Reply to My daughter thinks she's good at a sport but she's not

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[quote=Anonymous]Don't make it about her sport - but talk to her about how her sport will not be the ONLY aspect she considers when choosing a college, no matter what coaches/recruiters are saying to her.

What does she want to study generally? Tell her her school must have her major and a few other related ones, and must be a school where a kid gets into their majors (though may not be as much of a problem at small schools as the 10,000 person schools where it's impossible to get into basic courses). Tell her you will pay no more than $x for her education and you want her to have loans of no more than $y -- whatever X and Y are for your family. Tell her you will not pay for any school with a grad rate or employability rate below Z or a ranking below A -- if those are important criteria to you. Now given all that, if she can find a school where she can walk on to the soccer (basketball? - not sure what sport we're talking about) team or play club/intramural, great. But if not, the educational/financial criteria come first.

If she doesn't want to believe you that she isn't a top player - then I think you need to talk about - even for the best HS/college players, soccer doesn't last forever. It ends in 4 yrs or even earlier if you get injured, if the school cuts the sport - which happens all the time with non revenue generating sports etc. You need to get thru to her that your  job as a parent is worrying about the solid education she needs -- she can worry about how to fit soccer within that, or  not.

You seem quite harsh about why she even wants to play given that she rides the bench except for garbage time. Sometimes people benefit from a team in a way that isn't obvious to other. Yes - most normal people wouldn't want to do an activity if they were no good and got no playing time. But there are those few who love the sport so much, that they are happy to play even if it's just scout team; they live for the few min of garbage time action they get a few times a season. They don't feel looked down upon for being less talented - often bc they fit nicely into the team bonds and no one makes them feel bad for it. It is quite possible that a D3 team at the right school may have LOTS of kids like this -- sure there will always be some stars who could have gone D1 but didn't quite make it; but there may be some who just want to play. [/quote]

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