling me that your friends or neighbors or colleagues asking your 12-14 years old about boy friend or girlfriend? How often did this happened? I am raising three kids between middle school and college age. No one ever asked me about their boyfriends/girlfriends other than two of my closest friends. And even with them, I would not discuss my kid's sexual orientation. It is not that I am not accepting or ashamed that my kids are straight, it is because it is not appropriate subject for discussion. |
Anonymous
| How did you know you were gay so early? |
Anonymous
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Are you telling me that your friends or neighbors or colleagues asking your 12-14 years old about boy friend or girlfriend? How often did this happened? I am raising three kids between middle school and college age. No one ever asked me about their boyfriends/girlfriends other than two of my closest friends. And even with them, I would not discuss my kid's sexual orientation. It is not that I am not accepting or ashamed that my kids are straight, it is because it is not appropriate subject for discussion. Honestly, PP, it's actually pretty common for adults who are close to our family to casually inquire about DD's social experiences (she's 14), including silly things like whether she has a bf or if there are "any boys who have caught her eye"...as a way of being chatty with her as a follow up to "how's school going?" and I know they don't mean to pry into something that is very personal and private. It's just that she is of that age where they remember having their first crushes and such and are trying to relate. I just know it hasn't occurred to them that her answer might be "no, but there are a few girls that have" This isn't her flaunting it. It's just her answering the question. And it can come up very innocuously. Just as innocuously as you remarking that Brad Pitt looks hot. Only my daughter might look at a movie poster and say the same about Selena Gomez. |
Anonymous
Are you telling me that your friends or neighbors or colleagues asking your 12-14 years old about boy friend or girlfriend? How often did this happened? I am raising three kids between middle school and college age. No one ever asked me about their boyfriends/girlfriends other than two of my closest friends. And even with them, I would not discuss my kid's sexual orientation. It is not that I am not accepting or ashamed that my kids are straight, it is because it is not appropriate subject for discussion. Honestly, PP, it's actually pretty common for adults who are close to our family to casually inquire about DD's social experiences (she's 14), including silly things like whether she has a bf or if there are "any boys who have caught her eye"...as a way of being chatty with her as a follow up to "how's school going?" and I know they don't mean to pry into something that is very personal and private. It's just that she is of that age where they remember having their first crushes and such and are trying to relate. I just know it hasn't occurred to them that her answer might be "no, but there are a few girls that have" This isn't her flaunting it. It's just her answering the question. And it can come up very innocuously. Just as innocuously as you remarking that Brad Pitt looks hot. Only my daughter might look at a movie poster and say the same about Selena Gomez.  Selena Gomez on a movie poster?? But her movies are terrible! 
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Anonymous
| Agreed, this is pretty typical conversation people would have by and about my two teens, one of whom is a boy, one a girl. "Is he taking anyone to the dance? Are there any cute boys in her school?" Its very casual talk but feels less casual if one of my kids is gay (which they are). Then it becomes an uncomfortable moment for 3 seconds. Most people are just surprised, not openly unaccepting or overly curious. I appreciate that. |
Anonymous
| I am a huge Beezus and Ramona fan, PP! So we might have to fight this one out.... |