I'm a gay teenager, Ask Me Anything

[Anonymous]

Thank you for posting, OP. You could help a lot of people.

What would you have liked your parents to do differently and/or how did they best support you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im 17 and graduating this year

I've known I was gay since I knew what gay meant (I was 8)

I asked a boy out during my junior year and was outed, lost almost all of his friends

none of my family know

I don’t by that a boy lost his friends because he was asked out by another boy. That is in no way consistent with what I know about teens today. If anything, they tend to be overly performative in demonstrating tolerance and acceptance of gay kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It shouldn't be offensive - PP said very traditional manly sports, football and hockey. Of the people that play football and hockey in the world, I expect 95% are men.

No need to learn to have every slightly non-PC comment/thought offend you - life is already hard enough as a gay teenager!

That being said, you've seen this site, it gets better?
https://itgetsbetter.org/

Make sure you don't commit suicide OP. It's a permanent answer to some temporary problems you're going through. Life as a gay guy is seriously awesome once you get into your 20s and 30s and live in DC - just ask any of my friends.

Well, it’s offensive because children are taught that sports are meant for boys and drama is meant for girls. That’s why men participate in those activities more. To suggest that certain activities are inherently meant for a certain gender demoralized the other gender to not participate. Does that make sense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for posting, OP. You could help a lot of people.

What would you have liked your parents to do differently and/or how did they best support you?

I’m not out to my parents

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's a cycle I guess. Women don't want to play hockey because most women they know don't play hockey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 17 and graduating this year

I've known I was gay since I knew what gay meant (I was 8)

I asked a boy out during my junior year and was outed, lost almost all of his friends

none of my family know

I don’t by that a boy lost his friends because he was asked out by another boy. That is in no way consistent with what I know about teens today. If anything, they tend to be overly performative in demonstrating tolerance and acceptance of gay kids.

I’m not trying to be rude, but you’re basically trying to tell me I’m wrong or making this up, when this is MY life.

Homophobia isn’t the same way it used as in gay kids aren’t getting beat up or harassed, but it’s not like everyone wants to be friends, especially straight guys. Straight guys don’t want to be seen with me because they fear people will think they’re gay or that I secretly want to sleep with them. Girls mostly don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 17 and graduating this year

I've known I was gay since I knew what gay meant (I was 8)

I asked a boy out during my junior year and was outed, lost almost all of his friends

none of my family know

I don’t by that a boy lost his friends because he was asked out by another boy. That is in no way consistent with what I know about teens today. If anything, they tend to be overly performative in demonstrating tolerance and acceptance of gay kids.

OP here again, I’d like to think I know more about my own generation, considering these are the people I interact with for 7 hours a day at school and my job and at camps and sports than an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it's a cycle I guess. Women don't want to play hockey because most women they know don't play hockey.

exactly, women are taught they shouldn’t play, so that’s why there is a disparity. To continue suggesting that hockey is for men is going to make a woman feel dejected and turn her away from participating.

At my school, some girls have joined the wrestling team, which is awesome. As a result, we’ve had increasing numbers of girls on the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 17 and graduating this year

I've known I was gay since I knew what gay meant (I was 8)

I asked a boy out during my junior year and was outed, lost almost all of his friends

none of my family know

I don’t by that a boy lost his friends because he was asked out by another boy. That is in no way consistent with what I know about teens today. If anything, they tend to be overly performative in demonstrating tolerance and acceptance of gay kids.

OP here again, I’d like to think I know more about my own generation, considering these are the people I interact with for 7 hours a day at school and my job and at camps and sports than an adult.

I have two teens and coach two teams and am a youth leader at church. So I know you would like to think something, but we all have our perspectives. I am sorry you experienced this but it still doesn’t track that another boy would be ostracized because you asked him out. How would they know? Why would that result in ostracism?

[Anonymous]

I think this is fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 17 and graduating this year

I've known I was gay since I knew what gay meant (I was 8)

I asked a boy out during my junior year and was outed, lost almost all of his friends

none of my family know

I don’t by that a boy lost his friends because he was asked out by another boy. That is in no way consistent with what I know about teens today. If anything, they tend to be overly performative in demonstrating tolerance and acceptance of gay kids.

OP here again, I’d like to think I know more about my own generation, considering these are the people I interact with for 7 hours a day at school and my job and at camps and sports than an adult.

I have two teens and coach two teams and am a youth leader at church. So I know you would like to think something, but we all have our perspectives. I am sorry you experienced this but it still doesn’t track that another boy would be ostracized because you asked him out. How would they know? Why would that result in ostracism?

I was in the closet. My friends were all straight guys. I asked him out through a text and even though I asked him to keep it between us, him and his friends took screenshots and shared it around the school, leading to me being out.

You can have two teens and be around youths in church but understand that people are supposed to be nice at church. Nobody is going outwardly say anything that isn't not PC nowadays but that doesn't represent their true feelings.

I'm telling YOU, once I was outed, my friends started acting strange around me before eventually removing me from their group chat and shutting me out. I was never harassed or attacked, but I was alienated from mostly straight guys. Girls and other guys didn't care very much, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is fake.

If you think me telling my story is fake, then leave, that's all I can say.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry that people are being mean to you. I hope you can find your way and I think that college will open up a whole new world for you. It sounds like you’re almost out of high school, right? Do you plan to go to college? I think you’d love a more progressive city where you can kinda start over. Can you apply anywhere near NYC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 17 and graduating this year

I've known I was gay since I knew what gay meant (I was 8)

I asked a boy out during my junior year and was outed, lost almost all of his friends

none of my family know

I don’t by that a boy lost his friends because he was asked out by another boy. That is in no way consistent with what I know about teens today. If anything, they tend to be overly performative in demonstrating tolerance and acceptance of gay kids.

OP here again, I’d like to think I know more about my own generation, considering these are the people I interact with for 7 hours a day at school and my job and at camps and sports than an adult.

I have two teens and coach two teams and am a youth leader at church. So I know you would like to think something, but we all have our perspectives. I am sorry you experienced this but it still doesn’t track that another boy would be ostracized because you asked him out. How would they know? Why would that result in ostracism?

I'm going to emphasize this again, there is a difference between accepting someone and being tolerant vs. being that person's friend

I NEVER got bullied or harassed, but these guys do not want to be friends anymore. Regardless of how far we've come, being seen with a gay guy too much starts rumors that you are gay too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry that people are being mean to you. I hope you can find your way and I think that college will open up a whole new world for you. It sounds like you’re almost out of high school, right? Do you plan to go to college? I think you’d love a more progressive city where you can kinda start over. Can you apply anywhere near NYC?

That's the thing; people weren't "mean."

They just started avoiding me. I was never bullied or harassed, I was just an outcast as in my friends no longer wanted to talk to me anymore. The only instance of homophobia was someone calling me a faggot, but that only happened one time.