Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

You sound like my twin.

I see your point, but with the stock market going gangbusters this year (up 14 percent), it's smarter to invest your cash than take on a loan that is likely costing you no more than 2-3 percent (and many times 0 percent when dealers are having events). My investment accounts are going bonkers and I've made much more money than I would save by buying a car with cash.

I get it, but we have plenty of investments and it really simplifies the car buying process if you don't need financing. Plus loans on used cars (which we usually buy) are often higher. Plus it's one less electronic payment to manage each month. And just mentally it feels good to be debt free outside of our mortgage.

Completely agree. We buy all our cars with cash only. No car payments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.

Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.

Totally. I don't every assume SAHMs are wealthy unless there is a ton of OTT factors at play

Really? Huh. Interesting. I am the opposite, I usually assume their husbands must make a lot of $$$$$ Most of the SAHMs I know have cleaning ladies, part time or even full time nannies, houses in "good" school districts, expensive cars (50k + SUVs), pricey gym memberships and exercise classes (pure barre etc.) and kids are in private preschool and extracurriculars.

I'm a SAHM with all of those things (oh wait, no nanny because I didn't want one). I've literally never, ever seen someone else with nice things and assumed they are in debt. I have a ton of SAHM friends and in our early 40's most families are buying second or third homes (vacation homes) and there is no doubt- they have the money.

How's life in you very small bubble of wealth and privilege?

DP, but how's your life in your smoldering bubble of envy and bitterness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.

Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.

Totally. I don't every assume SAHMs are wealthy unless there is a ton of OTT factors at play

Really? Huh. Interesting. I am the opposite, I usually assume their husbands must make a lot of $$$$$ Most of the SAHMs I know have cleaning ladies, part time or even full time nannies, houses in "good" school districts, expensive cars (50k + SUVs), pricey gym memberships and exercise classes (pure barre etc.) and kids are in private preschool and extracurriculars.

I'm a SAHM with all of those things (oh wait, no nanny because I didn't want one). I've literally never, ever seen someone else with nice things and assumed they are in debt. I have a ton of SAHM friends and in our early 40's most families are buying second or third homes (vacation homes) and there is no doubt- they have the money.

How's life in you very small bubble of wealth and privilege?

I guess it's good enough that I don't have to look at others through my envy bubble and assume they are all in debt.

Hey- if you have a lot of money and live a very austere life I think that that's great! If you are like most people, though, you'd buy a home that fits your family nicely. You'd live in a good school district or be able to afford private. You would probably take some nice vacations. None of that is so awful, if you can afford it. You'd also probably do what we do, which is to donate between 10 and 15% of your earnings to those less fortunate. None of that makes anyone a villain, to me.

+1000

[Anonymous]

You may say I'm tacky, I say I'm inspirational. I love money and money loves me. I sleep with cash to show my appreciation. I'm so happy I have money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

+1
We must be living parallel lives. I can't stand outward displays of wealth, so no one would really know that we are wealthy.

I never knew there were so many of us! I wish there was a wink or a hand signal or something so we'd know each other.

[Anonymous]

H inherited several million from his mom. I will inherit similar amts from each my mother & my father. We have 3 kids & one car (Volvo wagon). We both work. No cleaning lady. We keep $hit real. We also live with /around people who have much more than we do.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting. My husband came from money, and we've had some help, but mostly we live a typical middle class lifestyle. Both work, drive the same cars for 15+ years, I wear modest diamond rings, handed down from both our grandmothers.
You wouldn't suspect the trust we have, and I think that's probably a good thing. I'm concerned for our safety. I want my kids to look neat and my home nice, but I don't want to draw too much attention. There's a lot of unrest these days. I get nervous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

+1
We must be living parallel lives. I can't stand outward displays of wealth, so no one would really know that we are wealthy.

Meh. You guys are usually the ones with Neverfull LV bags (the big ones, not the smaller ones) - so it seems more than slightly contradictory to what you are posting on an anon. forum. Just so you know.

[Anonymous]

I don't downplay what I am worth or how much is liquid but I also don't brag or live lavishly. We live well in a neighborhood that is considered to be UMC and drive nice vehicles. I don't consider us wealthy but we are well off but some would consider us wealthy. But, that is because it's a matter or perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

+1
We must be living parallel lives. I can't stand outward displays of wealth, so no one would really know that we are wealthy.

Meh. You guys are usually the ones with Neverfull LV bags (the big ones, not the smaller ones) - so it seems more than slightly contradictory to what you are posting on an anon. forum. Just so you know.

I'm one of the PPs who said this sounds like me. I wouldn't be caught dead with one of those bags.

[Anonymous]

Why would you not have a cleaning lady if you had millions? I own my house outright and drive inexpensive cars, but why would I want to spend all my time cleaning my house? How would anyone even know whether I had one and don't most people who can afford one have one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.

Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???

H has an Audi s6 and a Porsche Baxter S and I have a Lexus GX.

Dude, you don't qualify. You are the epitome of obnoxious "look at me! look at me!" wealth, otherwise you wouldn't have bought a Porsche. Show yourself out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

+1
We must be living parallel lives. I can't stand outward displays of wealth, so no one would really know that we are wealthy.

Meh. You guys are usually the ones with Neverfull LV bags (the big ones, not the smaller ones) - so it seems more than slightly contradictory to what you are posting on an anon. forum. Just so you know.

I'm one of the PPs who said this sounds like me. I wouldn't be caught dead with one of those bags.

Ditto. The "meh" poster doesn't get it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

+1
We must be living parallel lives. I can't stand outward displays of wealth, so no one would really know that [b]we are wealthy.

I never knew there were so many of us! I wish there was a wink or a hand signal or something so we'd know each other.

I wonder how close in wealth the two of you are, are you similar or does one wealthy person have a networth of $1.2M and the other a networth of $12M?

[Anonymous]

I think it's odd to have millions yet "pretend" you don't. Why not just give the money away so it's helping others rather than hoard it and continue to try to earn more? It's so backwards!!!