Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...

[Anonymous]

Easy for us - we don't appear to have much. Tiny house, basic Japanese cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.

Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???

H has an Audi s6 and a Porsche Baxter S and I have a Lexus GX.

Those aren't rich people cars. My neighbor has a Maserati and a Rolls. I would never think you were wealthy unless you drove a high end car like a Maybach or Aston Martin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.

Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???

H has an Audi s6 and a Porsche Baxter S and I have a Lexus GX.

Audi S6 is a good low-key car. It looks like just a regular A6 except to a person who really knows cars. Compare that to a Ferrari.

Um, the S6 is a lot more expensive than the A6, though.
- DW of S4 owner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.

Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???

H has an Audi s6 and a Porsche Baxter S and I have a Lexus GX.

Those aren't rich people cars. My neighbor has a Maserati and a Rolls. I would never think you were wealthy unless you drove a high end car like a Maybach or Aston Martin.

Haha yeah they're totally middle class with over 100k worth of car sitting in the driveway

Just like me and my 20k civic.

[Anonymous]

What about people who didn't have money, now they do, and now they think they are better? (What DCUM calls "new money".)

Or what about people that are pretentious, but it's their parents money (they may or may not see any of it, ever)?

What about people that come from money, but try too hard to be down to earth?

All levels are possible, I suppose.....

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes people incorrectly assume the cost of items. Years ago a friend asked about my diamond stud earrings - had said she'd been admiring them a long time. I confessed they were fakes from Ann Taylor that I had scooped up on sale. I wore them all the time because I didn't spend more money on earrings.

I also spent months looking for a deal on a used BMW SUV. I was psyched that I got it for 24K though many people said they thought I'd spent double that.

[Anonymous]

Yes and at times I'm over it -- I want to be driving a luxury car, wearing a Rolex and high end designer everything. And then at other times I know I'm just not flashy enough to pull it off.

[Anonymous]

We have a 7 year old new construction home, a 12 year old vehicle, a new one I rarely drive that stays in the garage. No one would know we have no debt. Zero. Maybe the Fed Ex and UPS drivers think we have money because I order online a lot but other than that no one knows and quite frankly I doubt they care.

I never was one to flaunt. It's considered bad manners where I come from.

[Anonymous]

Most of my money is in my house. No one would assume I own a $2.2M home outright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think sometimes people incorrectly assume the cost of items. Years ago a friend asked about my diamond stud earrings - had said she'd been admiring them a long time. I confessed they were fakes from Ann Taylor that I had scooped up on sale. I wore them all the time because I didn't spend more money on earrings.

I also spent months looking for a deal on a used BMW SUV. I was psyched that I got it for 24K though many people said they thought I'd spent double that.

It kind of sounds like you want to look like you own expensive flashy items, so of course people assume that. Why not buy a brand new VW SUV instead of a used BMW and why not silver earrings instead of fake diamonds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

You sound like my twin.

I see your point, but with the stock market going gangbusters this year (up 14 percent), it's smarter to invest your cash than take on a loan that is likely costing you no more than 2-3 percent (and many times 0 percent when dealers are having events). My investment accounts are going bonkers and I've made much more money than I would save by buying a car with cash.

We have no debt, own our 2 mill home in Bethesda, paid cash for our car and kids cars and paid college free and clear. I am a SAHM and our net worth is well over ten million. We do not drive range rivers and you will never see my real jewelry collection in this area. We hid it because we do t want to be seen as that group of people even though we worked our asses off to have this life. We never tell anyone we paid cash for cars and we downplay any travel as work related. The kids play the game too, in fact they're better at it than us. Society has made it a stigma to show your success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.

Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.

+1. My first thought would be "you are loaded down with debt."

DP, but you'd be wrong. Most people who are fortunate to live like the PP (I'm in a similar situation) are excellent money managers. I find an interesting phenomenon on DCUM - people who are envious of others (see other thread also) always ascribe terrible problems to the fortunate people's lives. As if, they *have* to have serious issues to balance out their perfect and happy exterior. It's really just envy speaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

+1
We must be living parallel lives. I can't stand outward displays of wealth, so no one would really know that we are wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.

+1
I have a friend who posts on FB both interior and exterior shots of her new, leased luxury cars! It's the most gauche thing, I just cringe when she does things like that. She didn't grow up wealthy, and so now that she is, she really wants people to know it. It's completely the opposite of how I feel about wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.

Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.

+1. My first thought would be "you are loaded down with debt."

+3

I don't understand this. You can't pay for a lot of things with debt.

Yep. The families who are living paycheck to paycheck are the ones who usually have a lot of debt. Not those who have robust savings accounts.