impact of going part time at work on your marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in school full time. I work 4 days a week and explicitly take Monday’s off (today) to do the exact chores you do not want to do. This is because it benefits ALL of us. By me doing all that I will do today, makes it so that the entire family can enjoy each other this week. I’ve already done all of the grocery shopping, all of the laundry (or at least what was left over from the weekend), I’m headed to Costco shortly, I’m working on meal prep for the entire week so dinners will take no more than 10min to assemble, and the house will be pretty much organized from top to bottom.

Frankly I do not see my abbreviated schedule as an opportunity for leisure, while my DH has to be at the office. I see it as an opportunity for our entire family to benefit from me powering through 8 hours of domestic work, so that all of us can have healthy meals, an organized home, and parents who get off work the rest of the week and can focus on family time, not running around stressed out.

This sounds great.

It sounds great if you don't mind, or actually enjoy some of this work. If you hate every minute of it, it's not great. And therein lies the problem. This stuff has to get done in every family by somebody, whether or not there's a person in the family who can do it without wanting to blow his/her brains out by day 12 of doing it. And if there's not, the woman gets stuck with it. For some of us, the answer is to pay someone else to do it.

Sounds great, but most people can't afford a personal grocery shopper, personal chef, personal laundress, persinla Costco shopper all rolled into one hassle free employee. I say this as someone with a housekeeper, who is great at somw things, but certainly could nwver prep our meals. It would take way too much explaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in school full time. I work 4 days a week and explicitly take Monday’s off (today) to do the exact chores you do not want to do. This is because it benefits ALL of us. By me doing all that I will do today, makes it so that the entire family can enjoy each other this week. I’ve already done all of the grocery shopping, all of the laundry (or at least what was left over from the weekend), I’m headed to Costco shortly, I’m working on meal prep for the entire week so dinners will take no more than 10min to assemble, and the house will be pretty much organized from top to bottom.

Frankly I do not see my abbreviated schedule as an opportunity for leisure, while my DH has to be at the office. I see it as an opportunity for our entire family to benefit from me powering through 8 hours of domestic work, so that all of us can have healthy meals, an organized home, and parents who get off work the rest of the week and can focus on family time, not running around stressed out.

This sounds great.

It sounds great if you don't mind, or actually enjoy some of this work. If you hate every minute of it, it's not great. And therein lies the problem. This stuff has to get done in every family by somebody, whether or not there's a person in the family who can do it without wanting to blow his/her brains out by day 12 of doing it. And if there's not, the woman gets stuck with it. For some of us, the answer is to pay someone else to do it.

Sounds great, but most people can't afford a personal grocery shopper, personal chef, personal laundress, persinla Costco shopper all rolled into one hassle free employee. I say this as someone with a housekeeper, who is great at somw things, but certainly could nwver prep our meals. It would take way too much explaining.

Peapod and buy Giant prepped meals.
Throw laundry in the machine in the am, dryer at night, everyone folds and puts away their own stuff
I don't go to Costco even once a year. I get things through PeaPod or Amazon Prime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in school full time. I work 4 days a week and explicitly take Monday’s off (today) to do the exact chores you do not want to do. This is because it benefits ALL of us. By me doing all that I will do today, makes it so that the entire family can enjoy each other this week. I’ve already done all of the grocery shopping, all of the laundry (or at least what was left over from the weekend), I’m headed to Costco shortly, I’m working on meal prep for the entire week so dinners will take no more than 10min to assemble, and the house will be pretty much organized from top to bottom.

Frankly I do not see my abbreviated schedule as an opportunity for leisure, while my DH has to be at the office. I see it as an opportunity for our entire family to benefit from me powering through 8 hours of domestic work, so that all of us can have healthy meals, an organized home, and parents who get off work the rest of the week and can focus on family time, not running around stressed out.

This sounds great.

It sounds great if you don't mind, or actually enjoy some of this work. If you hate every minute of it, it's not great. And therein lies the problem. This stuff has to get done in every family by somebody, whether or not there's a person in the family who can do it without wanting to blow his/her brains out by day 12 of doing it. And if there's not, the woman gets stuck with it. For some of us, the answer is to pay someone else to do it.

Sounds great, but most people can't afford a personal grocery shopper, personal chef, personal laundress, persinla Costco shopper all rolled into one hassle free employee. I say this as someone with a housekeeper, who is great at somw things, but certainly could nwver prep our meals. It would take way too much explaining.

Peapod and buy Giant prepped meals.
Throw laundry in the machine in the am, dryer at night, everyone folds and puts away their own stuff
I don't go to Costco even once a year. I get things through PeaPod or Amazon Prime.

Yuck. I'd rather work a 24hr work week, which is spectacular, even with the domestic work and I only shop at Wegmans and Whole Foods. Haven't been in a Giant in years.

I'm glad you enjoy doing all that stuff on your evenings and weekends and its great that you like Giants prepped meals. I'd do it myself before I ate that food. Different strokes. I especially loved this summer, spending time with the kids 2 full days a week. I personally feel very lucky that i can still pull in 6 figures, contribute max to retirement, and have my cake and eat it too. If i don't have to, l will never return to work FT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in school full time. I work 4 days a week and explicitly take Monday’s off (today) to do the exact chores you do not want to do. This is because it benefits ALL of us. By me doing all that I will do today, makes it so that the entire family can enjoy each other this week. I’ve already done all of the grocery shopping, all of the laundry (or at least what was left over from the weekend), I’m headed to Costco shortly, I’m working on meal prep for the entire week so dinners will take no more than 10min to assemble, and the house will be pretty much organized from top to bottom.

Frankly I do not see my abbreviated schedule as an opportunity for leisure, while my DH has to be at the office. I see it as an opportunity for our entire family to benefit from me powering through 8 hours of domestic work, so that all of us can have healthy meals, an organized home, and parents who get off work the rest of the week and can focus on family time, not running around stressed out.

I have a similar approach, but I work 3 10hr days and have off Mondays and Fridays and still get to keep full time benefits with my employer, including 401k with a generous match. I probably do 80% of the housework (DH does trash, cars, repairs, lawn and coaches our boys sports) and we have a weekly house cleaner for deep cleanings.. I love love love my arrangement. I feel relaxed, organized, healthy, and have great balance in my life. Today after I walk the kids to school, I will go on a run, grocery shop for the weekend, go to Homegoods and look for stools, go through the kids drawers to pull out clothes that don't fit, prepare for guests tonight and sit down to a glass of wine with DH at 530.

I get just enough work in that I dont feel stressed and feel like Im there for my kids. The nice thing is I'm home late Tues-Thursday (7PM) and DH is fully capable of getting the healthy food i prepped on Monday onto the table and always leaves me a plate wrapoed in plastic in the microwave for whrn I get home. He gets the kids homework done, and lunches packed for the next morning (since he gets them off to school as well those 3 days). It is a great team we have. I feel so fortunate.