Son says he is "considering a career in the military." Help me work through this.

[Anonymous]

OP - wearing glasses should not be a disqualifying issue, except maybe for the Air Force.
ADHD? I doubt that would disqualify either, although my experience with that is limited.
And, as pp said, color blindness may be a factor in the navy, but not sure about the other branches.

In a nutshell, it really depends not only on the branch of service one chooses to join, but what type of job will be done in that service.
For instance, an Air Force pilot requires excellent vision. But, the same would not be true for an Air Force mechanic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I can't imagine there wouldn't be a career path for an intelligent, ambitious young man in the military, that's not directly in the line of fire, OP.

I'm sorry two of your friends passed away in circumstances you find unfair, and I agree that these days are not the best to consider fighting for one's country, since one's values may differ.

However I think he has plenty of time to change his mind. You could also do some research and have him explore defense careers that are NOT part of the military.

I'll give you one. My husband is a surgeon for the military. Went to West Point, and then medical school paid for by the Army. While he's deployed, he's never in "the line of fire".
The military has been pretty good for us. It is a good, stable job with good benefits. We haven't moved hardly at all. The downsides, obviously, it's an inflexible schedule. Keep an open mind, OP. Lots of different career paths it could take him.

[Anonymous]

Color blindness would be a limiting factor. I would encourage you and your child to explore USNA and going the intel/cyber route. All the best to you both. I know it's not easy but it's incredibly admirable and I am grateful for those who serve and their families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I'd tell him I'm considering disowning him. I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I feel just as strongly that no child of mine will have a job that involves guns or the military.

OP, have you talked extensively with your son about your two friends who died?

You're an idiot. That's a great way to drive a teenager deeper into their commitment to doing whatever you don't want them to do.

Also, hope you enjoy going to work every day knowing how much of your taxes go to the military!

I'm the PP with three military kids, one of whom was seriously injured in Afghanistan. I'm grateful that the majority of people appreciate our men and women in uniform. I'm saddened that a parent - any parent - would ever consider "disowning" a child for any reason. There is absolutely nothing my kids could ever do or say that would lead me to even have that thought. Rather than be angry with this poster, we should feel sad. This is a parent incapable of unconditional love. Can you imagine what it must be like for her children. Unfortunately, those wounds are hard to heal.

My kids are happy and healthy and have zero interest in being cops or soldiers so it's fine. I said it when it came up once. They're not traumatized. Look, we're all entitled to our own opinions. I respect yours even though I disagree completely with the choices your children made. It would be nice if you could respect mine, but I won't hold my breath.

You enjoy the safety and freedom provided by those cops and soldiers without having to be personally involved in it, other than paying taxes. And you're teaching your kids that it's okay to enjoy those benefits without serving.

I have to admit that, while I respect your right to your point of view, I have greater respect and esteem for those who actually get out there and serve and protect their fellow citizens.

True. She is also teaching her children that there is something “wrong” with these occupations. Instead of her kids understanding the sacrifice and service of our military and police officers, she is sending the message that what they do is unacceptable. It is one thing to tell your children your hopes and dreams for their futures. It is totally something different to threaten to disown them if they should choose what many consider an honorable profession.

+ 1. I'm proud of any young women and men who serve. OP's attitude is wrong. Service provides discipline and top tier technology training. Those coming out with particular skills land great jobs. Look at Israel with its with its 2-3 year conscription for both sexes. It's worked. But OP should check on the ADHD and meds. That might be a 4-F disqualifier.

[Anonymous]

OP, there's lots of white collar occupations in the army without the risk of getting killed or maimed. Machine intel, IT, medicine, counseling etc. I can't imagine there wouldn't be in the modern army.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I would really like to avoid a fight over the morality of the military. Start a different thread for that. I just want to rationally and fairly respond to my child's stated desire to join the military despite my own fears.

If anyone could address the medical issues I brought up in the first post, I'd appreciate that, too.

Take a look at service academy forums. They have a lot of information about medical issues.

