Do men regret their divorces?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, early 50s, divorced after being married nearly 25 years. No, I do not regret being divorced from my substance abusing, lazy, cheating, lying, physically and emotionally abusive wife. I do regret that she turned into what she became. I didn't recognize her compared to the woman she was 30 years ago. I do regret that I am no longer with my children all the time. I do regret marrying her. I do regret that I allowed her to not contribute to the family. I do regret all the housework and chores and cleaning and cooking and laundry I did, after working a 50 hour week, because I hoped to appease her rage.

Men, there is hope! I now live in a clean home, I eat healthy meals, I have a little free time, and lots of women to date (ages 22-52!). But I still regret the lost years, the time spent hoping she'd pull her head out of her ass. I could have been with a decent woman the whole time.

i could have written the same story. i am free from an oppressive relationship. took to f'cking long trying to help her fight her demons. and being worn down with all the rejections, there are many many women to choose from, life is in color again.

I'd feel sympathy for you guys, but all of the men I know who married crazy chose the woman because she was good looking or "exotic". It's hard to have sympathy for people that made an important decision based on such superficial criteria.

[Anonymous]

Not if she got fat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not if she got fat

A DCUM thread is not a thread unless you have a genuine dickwad or a nasty, jealous young thing chirping in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically, men who divorce end up with women identical to or similar to the women they married in the first place. They repeat the same issues over and over because they refuse to do the work to address their own issues or understand why they are drawn to certain women.

Statistically, men who divorce end up with second wives who are on average 8 years younger.

and likely the same or identical in personality to the first wife - which is why most second marriages end in divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not if she got fat

A DCUM thread is not a thread unless you have a genuine dickwad or a nasty, jealous young thing chirping in.

You should seek therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think men regret divorces if they caused them by cheating, abuse, etc. Men are more likely than women to cheat when there isn't a relationship problem, out of just straight-up opportunism. Women usually don't cheat unless they unhappy with the relationship.

Oh bullshit. It requires a lot of effort for a man to cheat. He's got to make it happen. All women have to do is say yes to any of the approaches they constantly receive.

If a man cheats, it means he is not happy with the relationship. True, he might not want to leave his wife, but plenty of women also cheat who don't want to get a divorce for various reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, studies show men tsk it harder. The suicide rate for males is disturbingly high. With divorced males it’s even higher. Women initiate divorce about 70% of the time from what I’ve read.

From my personal experience, some didn’t see it coming and she’s with another lover months if not weeks after. Plus, finding male only support groups like this is hard unless you’re a veteran. My personal experience is while they don’t specialize in divorce support per se, they are certainly supportive of a lot of these issues and divorce being among them. I also find female veterans a little more fri madly to deal with.

This is true but doesn't fully encompass the truth - my husband was the one who came to me and said he was unhappy, wasn't attracted to me, didn't feel a connection, that he might have been in love with a coworker etc. etc..... but he also didn't do anything about it. He didn't want to go to counseling to repair our marriage but he also didn't want to separate. So eventually I was the one to leave and I am the one handling all of the logistics. So I am contributing to that statistic but in reality, I was not the one who was unhappy and dissatisfied with my marriage. But I guess my husband would have just continued on like that forever?

[Anonymous]

Yes. My husband left me for AP and left me to file and take care of the grown up stuff.

[Anonymous]

In my limited experience, men typically leave FOR another woman. Women typically leave, because they can't stand the marriage anymore for whatever reason. In other words, a man rarely leaves without a plan B in the works. Obviously, I don't have a statistically significant sample LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my limited experience, men typically leave FOR another woman. Women typically leave, because they can't stand the marriage anymore for whatever reason. In other words, a man rarely leaves without a plan B in the works. Obviously, I don't have a statistically significant sample LOL

My divorce attorney agrees with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my limited experience, men typically leave FOR another woman. Women typically leave, because they can't stand the marriage anymore for whatever reason. In other words, a man rarely leaves without a plan B in the works. Obviously, I don't have a statistically significant sample LOL

My divorce attorney agrees with you.

I'm 9:08 and you're probably right... I bet if my DH had gotten further with that coworker he was possibly in love with, he would have been more motivated.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the one who asked for the divorce and I had a difficult time wrapping my head around everything that was happening at the time, what it meant, etc. (we had one DC at the time). Once the fog lifted (about 11 months later), I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I was able to see clearly, perhaps for the first time, just how mismatched my exW and I were. I am grateful for the fact we have a beautiful and smart child who we are jointly raising, and while I do feel bad sometimes that DC has to share two homes, I have no regrets and have never been happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my limited experience, men typically leave FOR another woman. Women typically leave, because they can't stand the marriage anymore for whatever reason. In other words, a man rarely leaves without a plan B in the works. Obviously, I don't have a statistically significant sample LOL

My divorce attorney agrees with you.

my exW left me for her AP, so, there's that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any stories about a guy who left his marriage on a whim, but later regretted it? Maybe delusional? Thought he could do better, then found out that was not the case?

doubt the non-emotional ones do.

No if they:
* constantly compartmentalize everything - they've moved on
* are narcissists and nothing is their fault - they've moved on
* are workaholics - too much work, never self-reflecting
* had affairs - they've moved on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my limited experience, men typically leave FOR another woman. Women typically leave, because they can't stand the marriage anymore for whatever reason. In other words, a man rarely leaves without a plan B in the works. Obviously, I don't have a statistically significant sample LOL

Oh bullshit. Women branch swing. They don't let go of the existing branch until they're holding a new one.