My daughter thinks she's good at a sport but she's not

Anonymous
90% of d3 colleges have non existent admissions standards. They're scams. All the kids are forced to go to grad school because nobody values the bachelors degree.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:She'd be required to take out serious loans. It's D3. I'm not being an asshole, she only made the team because she's a senior and the coach is too nice to cut girls.

She's attempting to make a highly irrational decision fueled by her desire to continue playing a sport SHE'S NOT GOOD AT.

We're not rich. This college has no name value. Minimal employment recruiting. I could go on and on.

The bastard recruiters manipulated a kid planting these seeds in her head.


So plant some different seeds. Get her to look at the college stats--graduation rate, tuition, etc. Have her look at what programs the college offers. Explain your financial limits--what you can afford, and that she will have to take out loans or otherwise make up the rest. If you have other criteria, explain those, too--i.e., you will not pay for a school with a less than 75-percent graduation rate, or whatever. Encourage her to look at other schools that offer this sport at the club level. In other words, instead of treating her like a stupid kid, start to give her the tools to weigh options and make decisions like an adult.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:90% of d3 colleges have non existent admissions standards. They're scams. All the kids are forced to go to grad school because nobody values the bachelors degree.


Even if what you say is true, isn't the obvious solution to OP's problem to identify the DIII schools that would allow her DD to play and get a great education. Schools such as:

Bryn Mawr
Carlton College
Cal Tech
Catholic University
Colby College
University of Chicago
Claremont-Mudd-Scripps
Cornell College
Dickinson
Emory University

That's only through the first part of the alphabet. There are so many options. They are expensive, but could offer financial aid and merit aid that brings them in-line with the costs of public universities. Seems worth exploring if that is what DD wants.

Anonymous
Our child swims at a D3 school. She loves the activity, and the discipline of being on a team is great for her. The team isn't great but she really has enjoyed visiting other schools, participating in competition meets, etc.

And here's the thing -- "Not very good" in Northern Virginia might actually be "pretty darned awesome" in some other part of the country that doesn't take swimming (or life) quite so seriously. This is also true for music, drama, etc. She said she'd always thought of herself as 'not very good' at swimming compared to her peers in high school, but was surprised to find that she was more than adequate at her college. There are lots of people in Ohio, Michigan, etc. who don't go to swim clinics starting when they're three, don't get private lessons when they're two and who still swim in high school. COmpared to those kids, your daughter will be just fine..
Anonymous
Don't make it about her sport - but talk to her about how her sport will not be the ONLY aspect she considers when choosing a college, no matter what coaches/recruiters are saying to her.

What does she want to study generally? Tell her her school must have her major and a few other related ones, and must be a school where a kid gets into their majors (though may not be as much of a problem at small schools as the 10,000 person schools where it's impossible to get into basic courses). Tell her you will pay no more than $x for her education and you want her to have loans of no more than $y -- whatever X and Y are for your family. Tell her you will not pay for any school with a grad rate or employability rate below Z or a ranking below A -- if those are important criteria to you. Now given all that, if she can find a school where she can walk on to the soccer (basketball? - not sure what sport we're talking about) team or play club/intramural, great. But if not, the educational/financial criteria come first.

If she doesn't want to believe you that she isn't a top player - then I think you need to talk about - even for the best HS/college players, soccer doesn't last forever. It ends in 4 yrs or even earlier if you get injured, if the school cuts the sport - which happens all the time with non revenue generating sports etc. You need to get thru to her that your job as a parent is worrying about the solid education she needs -- she can worry about how to fit soccer within that, or not.

You seem quite harsh about why she even wants to play given that she rides the bench except for garbage time. Sometimes people benefit from a team in a way that isn't obvious to other. Yes - most normal people wouldn't want to do an activity if they were no good and got no playing time. But there are those few who love the sport so much, that they are happy to play even if it's just scout team; they live for the few min of garbage time action they get a few times a season. They don't feel looked down upon for being less talented - often bc they fit nicely into the team bonds and no one makes them feel bad for it. It is quite possible that a D3 team at the right school may have LOTS of kids like this -- sure there will always be some stars who could have gone D1 but didn't quite make it; but there may be some who just want to play.
Anonymous
lol this thread. Just tell her she sucks.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:90% of d3 colleges have non existent admissions standards. They're scams. All the kids are forced to go to grad school because nobody values the bachelors degree.


D3 have nothing to do with admissions, but everything to do with athletics. DIII do not offer scholarships, so elite athletes skip them. Some DIII schools are great academically:
Bryn Mawr, Franklin and Marshall, Johns Hopkins, Swathmore, RPI, Union, Clarkson College, ....

Sure, there are some I have never heard of, but that is not all.

For what it is worth, I played DIII Football at one of the aforementioned schools. Even though there was not scholarship, it got me admitted.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Our child swims at a D3 school. She loves the activity, and the discipline of being on a team is great for her. The team isn't great but she really has enjoyed visiting other schools, participating in competition meets, etc.

And here's the thing -- "Not very good" in Northern Virginia might actually be "pretty darned awesome" in some other part of the country that doesn't take swimming (or life) quite so seriously. This is also true for music, drama, etc. She said she'd always thought of herself as 'not very good' at swimming compared to her peers in high school, but was surprised to find that she was more than adequate at her college. There are lots of people in Ohio, Michigan, etc. who don't go to swim clinics starting when they're three, don't get private lessons when they're two and who still swim in high school. COmpared to those kids, your daughter will be just fine..


I know you're just trying to make a point, but maybe choose a different region. -former NCAA champion from OH who had tons of teammates from OH/MI.
Anonymous
Quite a bit of discussion arising out of an obvious troll post.

No. Div III coaches do not recruit kids who are not decent players. Why? Because they do not want to get fired. If you are the coach of a Div III sports team you are really out there trying to get those kids who are Div I level kids but might be undersized or have the athletic ability but not the technical expertise. You then fill in with kids who play at a bit lower level. The winning Div III programs will have about a third of the kids on the team be Div I players (excluding football and basketball). I would include volleyball in the exclusion too, but my own anecdotal evidence suggests that avfair number of Div I kids play Div III.

Anonymous
Why do people keep listing elite D3 colleges? OP is obviously not talking about Middlebury and Johns Hopkins -- they're talking about the private shitholes nobody has ever heard of that charge $55k. lol
Anonymous
If prestige matters - - give her a list of schools YOU think are worthy of your money. Most of us have limited where our kids can apply - why can't you?

You have reasons. That others may not agree with your reasons does not matter.

We gave our kids a list of 50 schools. We said choose 10 to apply to. Don't fall in love with any yet - let's wait until we see where you get in and what the final costs are ...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep listing elite D3 colleges? OP is obviously not talking about Middlebury and Johns Hopkins -- they're talking about the private shitholes nobody has ever heard of that charge $55k. lol


Because real schools like Middlebury are between 60-63K this year.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your post is all over the place and hard to understand. Are you talking Division II or III? Why are coaches contacting her and telling her to come to their school unless they want her on their team?


DIII. Tiny colleges. Expensive, underfunded. Not coaches, these are admissions recruiters sent out to boost applications. They will tell kids WHATEVER they want to hear.


+1 Their job is to get bodies in the door.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep listing elite D3 colleges? OP is obviously not talking about Middlebury and Johns Hopkins -- they're talking about the private shitholes nobody has ever heard of that charge $55k. lol


Because real schools like Middlebury are between 60-63K this year.


OP isn't talking about the Middleburys and Hopkins of the world. OP is talking about Stevenson University, Goucher College, Roanoke, Lynchburg.
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