Does alimony still happen in VA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of her education, she will need to get a job. To “not work” is a perk of marriage that goes away when the marriage ends.

Even if she hasn’t worked for 30 years and has kids at home? That seems like precedent.

Unless she is completely unable to work due to some mental or physical disability (in which case social security may be involved). Most marriage "precedents" cease along with the marriage (joint bank accounts; holiday traditions; sleeping together; etc). Who has "kids at home" after 30 years marriage? Alimony has nothing to do with kids, that is called child support and it stops when kids turn 18.

[Anonymous]

I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

A non-working spouse is only possible during marriage due to the mutual support. My wife cleans and folds my underwear, cooks dinner, and other things I can't mention on non-explicit. Would you expect the courts to force her to do those post divorce? If not, why shouldn't she get a job? Is it fair that all of my support ends, but hers continue?

In your scenario, alimony would be awarded to allow that non-working person to get back into the workforce and become self supporting. You seem to conflate the purpose of alimony with that of child support. Everybody loses personal satisfaction, and lifestyles change during a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

Starting at about age 4 children spend their days at this thing called "school" so there is no longer a need for anyone to be home providing childcare. A four year resume gap shouldn't prevent anyone from getting a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.

Starting at about age 4 children spend their days at this thing called "school" so there is no longer a need for anyone to be home providing childcare. A four year resume gap shouldn't prevent anyone from getting a job.

A 30 year gap seems like more of a problem.

[Anonymous]

30 years? The only problem is this lazy person may need to work a minimum wage job and see what real life is like. But some small alimony may be awarded and/or said person may need to tap into the retirement funds that would have already been split. Surely you would not expect the other partner to delay his retirement to fund an unemployed ex spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of her education, she will need to get a job. To “not work” is a perk of marriage that goes away when the marriage ends.

Even if she hasn’t worked for 30 years and has kids at home? That seems like precedent.

Unless she is completely unable to work due to some mental or physical disability (in which case social security may be involved). Most marriage "precedents" cease along with the marriage (joint bank accounts; holiday traditions; sleeping together; etc). Who has "kids at home" after 30 years marriage? Alimony has nothing to do with kids, that is called child support and it stops when kids turn 18.

From a legal perspective, the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed is relevant and will be considered by the judge.

[Anonymous]

30 year marriage? yes

[Anonymous]

Family law attorney here

Look people, you might not like it, but don't spread misinformation in here. In a long marriage like this, where the wife hasn't worked by choice of both partners, yes she will be awarded some type of alimony unless her lawyer is a real incompetent. which I doubt because you'd have to be a huge fool not to present a case for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the calculation typically in long term marriages? Does it go on forever?

Sometimes. It really depends on the circumstances. Say this husband owns his own business, or owns equity in the company where he works, and her attorney can establish that the wife's efforts were central to helping him build this business/career. After a 30 year marriage and employment gap, it is likely that she will be awarded ongoing alimony for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of her education, she will need to get a job. To “not work” is a perk of marriage that goes away when the marriage ends.

Even if she hasn’t worked for 30 years and has kids at home? That seems like precedent.

Unless she is completely unable to work due to some mental or physical disability (in which case social security may be involved). Most marriage "precedents" cease along with the marriage (joint bank accounts; holiday traditions; sleeping together; etc). Who has "kids at home" after 30 years marriage? Alimony has nothing to do with kids, that is called child support and it stops when kids turn 18.

From a legal perspective, the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed is relevant and will be considered by the judge.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

I divorced in 2014 and got 7 years support. I was married for 18 years and SAH for 12 of them. I think this is on the high end but it was our initial offer and EX agreed. My lawyer told me to be happy with 3 years and to plan around that. It goes away if I marry. I wanted 17 percent of take home. He countered with a flat 4k a month. We settled on 4400.00 a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family law attorney here

Look people, you might not like it, but don't spread misinformation in here. In a long marriage like this, where the wife hasn't worked by choice of both partners, yes she will be awarded some type of alimony unless her lawyer is a real incompetent. which I doubt because you'd have to be a huge fool not to present a case for it.

I don't see how it would be for that long of a period though just based on what I presume to be the ages of the parties. Say they got married at 25 or 30 that means they are both between 55-60 years of age. Presumably he will retire at some point in the next few years after which his income will be from a 401K or other investment accounts. Presumably these will be split 50/50 in the divorce so at that point she will have access to the same income that he does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family law attorney here

Look people, you might not like it, but don't spread misinformation in here. In a long marriage like this, where the wife hasn't worked by choice of both partners, yes she will be awarded some type of alimony unless her lawyer is a real incompetent. which I doubt because you'd have to be a huge fool not to present a case for it.

I don't see how it would be for that long of a period though just based on what I presume to be the ages of the parties. Say they got married at 25 or 30 that means they are both between 55-60 years of age. Presumably he will retire at some point in the next few years after which his income will be from a 401K or other investment accounts. Presumably these will be split 50/50 in the divorce so at that point she will have access to the same income that he does.

Rehabilitative Alimony for her to get trained and back into the workforce is reasonable. She may choose not to work, but that potential income would be "imputed" and reduces (or eliminates) her alimony. Beyond that, perhaps until both former spouses retire (at a reasonable age), maybe she gets some small alimony. After retirement, they both live on their (previously split) retirement assets.

The days of a non-working spouse living off alimony are long gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family law attorney here

Look people, you might not like it, but don't spread misinformation in here. In a long marriage like this, where the wife hasn't worked by choice of both partners, yes she will be awarded some type of alimony unless her lawyer is a real incompetent. which I doubt because you'd have to be a huge fool not to present a case for it.

Even if she is a licensed attorney? Even if her husband a has a record of emails going back a decade begging her to get a job and start contributing to the family?