Son says he is "considering a career in the military." Help me work through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Met my DH while he was in Navy ROTC in college. For him, it was only a means to pay for school. He went into a very difficult Navy program after graduation that gave him the skills to earn $300k / year after he got out. Then he got a master's degree at a top tier school paid for with his GI bill.

For someone who came from a family that didn't have a way to pay for college, it made sense. He didn't enjoy his time in the military or the lifestyle, and doesn't often talk about it. He's gotten a great career out of his military service, but personally, I think he feels as though some of his youth was wasted.

What career field is that lucrative from military experiences? W

One issue we see with military is that they encourage those to get degrees, but any degree that don't lead to a career field so when some leave or retire they end up at dead end jobs. My husband got an IT degree (not that poster) before he retired and has done well too. He would have liked to go directly to college but it was not an option for him.

[Anonymous]

We live in an area with lots of retired and active Army and Air Force and it's a pretty sweet deal. Pension after 20 years (while they continue to work), cheap health coverage, and access to the commissary for cheap groceries. Military discounts all over the place. And in the last five years active duty families we know have gotten to move to Hawaii, England, Belgium, the Netherlands, Norway and Germany.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell him I'm considering disowning him. I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I feel just as strongly that no child of mine will have a job that involves guns or the military.

OP, have you talked extensively with your son about your two friends who died?

You're an idiot. That's a great way to drive a teenager deeper into their commitment to doing whatever you don't want them to do.

Also, hope you enjoy going to work every day knowing how much of your taxes go to the military!

This.

[Anonymous]

We know a lot of people in the foreign service and government contractors who were in the military first. Some were enlisted but most went to college, did ROTC and fulfilled their commitment after college. It wouldn't be my first choice for my kids because I think the lifestyle is very demanding but I can also see the benefits and don't think it's the worst option or anywhere close.

Don't freak out yet, why don't you explore it together and also explore other options. I think sometimes people grab at any port in a storm - maybe this just seems like the most interesting and attainable option to him right now. I seriously considered signing up for a Marine Corps officers program after college when I was feeling very uncertain about my options. But that moment passed and I got off on a much different path.

[Anonymous]

I completely understand your concern OP. You are wise in recognizing that putting your foot down with a teenager will most likely cause them to dig their heels in even more. He's young enough right now that his career choice might change several times before he graduates college. I know I went into college thinking I was going to become a psychiatrist and by the time I graduated I had set my sights on law enforcement. You just never know how the people and experiences he will encounter over the next few years will shape his decision.

[Anonymous]

My cousin joined the Marines at 18, was never sent overseas, and after his four years of service he left the Marines as a Sergeant. He now has a great civilian job at Tinker Air Force Base. Why look on the dark side? My oldest son would love to join but was told that he couldn't because of his severe asthma. He spends his days in trees with a chainsaw, working around power lines. He could die just as easily doing that, but he's an Arborist, it's his profession since he could not join the military, and it doesn't scare me at all to think about what might happen. You can't keep your kids in a padded room all of their lives. Of course, I'm getting ready to buy a motorcycle for myself, so maybe I'm not like the rest of you, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell him I'm considering disowning him. I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I feel just as strongly that no child of mine will have a job that involves guns or the military.

OP, have you talked extensively with your son about your two friends who died?

Not even the Coast Guard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in an area with lots of retired and active Army and Air Force and it's a pretty sweet deal. Pension after 20 years (while they continue to work), cheap health coverage, and access to the commissary for cheap groceries. Military discounts all over the place. And in the last five years active duty families we know have gotten to move to Hawaii, England, Belgium, the Netherlands, Norway and Germany.

They are changing the pension Not everyone gets to go to nice places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, depending on the ADHD medication your son may not qualify for a security clearance. That could be a deal breaker.

If not, I think you need to come to terms with the fact that he is going to make his own choices once he gets to that age. If his heart leads him to service, there really isn't anything you can do about that except love him (unless you are like the PP who would disown him, which I think is horrible). I understand your fears. Truly, I do. I'm a veteran and I don't want my children to be in danger either. But he's going to do what he wants to do. Maybe take him to some air shows so he gets interested in the AF or Navy, rather than the Army?

Yeah. Cause no one ever dies in the Navy.

In OIF, the US lost about 2,000 Army troops, 750 Marines, 30 Navy (non-Marines) and 20 AF. My comment stands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell him I'm considering disowning him. I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I feel just as strongly that no child of mine will have a job that involves guns or the military.

OP, have you talked extensively with your son about your two friends who died?

I wouldn't go this route as others have said. My DH's parents expressed strong disapproval when he expressed interest in ROTC in college and it made him even more sure of his decision. I would keep it neutral and not make a big deal of it.

Fwiw my DH did ROTC in grad school and was able to commission as a lawyer once he graduated from law school. There are similar programs for those in medical school. They guarantee that the person will at least serve in their chosen field, if your DS is interested in either of those two professions. Perhaps if he is still interested in joining, put the idea of grad school ROTC in there as an option?

[Anonymous]

Spouse and I both retired. Son Active Duty. We didn't want our Son to join but he did.

It's not your call, ultimately. We spoke to our child and pointed out all the negatives we were concerned about.
He listened, but still joined.

The only thing he took our advice on was his MOS. Because of his dad's injuries from deploying in a combat arms MOS, he did choose an MOS that was not combat arms.

However, many support MOSs are right alongside the combat ppl.

No matter what, I respect from the bottom of my heart our men and women, all branches. They truly do not get enough credit for the freedom we in America enjoy and their selfless Service. Our Son sees our world very differently now. He has matured years in months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell him I'm considering disowning him. I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I feel just as strongly that no child of mine will have a job that involves guns or the military.

OP, have you talked extensively with your son about your two friends who died?

You're an idiot. That's a great way to drive a teenager deeper into their commitment to doing whatever you don't want them to do.

Also, hope you enjoy going to work every day knowing how much of your taxes go to the military!

I'm the PP with three military kids, one of whom was seriously injured in Afghanistan. I'm grateful that the majority of people appreciate our men and women in uniform. I'm saddened that a parent - any parent - would ever consider "disowning" a child for any reason. There is absolutely nothing my kids could ever do or say that would lead me to even have that thought. Rather than be angry with this poster, we should feel sad. This is a parent incapable of unconditional love. Can you imagine what it must be like for her children. Unfortunately, those wounds are hard to heal.

Its ok, people like us just have those kids join us at holidays and important occasions. We will love them unconditionally if their parents don't.

Good on you. There's nothing more forlorn than a Service Member whose idiot parents are so wrapped up in some kind of personal agenda they choose the agenda over their own kid.

[Anonymous]

My son tried to enlist in the military but was disqualified for taking ADD meds. If you have taken medication for ADD/ADHD, you will need a medical waiver to enlist.

[Anonymous]

^ interesting. Would like disqualify someone if there were a draft?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ interesting. Would like disqualify someone if there were a draft?

NP here...but yes.