Does alimony still happen in VA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

Hopefully the courts force you to work the exact same number of hours as your alimony paying husband.
Otherwise, exactly WHAT special thing did you do to deserve some other working slave to support you for live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home. Gimme a break. Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office? Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?

The point is what is owed to a spouse for staying home. The spouse receives 50% of whatever capital was accumulated during the marriage. They also received all rent, food, expenses, etc. while in the marriage. So the grounds for spousal support would be 1) they gave up time they could have used for job training, 2) they need time to recoup their footing in their career, etc.? That makes sense. On the other hand how do you take into account the case of a spouse who gets the time for training and a career and opts not to use it?

Sorry my dear, but if you are college educated or have a grad degree, and no medical issues or kids with special needs, choosing to be unemployed is not giving up anything. It's simply not feeling like working and having the privilege to do that.

Righ as it’s far better to pay a stranger to raise your kids or let them raise themselves.

Strangers are raising your children starting at 5 years old; kindergarten is 9 am to 4 pm.
My MIL is in MD, barely worked from time to time, my FIL got his mistress now wife pregnant and my MIL received alimony for 10 years. They were married for 25 years.

Big difference between school and other times.

Ok, so for families with typical children, the SAHP should rejoin the workforce when the youngest is 5 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

Hopefully the courts force you to work the exact same number of hours as your alimony paying husband.
Otherwise, exactly WHAT special thing did you do to deserve some other working slave to support you for live?

Why are you so mad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In your scenario, she should get alimony.

She may receive "rehabilitative alimony" intended to support her while she gets into the workforce, and ends when she can support herself.

Do note that the pending "Tax Cuts and Jobs Act" will change IRS rules such that income tax will NOT be deductible by the payee. Be sure to factor this into any settlement discussions. The net result of this law change will be more taxes paid by the couple as a whole, meaning less money available for alimony.

That's why I told my ex-husband to stop the spousal support (he hated the fact that he had to pay that, purely because of it being called that) but increased the child support (because he had no problem agreeing to paying that.) Because I found out about having to claim spousal support as income. No thanks.

How is this even legal for the gov't to tax this money twice? WTF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

What’s your situation such that you get it for life? Do they not expect you to work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

Hopefully the courts force you to work the exact same number of hours as your alimony paying husband.
Otherwise, exactly WHAT special thing did you do to deserve some other working slave to support you for live?

Why are you so mad?

I am mad that any woman would be allowed to work an less than an EX husband who pays her alimony.
Unless she is still making his breakfast, doing his laundry, and giving him BJs... there is no valid reason she should not be forced to work the same amount as he does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

Hopefully the courts force you to work the exact same number of hours as your alimony paying husband.
Otherwise, exactly WHAT special thing did you do to deserve some other working slave to support you for live?

Why are you so mad?

I am mad that any woman would be allowed to work an less than an EX husband who pays her alimony.
Unless she is still making his breakfast, doing his laundry, and giving him BJs... there is no valid reason she should not be forced to work the same amount as he does.

My cheating exH dumped me just before selling his stock options and retired. He doesn’t work and I grew up our autistic child while he travelled. I didn’t get any alimony in DC as I was 43.
All these crazy long alimony orders are usually for 60+ divorces where one party is high earner and the other supported career and is no longer employable due to age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

Hopefully the courts force you to work the exact same number of hours as your alimony paying husband.
Otherwise, exactly WHAT special thing did you do to deserve some other working slave to support you for live?

Why are you so mad?

I am mad that any woman would be allowed to work an less than an EX husband who pays her alimony.
Unless she is still making his breakfast, doing his laundry, and giving him BJs... there is no valid reason she should not be forced to work the same amount as he does.

My cheating exH dumped me just before selling his stock options and retired. He doesn’t work and I grew up our autistic child while he travelled. I didn’t get any alimony in DC as I was 43.
All these crazy long alimony orders are usually for 60+ divorces where one party is high earner and the other supported career and is no longer employable due to age.

I thought in that case it was alimony until retirement?

