Do men regret their divorces?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any stories about a guy who left his marriage on a whim, but later regretted it? Maybe delusional? Thought he could do better, then found out that was not the case?

The premise of this entire post is false and stupid.

No man leaves his marriage "on a whim".

[Anonymous]

Statistically, men who divorce end up with women identical to or similar to the women they married in the first place. They repeat the same issues over and over because they refuse to do the work to address their own issues or understand why they are drawn to certain women.

[Anonymous]

My exH is happy as a clam as far as I can tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here, early 50s, divorced after being married nearly 25 years. No, I do not regret being divorced from my substance abusing, lazy, cheating, lying, physically and emotionally abusive wife. I do regret that she turned into what she became. I didn't recognize her compared to the woman she was 30 years ago. I do regret that I am no longer with my children all the time. I do regret marrying her. I do regret that I allowed her to not contribute to the family. I do regret all the housework and chores and cleaning and cooking and laundry I did, after working a 50 hour week, because I hoped to appease her rage.

Men, there is hope! I now live in a clean home, I eat healthy meals, I have a little free time, and lots of women to date (ages 22-52!). But I still regret the lost years, the time spent hoping she'd pull her head out of her ass. I could have been with a decent woman the whole time.

i could have written the same story. i am free from an oppressive relationship. took to f'cking long trying to help her fight her demons. and being worn down with all the rejections, there are many many women to choose from, life is in color again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here, early 50s, divorced after being married nearly 25 years. No, I do not regret being divorced from my substance abusing, lazy, cheating, lying, physically and emotionally abusive wife. I do regret that she turned into what she became. I didn't recognize her compared to the woman she was 30 years ago. I do regret that I am no longer with my children all the time. I do regret marrying her. I do regret that I allowed her to not contribute to the family. I do regret all the housework and chores and cleaning and cooking and laundry I did, after working a 50 hour week, because I hoped to appease her rage.

Men, there is hope! I now live in a clean home, I eat healthy meals, I have a little free time, and lots of women to date (ages 22-52!). But I still regret the lost years, the time spent hoping she'd pull her head out of her ass. I could have been with a decent woman the whole time.

Brother. You could be me! Except the whole cycle lasted ten years (started older). Who the heck did she become!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm divorced male. I did not realize just how miserable I was in the marriage until after being divorced for several years. It took a while for the emotional abuse I suffered at her had to wear off. On the one hand I'm so glad not to be married to her any longer and I would never go back. I am sad for how the divorce and her continually bad mouthing me has impacted the kids. I was drowning in that marriage and did not really know how all the badgering and mental games had messed me up. When she filed for the divorce she expected I would beg her not to. I didn't beg and she got irrationally angry. Years later I am glad for the divorce. I will never go back to her. I'm happy in my new life even if I feel sad for the old one.

Like the previous poster said. I regret marrying her but not the divorce. The divorce cost me almost a million in assets and somehow it was worth every penny.

I was that PP and really, you can end the thread right here. This is the bottom line. The rest will be all women posting about how they are sure their DH regretted divorcing their sweet selves, or they know a guy who must be so miserable. I'm sure he just has to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 50 year old ex cheater is back living in his mom's basement again. So yeah, I'd say he knows he f'ed up his life.

But you aren't answering the question. Does he regret divorcing you? When you say, he knows he Fd up his life, would he say he Fd it up by marrying you, or divorcing you? Because, I'm sure you know, even mom's basement may be much better than being married to you.

[Anonymous]

So far, there is not one first hand account from a man saying he regrets getting divorced. Every comment from divorced men say they have no regrets. It's only the women commenting about men who feel regretful. Funny how that works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My exH is happy as a clam as far as I can tell.

But hey, we had a great ride, didn't we? No regrets here. Sorry it didn't work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Statistically, men who divorce end up with women identical to or similar to the women they married in the first place. They repeat the same issues over and over because they refuse to do the work to address their own issues or understand why they are drawn to certain women.

This is true in the sense that any woman you marry eventually becomes fat, lazy, shrill, hectoring, and sex-denying. No reason to expect anything to be different if you repeat the same experiment with a basically similar subject (i.e., another woman).

[Anonymous]

My husband would regret it. He loves me but has some gambling issues and would be miserable if we divorced.

