Does alimony still happen in VA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family law attorney here

Look people, you might not like it, but don't spread misinformation in here. In a long marriage like this, where the wife hasn't worked by choice of both partners, yes she will be awarded some type of alimony unless her lawyer is a real incompetent. which I doubt because you'd have to be a huge fool not to present a case for it.

What if she didn’t work because she didn’t want to, and the partner voiced concern and told them to get a job but they didn’t Is the only option to divorce when a spouse refuses to work if you disagree? if you do not divorce will you have to pay alimony? If you immediately divorce do you still pay alimony? It now seems to me that not working should be a new automatic divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home. Gimme a break. Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office? Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home. Gimme a break. Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office? Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?

The point is what is owed to a spouse for staying home. The spouse receives 50% of whatever capital was accumulated during the marriage. They also received all rent, food, expenses, etc. while in the marriage. So the grounds for spousal support would be 1) they gave up time they could have used for job training, 2) they need time to recoup their footing in their career, etc.? That makes sense. On the other hand how do you take into account the case of a spouse who gets the time for training and a career and opts not to use it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home. Gimme a break. Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office? Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?

The point is what is owed to a spouse for staying home. The spouse receives 50% of whatever capital was accumulated during the marriage. They also received all rent, food, expenses, etc. while in the marriage. So the grounds for spousal support would be 1) they gave up time they could have used for job training, 2) they need time to recoup their footing in their career, etc.? That makes sense. On the other hand how do you take into account the case of a spouse who gets the time for training and a career and opts not to use it?

Sorry my dear, but if you are college educated or have a grad degree, and no medical issues or kids with special needs, choosing to be unemployed is not giving up anything. It's simply not feeling like working and having the privilege to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home. Gimme a break. Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office? Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?

The point is what is owed to a spouse for staying home. The spouse receives 50% of whatever capital was accumulated during the marriage. They also received all rent, food, expenses, etc. while in the marriage. So the grounds for spousal support would be 1) they gave up time they could have used for job training, 2) they need time to recoup their footing in their career, etc.? That makes sense. On the other hand how do you take into account the case of a spouse who gets the time for training and a career and opts not to use it?

Sorry my dear, but if you are college educated or have a grad degree, and no medical issues or kids with special needs, choosing to be unemployed is not giving up anything. It's simply not feeling like working and having the privilege to do that.

Righ as it’s far better to pay a stranger to raise your kids or let them raise themselves.

[Anonymous]

Sorry my dear, but if you are college educated or have a grad degree, and no medical issues or kids with special needs, choosing to be unemployed is not giving up anything. It's simply not feeling like working and having the privilege to do that.

Righ as it’s far better to pay a stranger to raise your kids or let them raise themselves.

Your life. You chose to have kids. Now work to support them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home. Gimme a break. Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office? Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?

The point is what is owed to a spouse for staying home. The spouse receives 50% of whatever capital was accumulated during the marriage. They also received all rent, food, expenses, etc. while in the marriage. So the grounds for spousal support would be 1) they gave up time they could have used for job training, 2) they need time to recoup their footing in their career, etc.? That makes sense. On the other hand how do you take into account the case of a spouse who gets the time for training and a career and opts not to use it?

Sorry my dear, but if you are college educated or have a grad degree, and no medical issues or kids with special needs, choosing to be unemployed is not giving up anything. It's simply not feeling like working and having the privilege to do that.

Righ as it’s far better to pay a stranger to raise your kids or let them raise themselves.

I'm sure staying home during the day is "far better" than working and juggling and paying for childcare.

Unless you get divorced and only get temp alimony and can't earn much. It's a risk, but I'm sure in the end it works out very nicely for the majority of moms who chose to stay home. Cleaner home, more time for activities, homework, nice meals etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home. Gimme a break. Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office? Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?

The point is what is owed to a spouse for staying home. The spouse receives 50% of whatever capital was accumulated during the marriage. They also received all rent, food, expenses, etc. while in the marriage. So the grounds for spousal support would be 1) they gave up time they could have used for job training, 2) they need time to recoup their footing in their career, etc.? That makes sense. On the other hand how do you take into account the case of a spouse who gets the time for training and a career and opts not to use it?

Sorry my dear, but if you are college educated or have a grad degree, and no medical issues or kids with special needs, choosing to be unemployed is not giving up anything. It's simply not feeling like working and having the privilege to do that.

Righ as it’s far better to pay a stranger to raise your kids or let them raise themselves.

Strangers are raising your children starting at 5 years old; kindergarten is 9 am to 4 pm.
My MIL is in MD, barely worked from time to time, my FIL got his mistress now wife pregnant and my MIL received alimony for 10 years. They were married for 25 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes my friend got it. Married under 10 years.

I was married 10 years. No alimony. But I worked most of the marriage. A 30-year marriage should get alimony if she did not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he makws mid 150s, he is not able to pay 5k a month.

I have a friend in MD who pays that. He makes $170k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he makws mid 150s, he is not able to pay 5k a month.

I have a friend in MD who pays that. He makes $170k.

Are we talking before tax money? I thought the person receiving has to pay income tax on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

A non-working spouse is only possible during marriage due to the mutual support. My wife cleans and folds my underwear, cooks dinner, and other things I can't mention on non-explicit. Would you expect the courts to force her to do those post divorce? If not, why shouldn't she get a job? Is it fair that all of my support ends, but hers continue?

In your scenario, alimony would be awarded to allow that non-working person to get back into the workforce and become self supporting. You seem to conflate the purpose of alimony with that of child support. Everybody loses personal satisfaction, and lifestyles change during a divorce.

Because opportunity cost and irreparable damage jack-ss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home. Gimme a break. Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office? Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?

The point is what is owed to a spouse for staying home. The spouse receives 50% of whatever capital was accumulated during the marriage. They also received all rent, food, expenses, etc. while in the marriage. So the grounds for spousal support would be 1) they gave up time they could have used for job training, 2) they need time to recoup their footing in their career, etc.? That makes sense. On the other hand how do you take into account the case of a spouse who gets the time for training and a career and opts not to use it?

Sorry my dear, but if you are college educated or have a grad degree, and no medical issues or kids with special needs, choosing to be unemployed is not giving up anything. It's simply not feeling like working and having the privilege to do that.

Righ as it’s far better to pay a stranger to raise your kids or let them raise themselves.

Strangers are raising your children starting at 5 years old; kindergarten is 9 am to 4 pm.
My MIL is in MD, barely worked from time to time, my FIL got his mistress now wife pregnant and my MIL received alimony for 10 years. They were married for 25 years.

Big difference between school and other times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he makws mid 150s, he is not able to pay 5k a month.

I have a friend in MD who pays that. He makes $170k.

Are we talking before tax money? I thought the person receiving has to pay income tax on it.

Yes, that's his pre-tax income. He was divorced before January 2018 so his ex-w is supposed to pay tax in the alimony (but doesn't).

[Anonymous]

Yes, I got divorced three years ago after being married for 24 years. I got alimony for life.