DH changed his email password

[Anonymous]

Why not bring it up during your next marriage counseling session?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I just thought I'd update this to say, really, this was just a minor issue relative to the big picture. (Isn't it always?)

I think we're probably getting divorced. I feel so sad. He used to be my best friend, my soul mate. Now, he's just not nice to me. On the rare occasion he is, you can tell he's forcing it. He just doesn't care about me. He can't even feign interest in anything about my day, my interests, my health (I have some health issues).

I literally think the only reason he hasn't left me is because I do so much for him, and he doesn't know how to do those things for himself (or can't be trusted to remember to do those things). The password was his attempt to shut me out, and I'm sure he's mad that in the end, he'd rather give me his password than sign the freaking contract himself; and I'm mad at that, too.

I'm trying to be optimistic. I just want this over with. I want to look forward to the future. There's life after divorce, right?

[Anonymous]

Everyone is diagnosed with ADHD nowadays, including my wife and son. In some schools almost everyone is on Ritalin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy crap, OP. Log into all the accounts online of stuff you care about and need to make sure doesn’t mess up your credit and change it over to your email. This is fiscally responsible. The rest is an issue for your counselor.

You want him to do things he doesn’t do. You married a man child, and this must have been known to you. You can’t change him and magically have him turn into this other person.

Seriously? I can tell you that I didn't know my DH (I'm not OP) had ADHD when we got married and I'd known him for 6 years and lived together for 3 before we got married. It wasn't until after we had our 2nd kid that he was struggling with managing life with 2 kids. The coping strategies/mechanisms that previously worked for him no longer did. Even with 8 years of marriage counseling (off and on with same counselor), it wasn't until after one of our kids was diagnosed, that DH got an evaluation.

It's clear that many people posting have no idea what ADHD is like. I used to be like you. When it was suggested my DS could have ADHD, I scoffed. He didn't act like what I thought someone with ADHD acted. I was so very ignorant. Once I learned more about ADHD, it was clear that my DS and my DH had it. There's no cure for it but it can be better managed by teaching appropriate coping strategies and medication. It's hard for my DH because he has to un-learned so much.