[Anonymous]

There is more to marriage than the person. I am not sure whether my husband would regret divorcing me. The thing is, though, that being married to me comes with a package of uninterrupted access to his children, a nice bundle of joint assets, the social status of being married to me, and a whole bunch of extras. That, I know, he would hate to lose. So in that sense, he would absolutely regret it, and for that reason, he will never divorce.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I only know 1 guy who regrets it (bc he talks about "what might have been"). I only know his side bc he was the friend and not his wife. They married and then were divorced within like 6-9 months. IDK why but from day 1 that marriage was about HIM and HIS parents, instead of him and his wife. It was constantly -- my parents wouldn't like it if we took this trip or made that purchase; my mom expects us home for this holiday or that weekend or whatever. That coupled with the fact that he's the type of guy who is a smooth talker/exaggerator leads me to believe that when he was dating her (only for 1-2 yrs) he was acted normal. I know back then he was wining and dining her and making future plans with her. I think she thought it was real.

They get married and suddenly despite being 30 and 100% born and raised in America (she was of the same culture but also 100% born and raised here), he turned into an old man from his culture with the whole attitude of I am the husband, we will do things how me and my family want (despite his family living 200 miles away).

She was out the door asap bc presumably she didn't want to live like that. He is now 45 and still single -- while she was a hottie who has married and has 3 kids -- so he STILL talks about what might have been, what if they had had kids etc.

Indian men tend to turn into Indian men after marriage.

Pakistani actually but I think culturally the views on males/husbands ruling the roost aren't that dissimilar, yet bc this guy knew he wouldn't be able to snag a pretty, ivy educated, bringing home great money, born/raised in America type of woman from the same cultural background if he did his "I'm the man" act while dating -- seems like he put on a LOT of airs while dating to show how open minded and normal American he was. Then when the ring is on it, the true colors came out and his parents totally were egging him on about the things a husband "should demand." I mean his mother (who is a 100% clean freak, lifelong homemaker) demanded that before the daughter in law leave after a visit, she clean the bathroom they used. She sort of shrugged it off thinking it was a joke -- and DH enforced it bc that's what his mama wanted. Dunno if that was the beginning of the end but it might have been. FWIW when he was acting this way and allowing his parents to treat the DIL like a servant, many of his friends -- including other guys of the same background --told him to knock it off, we were not in the dark ages and she'd divorce him. He was so convinced he was right, he didn't listen.

That's probably because he knew she needs his permission for the Islamic divorce unless the contract stipulated otherwise.

I think she walked away from the legal marriage and re married later. No idea what they did religiously but knowing him and what a douche he was, no way he would have granted a divorce and certainly not within 6 months. The culture thing became his obsession more than hers so she probably just got out under NY state law regardless of what any imam would say.

That may be, but it also means she could never marry into the culture again, and could never marry another Muslim, period. This matters to some people, and it matters to a whole lot of families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, early 50s, divorced after being married nearly 25 years. No, I do not regret being divorced from my substance abusing, lazy, cheating, lying, physically and emotionally abusive wife. I do regret that she turned into what she became. I didn't recognize her compared to the woman she was 30 years ago. I do regret that I am no longer with my children all the time. I do regret marrying her. I do regret that I allowed her to not contribute to the family. I do regret all the housework and chores and cleaning and cooking and laundry I did, after working a 50 hour week, because I hoped to appease her rage.

Men, there is hope! I now live in a clean home, I eat healthy meals, I have a little free time, and lots of women to date (ages 22-52!). But I still regret the lost years, the time spent hoping she'd pull her head out of her ass. I could have been with a decent woman the whole time.

Brother. You could be me! Except the whole cycle lasted ten years (started older). Who the heck did she become!?

This is me too and I am a woman! I am so happy to be free of that man!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My exH is happy as a clam as far as I can tell.

For the first couple of years afterward, my ex got a lot of mileage out of his "horrible ex-wife" stories to a series of girlfriends because, according to him, I "kicked him out after I used him to get children."

I never said a bad word about him as I counted down the days until we could divorce. It made my mother furious and she would stomp around and yell about what a useless, mean, piece of $hit he was. When the time came, it made her so happy to hand me the retainer fee. "Is THAT this only thing keeping you from divorcing him now???!!!!" I can still hear the pitter patter of her little feet and the scribbling sound as she wrote out the check. Adorable! The only thing my father ever said to me about the marriage was that he saw how hard I worked to keep it going. He took my hand as he said it, and it means the world to me now that he (my Dad) has passed away. I carry his confidence with me.

FWIW, my hottie of an ex-husband has aged poorly. I imagine the old stories get him more raised eyebrows now than pu$$y.

They say the softest pillow is a clear conscience, and I really did give it my all. I sleep well. We have no contact. His choice.