Do men regret their divorces?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DHs, you have no agency or responsibility for happiness in your marriage. Your DW is responsible for figuring everything out and telling you, a grown man, what is going wrong.

This was the parody, and this wasn’t that guy’s message. If you honestly think it was, you’ve got issues.

Why did you cut out his original post and the rest of the parody? Didn’t want people to see either?

Anyway, apparently several people thought that was indeed the guy’s message.

Uh, the same 2 women is several people?

How do you know that?

Clearly you can’t listen to criticism, constructive or otherwise. I don’t know why you think getting your wife to tell you what to change is going to help anything.

In fact, communication seems to be a huge problem with you. Initiating an actual discussion with your wife doesn’t seem to occur to you-you want her to figure everything out and tell you.

Good luck.

Wow, you think you know anything about me or my wife when I haven’t provided any information? You’re a psycho.

Once more with feeling: why don’t YOU initiate a conversation with your wife, instead of repeating endlessly that SHE has to tell you? YOU’RE the one who’s unhappy with the sex, so why don’t YOU do something?

You’re just proving that you have zero communication skills. No need for more info about you, it’s already obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DHs, you have no agency or responsibility for happiness in your marriage. Your DW is responsible for figuring everything out and telling you, a grown man, what is going wrong.

This was the parody, and this wasn’t that guy’s message. If you honestly think it was, you’ve got issues.

Why did you cut out his original post and the rest of the parody? Didn’t want people to see either?

Anyway, apparently several people thought that was indeed the guy’s message.

Uh, the same 2 women is several people?

How do you know that?

Clearly you can’t listen to criticism, constructive or otherwise. I don’t know why you think getting your wife to tell you what to change is going to help anything.

In fact, communication seems to be a huge problem with you. Initiating an actual discussion with your wife doesn’t seem to occur to you-you want her to figure everything out and tell you.

Good luck.

Wow, you think you know anything about me or my wife when I haven’t provided any information? You’re a psycho.

Meh. Lots of people here have given you advice or criticism and you’ve shut them all out. Non-responsive posts, brushing posters off, tons of insults and name-calling (like right above). It’s not rocket science to conclude you have communication problems.

x 100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am that poster, and that was not my message, but ladies please do not wish us to be mind readers. You have voices and can express yourselves with them and in ways that are clear and express your intent.

How about asking her directly what would put her in the mood? How about asking yourself what you could do differently? Good conversation, flowers, date nights, shaving that stubble before kissing, showering beforehand if you’re one of those guys who shakes it at the urinal, technique tips? Not every woman wants these things, but many do.

It’s also possible there are bigger problems on the relationship. If you’re dismissive or rude to her, she’s not going to be in the mood. If you both work full time but you don’t get home until 9 and she has to feed and bathe the kids, yep, she’ll be exhausted. Ask her directly about these things, too.

And then make the changes. Don’t just decide that you can’t leave work before 9 and so you’re entitled to an AP while your wife deals with the kids.

The idea that you have no role to play in resolving this is wrong.

I never said I was unhappy. We don’t have kids. BTDT. We have a rockin’ sex like that even sometimes involves a few unicorns! But if you harpies are continually dismissive of your DHs and not putting out the effort, then cut ‘em loose.

[Anonymous]

My ex-wife hit 40 and her face caved in shortly after the divorce. Never looked back again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am that poster, and that was not my message, but ladies please do not wish us to be mind readers. You have voices and can express yourselves with them and in ways that are clear and express your intent.

How about asking her directly what would put her in the mood? How about asking yourself what you could do differently? Good conversation, flowers, date nights, shaving that stubble before kissing, showering beforehand if you’re one of those guys who shakes it at the urinal, technique tips? Not every woman wants these things, but many do.

It’s also possible there are bigger problems on the relationship. If you’re dismissive or rude to her, she’s not going to be in the mood. If you both work full time but you don’t get home until 9 and she has to feed and bathe the kids, yep, she’ll be exhausted. Ask her directly about these things, too.

And then make the changes. Don’t just decide that you can’t leave work before 9 and so you’re entitled to an AP while your wife deals with the kids.

The idea that you have no role to play in resolving this is wrong.

I never said I was unhappy. We don’t have kids. BTDT. We have a rockin’ sex like that even sometimes involves a few unicorns! But if you harpies are continually dismissive of your DHs and not putting out the effort, then cut ‘em loose.

Why are you bumping old posts? And why can’t you take on board the idea that men need to help start these conversations, and instead you derail into boasting about your prowess and calling other posters “harpies” or worse? Something is pretty off here....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex-wife hit 40 and her face caved in shortly after the divorce. Never looked back again.

She lost weight. Guessing you’re one of the posters here who thinks a wife’s weight gain is grounds for divorce. Your wife couldn’t win.

Hope she took her smokin new bod and found a guy who appreciates her for who she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re willing to break up your kids’ home so you can get laid, it says a lot about who you are as a person and why perhaps your spouse doesn’t want sex with you in the first place.

It says you are a normal person who desires sex with their spouse, which is natural, admirable, and indeed the basis of the marital contract.

The person who broke up the kids home... is the person denying sex to their spouse, not the person who leaves.

Yes. If you sign up for a monogamous married relationship, you agree to have regular sex with your husband. If you don't, you are ruining the marriage.

