How do American kids have so much confidence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you think is confidence is really disrespectful behavior. That might be tolerated in urban areas but not where I come from. Never has, never will.

Manners seem to be disappearing, being vulgar taking it's place. Snowflakes need melting.

No, there's a difference between confidence and disrespect. I've read novels written in the 70s that also noticed this difference between American teens and European teens.

European teens can be just as "confident" and/or "disrespectful" as American teens. I've lived in Europe for years and seen it first hand.

Understand that there is little difference between europe amd america. America always tries to emulate europe so both cultures are mixed demographically and both are rich and rude. Was there not a long ass thread about rude europeans on here? Now when we talk about old fashioned developing countries that is different. The difference i saw was that even with no gun control at all there are no school shootings or adults being talked down or bitch slapped left and right. Do not compare to europe. One and the same to the us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ atrocities like this happen everywhere I am sorry to say, and that's not a reflection of the norm of teens and kids in any part of the world.

I grew up partly in the UK and partly on the East Coast here in the US. There were plenty of articulate, well mannered kids in my MS and HS. And there were the kids who got into fights in the corridor and got suspended. In the same way those kids existed in the UK. There were brats then as there are now, some 30 years later.

The difference I see between then and now are the kids who are raised mostly by "help". They don't learn to talk to adults in the same way. Many of them ignore parents at play dates and parties because they haven't been around adults other than those who "serve" them and as such, they are dismissive and don't engage. Its their loss and a loss for their parents who encourage such behaviors. I've seen this more on the West coast than the East I'd like to add...

Understand that there is little difference between europe amd america. America always tries to emulate europe so both cultures are mixed demographically and both are rich and rude. Was there not a long ass thread about rude europeans on here? Now when we talk about old fashioned developing countries that is different. The difference i saw was that even with no gun control at all there are no school shootings or adults being talked down or bitch slapped left and right. Do not compare to europe. One and the same to the us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we're not taught to show deference to elders. We grow up in a throw-away society, including throwing away our elders (nursing homes), rather than seeing elders as wise and experienced.

When children here interrupt they're listened to, whereas children elsewhere are taught to be quiet and listen.

OP here.

This is what I observed. Back home, we had a very strict environment in our private school. When the bell rang everyone had to be in their seats and no one can speak until they raise their hand and the teacher calls on them. We were actually not encouraged to ask questions etc.

In America the kids just had such sheer confidence. They'd strut around the halls with attitude, talk in loud voices, laugh at the teacher, joke around etc.

I'm in my thirties and still wish this easy confidence can rub on me.

It's because in other countries kids are disciplined more without the fear of being called out for child abuse. Teachers in other countries are known to physically hit kids when they misbehave and seem to have as much authority as the parents. In America kids run the show because they are more protected and parents give them what they want or don't pay attention to what their kids are doing and give them more independence at a young age hence the reason kids have sex at earlier ages and misbehave in school and are just rude all around.

THAT IS COMPLETELY BULSHI. I visit my friend in Budapest and kids there have full sexual relationships by 13/14. Definitely by 15. The idea that American teens are sexually active at a younger age is hogwash

Agreed. Europeans teens have sex MUCH earlier than American teens. And, in fact, American Millennial teens have been maintaining their virginity until later than their older peers. It's an interesting trend.

I'm 35 and I've dated many European women. Nearly all lost their virginity at 13 or 14. Whereas I was 17, along with most of my American friends (men and women). By the time Europeans are 17, they've usually been having sex for 3 or 4 years and have had multiple partners. At least that's what I've heard from the German, Austrian, and French women I've dated.

Fyi teens today are generation x like kylie jenner as an example and many are more sexually woke than i was. I am an older millenial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you think is confidence is really disrespectful behavior. That might be tolerated in urban areas but not where I come from. Never has, never will.

Manners seem to be disappearing, being vulgar taking it's place. Snowflakes need melting.

No, there's a difference between confidence and disrespect. I've read novels written in the 70s that also noticed this difference between American teens and European teens.

European teens can be just as "confident" and/or "disrespectful" as American teens. I've lived in Europe for years and seen it first hand.

Understand that there is little difference between europe amd america. America always tries to emulate europe so both cultures are mixed demographically and both are rich and rude. Was there not a long ass thread about rude europeans on here? Now when we talk about old fashioned developing countries that is different. The difference i saw was that even with no gun control at all there are no school shootings or adults
ing talked down or bitch slapped left and right. Do not compare to europe. One and the same to the us.

1) Who's "us"?
2) Where is this mythical place where there is no gun control at all?
3) Regardless of where you're from, you're extremely pretentious and arrogant yourself. Not sure you have any room to criticize others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I know what gave you that perception. (not talking about entitled, rude brats that abound in the DMV). As an immigrant from Eastern Europe, I can see this confidence in my DD. The norm for me growing up, and for every other kid, was to be criticized by your parents, in my case mom mostly, non stop. "What do you think you are doing," "you are wearing that?" And then more select ones about my morality, ineptitude, etc. Not for a public forum. I was a great student, got into all the best schools and got into college. While college is free, my track accepted 53 applicants from the whole country. So, not in any way a problem kid, nor irresponsible. I made sure that I didn't raise my kids this way, I praise my kids, I don't use what she tells me as a weapon later on. I might be over doing it, tbh. It has to do with how you are being raised. If I yell, or make a mistake, I apologize. I asked my mom recently why she never gave me compliments when I was a child, she said why would she, her job is to correct the wrong.

I agree. I am an immigrant from Asia. I was the shining example of my high school but I was seldom appraised, at least criticized a lot more than praised. The criticism internalizes and affects my self confidence. I never felt OK just being myself, I felt I had to meet all the external requirements for me to be worthy.

