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ANTI-CHILDREN wedding? can't even bring children to the resort even if you have your own babysitter?
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Anonymous
| How weird! They can't make the WHOLE RESORT look the way they want for their wedding weekend. I hope there is a hyper toddler convention sharing the resort that weekend. I would check with the resort about kids policy, firm up your plans with the sitter, and go with the family, and enjoy yourself. |
Anonymous
LOVE IT. |
Anonymous
op here...if it were just anyone, i would bag it and not go, but this is a good friend of my husbands although i don't think he is really that good to my husband to be honest, but that is a different story. anyway, my husband enjoys having him as a friend and since they live in town i'm afraid it will cause a rift between them if we don't go. hubbie can't and won't deal with conflict so i know he will never even ask them about the kid situation. maybe someone's suggestion about staying at a nearby resort will work. as for the person who thinks we are crazy for not wanting to leave our children, i guess that is just how we feel. i don't know. we don't have any family here and i don't feel comfortable leaving them alone with a nanny or sitter for the weekend at this point. my parents are elderly and don't travel and that about sums it up. i have some "help" so he and i do get out alone a lot so maybe we don't have this burning urge to get away b/c we go out every weekend alone. anyway, i'm sure we'll change some day, but right now for whatever reason that is my gut feeling so i am just following it. i have learned as i get older to not "push" myself into things that don't feel comfortable and i seem happier when i follow my gut. thanks for all of your responses! |
Anonymous
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To OP,
Good for you. I hope it all works out! |
Anonymous
. Why on earth would you assume they have no life outside the kids? Not everyone can afford multiple vacations a year. Many people actually like to vacation with their kids and prefer it. So it's possible that this is one of those couples who can't afford (or don't want to spend money on) many vacations in one year and chooses to do so with their children? Maybe they have a standing date night without kids every week? A regular sitter for Saturday nights? How could you possibly know? Maybe they work 60 hours a week and, thus, have huge parts of their lives without their children, making weekends very important. You just don't know. And really, "either do or don't" is the solution? That's simply brilliant! No shit?? Obviously it's go or don't. That's what she's asking. What else could it be? |
Anonymous
yikes! why so angry? just asking for advice. things aren't always yes or no, especially when you are putting other people's feelings into the equation. if i had my druthers, we wouldn't go, but i have my husband's feelings to think about so that makes my decision a bit more difficult. |
Anonymous
| Just ignore the lunatic, OP. There's always at least one in a thread. I wouldn't go even if I had good childcare options, which it sounds like you don't. That should be the first consideration and a deal-breaker. |
Anonymous
| If it was my decision and I had already planned on taking the sitter and the kids , I would do it. As long as I knew the resort wasn't childfree and I wasn't taking them to wedding events. I would so pack up my kids and the sitter and go. Screw the couple, they cannot force the whole no kids at the resort thing. That is so ridiculous! |
Anonymous
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I don't know what I'd do, but I agree that it is STRANGE for them to forbid them from the resort. Obviously they can't do that (unless it is a kid free resort, which OP says it isn't), but why even try to? So strange. Is it a big resort? If so, screw them and bring the kids anyways. You can respect their wishes by not including them at the wedding, but why shouldn't you bring them to the resort? I understand a "no kids policy" at weddings, but please - the entire weekend? I'm sure the resort will have other guests there as well with kids, so what difference does it make?
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Anonymous
hear hear! 
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Anonymous
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OP, does your husband understand that it is possible to avoid confrontation without knuckling under? Just keep it matter of fact: "We've got a sitter for the wedding and reception but we'll be spending the rest of the week/weekend having a family vacation at the resort."
Or, "Sorry, but we aren't going to be able to make it to the wedding." Omit details, refuse to argue. Honestly, if the info went out via e-mail, it seems as though they don't want to get into it with anyone. They just want to have their way. Too bad. |
Anonymous
why assume those of us that do not want to leave our children for a weekend do not have a life. I would never leave my children for a weekend. They are only 3 and 6. Not only do we have a life, we have a great, fun life with our children. We had a great, fun life without them before they were born. Love having them with us. They love it too. Maybe you should include your children in more of your life and you can see how wonderful life can actually be. |
Anonymous
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Since they sent the request by email, I would simply respond via email with something like this:
"We are very excited to attend your wedding and completley understand about having no children at any wedding related events and will happily respect your wishes. However, we are not comfortable leaving the kids at home so far away and for so long, and since this is not a kids-free resort, we will be bringing our children AND a babysitter (so we can enjoy all the wedding events events kid-free). Again, we are very much looking forward to this special event with you. " I would probably leave it at that. Or you could include something at the end like, "I really hope this arrangement does not trouble you too much. If it does, then we will sadly have to stay home. " The END! Hopefully they will see how silly they are being. |
Anonymous
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Lunatic? Really girls, if that is a lunatic in your view, don't know what to say to that silliness.
Several of you insist not being able to leave the kiddies for one single weekend?!? In my opinion, (btw I was agreeing with another poster who said the EXACT same thing) that is not having a life outside the kids (I didn't say you don't have any life). You don't have to agree or like it. And, love the fact that you all don't want folks questioning your choices but you'll readily and anonomously trash and name call people who express questions or opinion that differ from yours. Nice! Op - or whoever- I wasn't being "angry" and not sure why you assumed that. I was simply pointing out that you cannot control the couple's wishes and demands. You can only control your decisions and so you should make your decisions based on your family needs and then not apologize for that decision. That's all . . . |
Anonymous
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I think "lunatic" was harsh, too, by the way. People on these boards seem to have a lmited vocabulary to describe those disagree with... If that lady is a lunatic, what do you call, I dunno, actual crazy people?
I think it's crazy (not really -- sheesh!) not to want kids at your wedding. What's more memorable than the maximum number of kids possible yelling during the vows, running around during the toasts, whatever? That's what makes it fun and not stuffy, as far as my husband and I are concerned. My nephews had such a great time at my wedding four years ago they still talk about it. But to each his or her own... |