ANTI-CHILDREN wedding? can't even bring children to the resort even if you have your own babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think "lunatic" was harsh, too, by the way. People on these boards seem to have a lmited vocabulary to describe those disagree with... If that lady is a lunatic, what do you call, I dunno, actual crazy people?

I think it's crazy (not really -- sheesh!) not to want kids at your wedding. What's more memorable than the maximum number of kids possible yelling during the vows, running around during the toasts, whatever? That's what makes it fun and not stuffy, as far as my husband and I are concerned. My nephews had such a great time at my wedding four years ago they still talk about it.

But to each his or her own...

You criticize the vocabulary of DCUM posters and then write a post that clearly demonstrates you have no reading comprehension. Interesting. OP seems to have no problem with the no kids at the wedding part (or at any of the wedding-related functions). She was commenting on and asking about the couple's request that children not even be brought to the resort at which they are holding their wedding. The latter being, in my opinion, beyond ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

"why assume those of us that do not want to leave our children for a weekend do not have a life. I would never leave my children for a weekend. They are only 3 and 6. Not only do we have a life, we have a great, fun life with our children. We had a great, fun life without them before they were born. Love having them with us. They love it too. Maybe you should include your children in more of your life and you can see how wonderful life can actually be. "

I do - I don't go to work. I know exactly how wonderful it is to have them with me all the time. Therefore, I enjoy vacations without them. Obviously, we're different. That last sentence, btw, is just as judgemental and juvenile as the other posts putting down moms who won't leave thier kids at home for a weekend.

Anyway, I would go with the kids and the sitter. The resort is not their property. And how would they even know? If you don't take them to any of the wedding activities they shouldn't even see the kids.

[Anonymous]

Sorry - leave THEIR kids at home. Since the English majors seem to be out tonight.

[Anonymous]

Don't go. These are the type of people who will have kids in a few years and never stop talking about them, sending pictures, and two page year-end summaries about how magnificent and brilliant the child is.

The email pinpointed you, as you are the only couple w/kids invited, and it was rude. I would personally not show up and, when they ask you why, just tell them your babysitter cancelled at the last minute.

[maynie]

Definitely go with your original plan. It makes the most sense. Worst case scenario, you'll have to stay someplace other than the resort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lunatic? Really girls, if that is a lunatic in your view, don't know what to say to that silliness.

Several of you insist not being able to leave the kiddies for one single weekend?!? In my opinion, (btw I was agreeing with another poster who said the EXACT same thing) that is not having a life outside the kids (I didn't say you don't have any life). You don't have to agree or like it.

And, love the fact that you all don't want folks questioning your choices but you'll readily and anonomously trash and name call people who express questions or opinion that differ from yours. Nice!

Op - or whoever- I wasn't being "angry" and not sure why you assumed that. I was simply pointing out that you cannot control the couple's wishes and demands. You can only control your decisions and so you should make your decisions based on your family needs and then not apologize for that decision. That's all . . .

So narrow-minded. Why must they leave their children for the entire weekend in order to have a life outside the kids? Maybe they have a very active "couples" life with regular dates and childless outings with friends? Why is the entire weekend the litmus test for having an appropriately balanced life in your eyes? I wasn't questioning your choices (of which I know none). You're actually the one that started throwing flames at those who didn't want to leave their kids. I don't think anyone has said anything criticizing you for leaving your children.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised how many people are saying "don't go." I'm in the "just go and take the kids and screw their ridiculous wishes." The email response a pp posted was a tactful way of at least giving them a heads up about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't go. These are the type of people who will have kids in a few years and never stop talking about them, sending pictures, and two page year-end summaries about how magnificent and brilliant the child is.

Oh, God, yes....YES!

This is a bizarre request. I have no time for people this controlling. I understand people should have the kind of wedding they want, but this email shows no class. I agree with poster who wondered what ever happened to being a good host? Good grief.

[Anonymous]

A good friend rejoices in the marriage and makes room for the new spouse into his or her heart and home.

It isn't about going to their party, but about including the new couple in your life.

