Adjusting inlaws schedules to baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So they eat all their meals out? And you want to eat out but are stuck at home with a sleeping child? Will your baby not sleep in the car seat? It is not realistic to expect them to change their schedule on account of a baby. How about you and your DH swap duties, you go for brunch one day, he stays home, and he goes out for dinner, the next day you go out for dinner, and he stays home with the baby.

Not the OP, but I would not want to go out to eat with my ILs while my husband stayed home. I would try to push for one meal to be more baby-friendly. See if they can't move brunch later, and then see if you can't be more flexible on dinnertime.

Flexibility is a give and take, and who is to say baby won't fall asleep on the ride to the restaurant even if it is not nap time? Quite frankly, the fact that OP and you think that babies can't have a little change in routine and life is telling. OP states that her baby is the one with the schedule, not her. That is fine, but if that baby truly has the exact schedule, won't that baby sleep in the car seat in the restaurant too? Isn't that what baby schedule means, that this baby will sleep at this exact time, no matter where and what is happening? This is OP's inflexibility showing, not her baby's. This is very common in new mothers, everything is a life and death and must be done just so. I bet you with the second child, she will learn to loosen up. Also, having a bit cranky baby for a few days never killed the baby or the mom. OP wants to go out and eat, OP should adjust. Never before were elderly made to endure baby and mommy schedules before recent decades. OP should think of it in same terms her ILS are thinking, they are inflexible and she is inflexible, the things is that elderly had their flexibility and accommodating their ILS and parents and now it is her turn, and she doesn't know this yet, but she will learn to be more flexible until she is elderly and becomes just like her ILS. And her baby will go back to the schedule when they are back home. And if ILS are also paying, OP should suck it up.

Uh, no, that is not at all what it means. I mean, I think that OP should be flexible, too, but not all babies can sleep in car seats, and not letting a baby sleep when it is used to sleeping and when it needs to might just mean a really cranky baby. In a restaurant, which is extra misery. But if OP's in-laws are anything like you, I think she should just stay home. If it's such an inconvenience to have brunch at 11 instead of 10, then you just can go without seeing your grandchild. "NEver before were elderly made to endure baby and momma schedules"? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So they eat all their meals out? And you want to eat out but are stuck at home with a sleeping child? Will your baby not sleep in the car seat? It is not realistic to expect them to change their schedule on account of a baby. How about you and your DH swap duties, you go for brunch one day, he stays home, and he goes out for dinner, the next day you go out for dinner, and he stays home with the baby.

Not the OP, but I would not want to go out to eat with my ILs while my husband stayed home. I would try to push for one meal to be more baby-friendly. See if they can't move brunch later, and then see if you can't be more flexible on dinnertime.

Flexibility is a give and take, and who is to say baby won't fall asleep on the ride to the restaurant even if it is not nap time? Quite frankly, the fact that OP and you think that babies can't have a little change in routine and life is telling. OP states that her baby is the one with the schedule, not her. That is fine, but if that baby truly has the exact schedule, won't that baby sleep in the car seat in the restaurant too? Isn't that what baby schedule means, that this baby will sleep at this exact time, no matter where and what is happening? This is OP's inflexibility showing, not her baby's. This is very common in new mothers, everything is a life and death and must be done just so. I bet you with the second child, she will learn to loosen up. Also, having a bit cranky baby for a few days never killed the baby or the mom. OP wants to go out and eat, OP should adjust. Never before were elderly made to endure baby and mommy schedules before recent decades. OP should think of it in same terms her ILS are thinking, they are inflexible and she is inflexible, the things is that elderly had their flexibility and accommodating their ILS and parents and now it is her turn, and she doesn't know this yet, but she will learn to be more flexible until she is elderly and becomes just like her ILS. And her baby will go back to the schedule when they are back home. And if ILS are also paying, OP should suck it up.

NP - yeah, no. We tried the on the in laws schedule thing and all that left us with was a screaming, overstimulated, exhausted baby. Have you ever tried to calm a flailing baby so upset and tired he won't even nurse even though it's been hours since he last did so? Thankfully, for all their faults, they modified their preferred schedule to accommodate his needs.

[Anonymous]

I don't see what the big deal is. Nurse your kid at 7, let him down for his nap from 9:30-11, call a babysister, and then go out and eat an adult meal at 10am with your ILs.

Come back. Nurse. Do you own thing. Let him eat his 5pm dinner and then see if your ILs want to order delivery while he sleeps for the rest of the night.

[Anonymous]

I think DH could ask them to order dinner to eat in at the house together. Or if the baby is asleep for the night, that's an easy time to get a babysitter as PP suggested.

It's your husband's family so he should be the one having these discussions with his family. What is his take on all of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the big deal is. Nurse your kid at 7, let him down for his nap from 9:30-11, call a babysister, and then go out and eat an adult meal at 10am with your ILs.

Come back. Nurse. Do you own thing. Let him eat his 5pm dinner and then see if your ILs want to order delivery while he sleeps for the rest of the night.

PP 01:53 - the babysitter wouldn't have flown with my in-laws. They wanted the baby there all the time when we were together. OP - you and your DH need to figure out what compromises work for the three of you - ordering in is a good suggestion and then once you are in the same page, he needs to handle his parents. You will need to make some adjustments but if they refuse make any as well it might be better for you guys to hold off visiting them until your baby is older and can handle routine changes better.

[Anonymous]

Here's your mantra ~ You are not to take offense. You are not to accept any criticism.

Learn now because is many families there may be other issues that happen in older age ranges ... "why can't you let your DC go jet-skiing??... why can't you let your DC go to this party with their much-older cousin?? ....