Being on ADHD medication can be an issue, it just depends on the specifics of each person's situation. The services have different rules about color deficiency, for instance red-green can be an issue with the Navy because you need to be able to see the lights on the buoys if you're a surface warfare officer.

No it doesn't just depend on the specifics - Taking ADHD meds within the past year is an automatic disqualifier for the military.

[Anonymous]

I totally missed that OP's son has ADHD.

This conversation is moot now since you cannot join the military if you take meds for ADHD or exhibit symptoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally missed that OP's son has ADHD.

This conversation is moot now since you cannot join the military if you take meds for ADHD or exhibit symptoms.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - wearing glasses should not be a disqualifying issue, except maybe for the Air Force.
ADHD? I doubt that would disqualify either, although my experience with that is limited.
And, as pp said, color blindness may be a factor in the navy, but not sure about the other branches.

In a nutshell, it really depends not only on the branch of service one chooses to join, but what type of job will be done in that service.
For instance, an Air Force pilot requires excellent vision. But, the same would not be true for an Air Force mechanic.

Walter Reed has lasik. This is not necessarily true if it is correctable now. Many active duty have glasses but their free ones are ugly.

[Anonymous]

OP, depending on the ADHD medication your son may not qualify for a security clearance. That could be a deal breaker.

If not, I think you need to come to terms with the fact that he is going to make his own choices once he gets to that age. If his heart leads him to service, there really isn't anything you can do about that except love him (unless you are like the PP who would disown him, which I think is horrible). I understand your fears. Truly, I do. I'm a veteran and I don't want my children to be in danger either. But he's going to do what he wants to do. Maybe take him to some air shows so he gets interested in the AF or Navy, rather than the Army?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell him I'm considering disowning him. I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I feel just as strongly that no child of mine will have a job that involves guns or the military.

OP, have you talked extensively with your son about your two friends who died?

You're an idiot. That's a great way to drive a teenager deeper into their commitment to doing whatever you don't want them to do.

Also, hope you enjoy going to work every day knowing how much of your taxes go to the military!

I'm an idiot whose kids are both alive, and aren't debilitated by PTSD or survivor guilt. I'll take it. And I'm fine with my taxes.

You're also a very self-centered soul.

[Anonymous]

We are a military family (West Point is expected of my child) and I don't want that life either. I'm with you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, depending on the ADHD medication your son may not qualify for a security clearance. That could be a deal breaker.

If not, I think you need to come to terms with the fact that he is going to make his own choices once he gets to that age. If his heart leads him to service, there really isn't anything you can do about that except love him (unless you are like the PP who would disown him, which I think is horrible). I understand your fears. Truly, I do. I'm a veteran and I don't want my children to be in danger either. But he's going to do what he wants to do. Maybe take him to some air shows so he gets interested in the AF or Navy, rather than the Army?

Yeah. Cause no one ever dies in the Navy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met my DH while he was in Navy ROTC in college. For him, it was only a means to pay for school. He went into a very difficult Navy program after graduation that gave him the skills to earn $300k / year after he got out. Then he got a master's degree at a top tier school paid for with his GI bill.

For someone who came from a family that didn't have a way to pay for college, it made sense. He didn't enjoy his time in the military or the lifestyle, and doesn't often talk about it. He's gotten a great career out of his military service, but personally, I think he feels as though some of his youth was wasted.

What career field is that lucrative from military experiences? W

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, depending on the ADHD medication your son may not qualify for a security clearance. That could be a deal breaker.

If not, I think you need to come to terms with the fact that he is going to make his own choices once he gets to that age. If his heart leads him to service, there really isn't anything you can do about that except love him (unless you are like the PP who would disown him, which I think is horrible). I understand your fears. Truly, I do. I'm a veteran and I don't want my children to be in danger either. But he's going to do what he wants to do. Maybe take him to some air shows so he gets interested in the AF or Navy, rather than the Army?

You don't need a clearance being active duty except some career fields. The ADHD may be an issue with Air Force or Navy but it depends on the individual.