I wouldn't go, or at best, I would send hubby alone. You don't owe ANYONE a whole weekend extravaganza. It is only a party.

[Anonymous]

Okay- chiming in here- can't believe this thread is still going on- sounds like hubby is passive and wouldn't say anything anyway or stand up on any issue against their wishes- so either OP sucks it up and goes or she send him alone. I have a DH who wouldn't say anything either so I'd be steaming up too.. sounds like Op doesn't have weekend care for the kids so I'd opt towards letting him go alone. Sucks- but you adapt to your partner's style.. it;s his friend.

[Anonymous]

Just as many folks are finding the bridal couple's request for no kids at the resort to be rude, I find the suggestion to outright ignore their stated request to be rather offensive.

The couple has stated their wishes. So be it. I imagine they are aware of the possible repercussions (e.g. declined invitations).

If you disagree with their request, or otherwise cannot make appropriate accomidations, just don't go. And like some others have said, you really need not provide an explanation. But to ignore a known aspect of their event.....that is out of line. [Please, no comments back about the couple being out of line for making this decree.....it is their event.....invited guests who take issue should just decline politely.]

[Anonymous]

The email pinpointed you, as you are the only couple w/kids invited, and it was rude. Your husband seems to have such a great friend...I wish I could have such friends. As far as sending hubby alone to the wedding NO. You were both invited. Your husband needs to take a hard look at this friend. If a friend of mine said this-knowing that only I had children I would not go PERIOD Even if I could bring a sitter just to make a point to them about being so rude and I would not send a gift. In fact, I would just I would cut ties with this friend all together.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the outlandish request this couple is making. DH and I had a 'destination wedding' per se in Annapolis as most friends and all family were from out of town and some overseas. Because we knew most people would not be able to leave children at home yet for a formal evening reception - many would have more fun without children - we held a separate kids reception at the hotel eveyone was staying at. I hired some babysitters that we knew and had the hospitality roon decorated, had kid friendly meals,movies and games - all wedding themed. We also had some folks bring their babysitters with them and they all went to the kids reception. Parents gave thier cell phone numbers to the sitters and then took turns going back to check on things and make sure 'bed time' was enforced with sleeping bags. We had 27 kids at the event and even my nieces who were all in the wedding wanted to go to the kids party. The added expense was minimal and it was really appreciated by friends and family.

I vote for sending DH alone or you going together but if you have family in the area - just hang out with them. I don;t think I would be comfortable going with the kids b/c I am sure you will get attitude not just from them but from others...and while you may be able to deal with that, why would you want to. Save the family vacation for a much more pleasant atmosphere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just as many folks are finding the bridal couple's request for no kids at the resort to be rude, I find the suggestion to outright ignore their stated request to be rather offensive.

The couple has stated their wishes. So be it. I imagine they are aware of the possible repercussions (e.g. declined invitations).

If you disagree with their request, or otherwise cannot make appropriate accomidations, just don't go. And like some others have said, you really need not provide an explanation. But to ignore a known aspect of their event.....that is out of line. [Please, no comments back about the couple being out of line for making this decree.....it is their event.....invited guests who take issue should just decline politely.]

I can understand and respect the request of the bridal couple, but to outright ban children from the resort is taking it too far. They did not rent out the entire resort to do so...Other families will be there with children as well (maybe OP can remind them to call the resort to have them ask all guest not to bring children) so the resort itself will not be child free..If OP is paying for the room her children and babysitter are using, covering all their expenses and keeping the children completely AWAY from all wedding related functions/activities then I don't see the problem. The only problem I see is with the bridal couple.

[Anonymous]

I still can't believe how many people are going on and on about bringing kids to the wedding and reception. That's not the issue, the OP is happy not doing that, and bringing a babysitter with her. The entire ridiculousness is banning the children from the resort where the wedding will be, presumably, taking place. I think that goes a bit too far, and is clearly an infringement upon the rights of the OP and her family. She should be able to bring them to the resort, should she so wish, as long as all of her activities wind up being child-free.

Personally, I would be so put off by this, that I would either not go, or have DH go with out me.