Because if your spouse doesn’t shower, or abuses you verbally or physically, or is just plain bad in bed, it’s your fault that you aren’t attracted to them, and not theirs?

What is this, the Middle Ages?

I thought we had moved beyond the mentality where you could beat your wife and then demand sex without any introspection on your part.

I was none of these things, and was still cut off, and pushed away from any affection at all. I also did most of the housework and earned most of the money.

My girlfriend is thrilled I'm divorced. She doesn't play any of the games that the ex did.

So you generalize from your own anecdote to all relationships everywhere and make all-encompassing pronouncements about all marriages?

I'm not generalizing to all, but I know quite a few men who bailed out of long-term marriages because their wives broke. One friend was 10 years older, he could predict with certainty why my wife, and then ex-wife, would do next because he'd lived it. I know several others now who have gone through the same thing.

Yes, you are generalizing based on your own anecdote.


Definition of anecdotal

1 : based on or consisting of reports or observations of usually unscientific observers anecdotal evidence health benefits that may be more anecdotal than factual

Definition of generalizing

1. to infer (a general principle, trend, etc.) from particular facts, statistics, or the like.
2. to infer or form (a general principle, opinion, conclusion, etc.) from only a few facts, examples, or the like.
3. to give a general rather than a specific or special character or form to.
4. to make general; bring into general use or knowledge.

Could you point out where exactly I generalized? I don't see it. I've seen a lot of women in this thread generalize, but I haven't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re willing to break up your kids’ home so you can get laid, it says a lot about who you are as a person and why perhaps your spouse doesn’t want sex with you in the first place.

It says you are a normal person who desires sex with their spouse, which is natural, admirable, and indeed the basis of the marital contract.

The person who broke up the kids home... is the person denying sex to their spouse, not the person who leaves.

Yes. If you sign up for a monogamous married relationship, you agree to have regular sex with your husband. If you don't, you are ruining the marriage.

Because if your spouse doesn’t shower, or abuses you verbally or physically, or is just plain bad in bed, it’s your fault that you aren’t attracted to them, and not theirs?

What is this, the Middle Ages?

I thought we had moved beyond the mentality where you could beat your wife and then demand sex without any introspection on your part.

I was none of these things, and was still cut off, and pushed away from any affection at all. I also did most of the housework and earned most of the money.

My girlfriend is thrilled I'm divorced. She doesn't play any of the games that the ex did.

So you generalize from your own anecdote to all relationships everywhere and make all-encompassing pronouncements about all marriages?

I'm not generalizing to all, but I know quite a few men who bailed out of long-term marriages because their wives broke. One friend was 10 years older, he could predict with certainty why my wife, and then ex-wife, would do next because he'd lived it. I know several others now who have gone through the same thing.

Yes, you are generalizing based on your own anecdote.


Definition of anecdotal

1 : based on or consisting of reports or observations of usually unscientific observers anecdotal evidence health benefits that may be more anecdotal than factual

Definition of generalizing

1. to infer (a general principle, trend, etc.) from particular facts, statistics, or the like.
2. to infer or form (a general principle, opinion, conclusion, etc.) from only a few facts, examples, or the like.
3. to give a general rather than a specific or special character or form to.
4. to make general; bring into general use or knowledge.

Could you point out where exactly I generalized? I don't see it. I've seen a lot of women in this thread generalize, but I haven't.

I think everybody is tired of playing with you, troll.

[Anonymous]

From the men who have actually responded, I think the consensus is nope. Sorry, OP, but men very often have very good reasons to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Seperated Over 50 Man. had sex 6 times over weekend. with same lovely woman my age. DW wouldn;t have done it once. I never expected it would be this good at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the men who have actually responded, I think the consensus is nope. Sorry, OP, but men very often have very good reasons to divorce.

If you think ecerything said by women here (and probably by other women in your life) is invalid, sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the men who have actually responded, I think the consensus is nope. Sorry, OP, but men very often have very good reasons to divorce.

If you think ecerything said by women here (and probably by other women in your life) is invalid, sure.

It is invalid. The men here have spoken and made it clear, they have no regrets. At the same time, several women have posted to say they are sure the men they know have big regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the men who have actually responded, I think the consensus is nope. Sorry, OP, but men very often have very good reasons to divorce.

If you think ecerything said by women here (and probably by other women in your life) is invalid, sure.

It is invalid. The men here have spoken and made it clear, they have no regrets. At the same time, several women have posted to say they are sure the men they know have big regrets.

Most people don't like to dwell on things they are ashamed of or regret, certainly not in front of other people who might get satisfaction from their pain.

I am absolutely positive that many men do not regret their divorces at all, and I am not surprised that many were willing to post that here. I also think that those willing to post were not an unbiased sample.

I'm a woman. Even though thinking about it always came with waves of sadness initially, I don't regret the divorce. Given a few drunken emails I received, I think at one point, he did. I hope we are both at the point where we realized we were not good for each other then, and that we could not find a way to be better until we were apart and figured out things separately.

I don't hope he regrets it. I hope he remembers the good times and is glad we stopped hurting each other.

[Anonymous]

I think it may depend on who they divorced. With a typical DCUM woman, it's probably good riddance. Women on here are vile both to men and to each other. If there's anything like this IRL, there's not enough pretty in this world to mask it LOL