Children are encouraged here, from parents and especially teachers, and most importantly they are told they are OK to be themselves. I think it is a lot healthier. It has nothing to do with disrespect. My kids grew up to be sensitive and considerate because it is the way they are treated, not because they are scared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Politeness and respect for elders is so ingrained in me that even now I naturally defer to my bosses and in laws and parents.

I dont believe in giving respect just cos someone is older to me. I love my parents dearly, but i do not defer to them automatically and queation some of their regressive ideologies openly. To me respect is only based on character and not based on age.

So that is why a group of thugged out kids slapped around my moms 50 yr old coworker. That is why a kid slammed down the body of a older woman when she asked them to respectfully quiet down the loud music and a 17 yr old raped a 90 yr old woman. GTFO with your disrespect for elders. It is the reason Americas kids are violent and are shittier by the year.

What a stupid extrapolation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because Americans are instilled from birth that they are exceptional simply because they're Americans.

I agree but it's so delusional as to actually be sad. Nothing exceptional about the US anymore (except in bad ways maybe).

I disagree. While the U.S. certainly has its flaws, so does every other country in the world. I've traveled extensively and enjoyed some of those countries; but would never want to be a citizen of any country other than the U.S. We are exceptional.

Whatever. Oh ??!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My experience is similar to the OP. I didn't really gain any confidence until I left home. My parents have been very authoritarian. I watch my own young kids assert their opinions and preferences and think back to my own upbringing. The biggest difference is that in my parents' culture, respect only goes one way, up toward your elders, teachers, people in authority. Parents respecting their kids' personhood was unheard of. For example, I have a say in how my son's haircut should look like, but I would not force him to sport a style that he loathes. My mom had no such qualms and always insisted that the hairdresser cut it extremely short so I looked like a tomboy, even well into my teenage years. It's just one small example.

Totally agree. In many traditional cultures parents love their kids but treat them like their personal possession instead of separate human beings. It is total hypocricy. And kids know it and internalize it. They must pay respect to the elders and powerful, but are total jerks to their maids, subordinates,... total cowards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all American kids have confidence. It sounds like you are describing the extroverted kids.

I think OP is talking about on average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Politeness and respect for elders is so ingrained in me that even now I naturally defer to my bosses and in laws and parents.

I dont believe in giving respect just cos someone is older to me. I love my parents dearly, but i do not defer to them automatically and queation some of their regressive ideologies openly. To me respect is only based on character and not based on age.

So that is why a group of thugged out kids slapped around my moms 50 yr old coworker. That is why a kid slammed down the body of a older woman when she asked them to respectfully quiet down the loud music and a 17 yr old raped a 90 yr old woman. GTFO with your disrespect for elders. It is the reason Americas kids are violent and are shittier by the year.

What a stupid extrapolation.

If you read the news it happens everyday in DC, MD, and VA. You seem very naiive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you think is confidence is really disrespectful behavior. That might be tolerated in urban areas but not where I come from. Never has, never will.

Manners seem to be disappearing, being vulgar taking it's place. Snowflakes need melting.

No, there's a difference between confidence and disrespect. I've read novels written in the 70s that also noticed this difference between American teens and European teens.

European teens can be just as "confident" and/or "disrespectful" as American teens. I've lived in Europe for years and seen it first hand.

Understand that there is little difference between europe amd america. America always tries to emulate europe so both cultures are mixed demographically and both are rich and rude. Was there not a long ass thread about rude europeans on here? Now when we talk about old fashioned developing countries that is different. The difference i saw was that even with no gun control at all there are no school shootings or adults
ing talked down or bitch slapped left and right. Do not compare to europe. One and the same to the us.

1) Who's "us"?
2) Where is this mythical place where there is no gun control at all?
3) Regardless of where you're from, you're extremely pretentious and arrogant yourself. Not sure you have any room to criticize others.

US. I type quickly and frankly don't give a fuck what priss tight people on here think of my grammar on an online forum where anything goes. Various peaceful countries in south america have NO GUN CONTROL and don't have the violence the us does. I don't see how I am pretentious or arrogant when stating the obvious. Rather it seems more pretentious and arrogant to me when posters say they lived in a rich country and rich kids are not polite anymore because they were raised by maids as one poster said. That posters opinion only applies to a small demographic.

[Anonymous]

UMC Americans, you mean? Simple. Entitlement.

[Anonymous]

My kids are taught to show respect to their elders, just as I was. I do not care if all of the kids around them feel entitled, mine will not grow up this way. Not all American kids are like this. Some of us teach our children about respect, hard work, values, and that nothing is free in this life. My kids do what I say when I say because I am in charge, not them. My 12 yr old wants to go into the military. I told him the time to start learning that type of discipline is now. By the time he's 18 he'll be well on his way to being a model soldier. I have lived a hard life. I do not expect my children to get off with living a soft one. Life IS hard.

[Anonymous]

I am an Indian woman who was raised by very progressive parents in India. I truly feel that they had a great part in making me the person that I am today. I still respect my elders and I am unfailingly polite to people around me. Confidence is not the same as rudeness, politeness is not the same as meekness. Can you stand up to someone who is older than you or in a position of power when they are spewing hate or nonsense? If you can, then you are not lacking in confidence or courage.

[Anonymous]

American culture values more extroverted people, leaders, innovators, critical thinking, creativity. Therefore, children are raised and encouraged to speak up, share their opinions and criticisms, gain leadership experience, create instead of copy. All of this leads to confidence in one's self. I think in other countries introversion is more valued (I read the book Quiet: the Power of Introverts), speaking up is considered rude or disrespectful, kids are expected to absorb rather than invent or lead.