Usually the precedent is you get alimony for half the years of your marriage, so if you’re 60+ it will be about that to retirement. Maybe that’s why they say lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

Can I ask how much? Enough to live on, or just a supplemental amount? For example, I'll get $1500 for the next 10 years, which helps a lot but I obviously still work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

Hopefully the courts force you to work the exact same number of hours as your alimony paying husband.
Otherwise, exactly WHAT special thing did you do to deserve some other working slave to support you for live?

Why are you so mad?

I am mad that any woman would be allowed to work an less than an EX husband who pays her alimony.
Unless she is still making his breakfast, doing his laundry, and giving him BJs... there is no valid reason she should not be forced to work the same amount as he does.

My cheating exH dumped me just before selling his stock options and retired. He doesn’t work and I grew up our autistic child while he travelled. I didn’t get any alimony in DC as I was 43.
All these crazy long alimony orders are usually for 60+ divorces where one party is high earner and the other supported career and is no longer employable due to age.

I thought in that case it was alimony until retirement?

Usually the precedent is you get alimony for half the years of your marriage, so if you’re 60+ it will be about that to retirement. Maybe that’s why they say lifetime.

My exH quit his high paying job not to pay alimony. But I am younger than him by a lot and got assets in divorce so I was given no alimony. Although my stay at home was not by choice but to take care of our sick child.
It also depends if the spouse gets assets abs how much: the more assets you get in divorce the lesser is the chance for alimony

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

Hopefully the courts force you to work the exact same number of hours as your alimony paying husband.
Otherwise, exactly WHAT special thing did you do to deserve some other working slave to support you for live?

Why are you so mad?

I am mad that any woman would be allowed to work an less than an EX husband who pays her alimony.
Unless she is still making his breakfast, doing his laundry, and giving him BJs... there is no valid reason she should not be forced to work the same amount as he does.

Get some help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

This caused a cold sweat to break across my forehead.
Are you disabled? Over 60? Do you care for disabled offspring?
Was your husband very wealthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home. Gimme a break. Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office? Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?

The point is what is owed to a spouse for staying home. The spouse receives 50% of whatever capital was accumulated during the marriage. They also received all rent, food, expenses, etc. while in the marriage. So the grounds for spousal support would be 1) they gave up time they could have used for job training, 2) they need time to recoup their footing in their career, etc.? That makes sense. On the other hand how do you take into account the case of a spouse who gets the time for training and a career and opts not to use it?

Sorry my dear, but if you are college educated or have a grad degree, and no medical issues or kids with special needs, choosing to be unemployed is not giving up anything. It's simply not feeling like working and having the privilege to do that.

Righ as it’s far better to pay a stranger to raise your kids or let them raise themselves.

Strangers are raising your children starting at 5 years old; kindergarten is 9 am to 4 pm.
My MIL is in MD, barely worked from time to time, my FIL got his mistress now wife pregnant and my MIL received alimony for 10 years. They were married for 25 years.

Big difference between school and other times.

Ok, so for families with typical children, the SAHP should rejoin the workforce when the youngest is 5 years old.

Sure, as long as the working parent is prepared to be the one to take leave to accommodate schools breaks/teacher work days/sick days etc and flex their hours as needed to accommodate school pick ups and extracurriculars since the former SAHP will likely have limited leave and need to prove themselves as a new employee. Funnily it never seems to work like that and the former SAHP is expected to continue to be the default parent while attempting to rebuild/start a new career from scratch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.

This caused a cold sweat to break across my forehead.
Are you disabled? Over 60? Do you care for disabled offspring?
Was your husband very wealthy?

My MIL got alimony for life at around age 42. Unfortunately, her ex lost his job when MIL turned about 56. So she had to get a retail job. Then she got stage IV cancer. Probably diagnosed much too late because she had no money for health insurance.

[Anonymous]

If I were stuck with alimony for life, I'd liquidate everything I could and enroll is a residency program in another country. It would take ex-w decades to get a case against me in an Italian court.

I know a guy who did it. He was a MD, he worked like crazy and didn't want to work until the day he died paying for some his cheating ex-wife's lifestyle. He's now a citizen of a South Pacific nation, practicing as a doctor, and working far fewer hours. His ex could have had an income stream and assets, but she got greedy and decided she was entitled to everything.