My daughter thinks she's good at a sport but she's not

[Anonymous]

These are unranked tiny colleges nobody has ever heard of. One of them has only a 60% graduation rate.

If she wants to play... there's intramural and club level at bigger schools.

[Anonymous]

You are going about this all wrong.

What does she want to do post college ? Career wise?
Help her pick a major.

Undegrad is not about name recognition that is gone with the 90s.

She does need experience. This means internships and related work experience. She needs to know how to connect with people.

Secondly, give her financial parameters what you are willing to contribute to school it' then up to here to find a place within that budget or come up with the rest of the cash.

Telling her she sucks is not the way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post is all over the place and hard to understand. Are you talking Division II or III? Why are coaches contacting her and telling her to come to their school unless they want her on their team?

DIII. Tiny colleges. Expensive, underfunded. Not coaches, these are admissions recruiters sent out to boost applications. They will tell kids WHATEVER they want to hear.

Same pp. That is different then. Absolutely not, if she is a good student and they are not offering scholarships. My DS is actually offered athletic scholarships to low division I colleges in his sport and he is saying no. These are Forbes ranked schools below 500 nationally that might still be good schools, but he would rather go to a better college and not play his sport than go to a "no real degree college." So, while I am all for kids having choices sometimes they have no clue what is a good choice and what is not, and parents need to step in. Why would you let her go to some almost community college equivalent, if she can get into much better school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At D3 schools everyone makes the team and practices with the team. Not everyone gets to play games, but everyone makes the team.

That's bullshit. I know plenty kids got cut from my DIII team and some who were on the team previously. You have no idea what you are talking about. I am sure it is different at every school and even between sports.

+1. What ridiculous statement above! So such Division III schools as Carnegie Mellon, Scrips Mudd or Williams College let anybody play? These attract the best athletes in their sport, on par with best division I schools, and some kids might use a sport just to be accepted. Unless they have the academics or some other merit possibility, if parents have high income, there is very little coach can do to give them merit scholarship! All make the team, not even at Mary Washington does everybody make the teams....Now some totally unknown school, maybe.

[Anonymous]

The xxxx recruiters manipulated a kid planting these seeds in her head

Op, then treat her as an adult. Tell her what you will/or will not pay for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you need to wake up, OP.

Small colleges need athletes too. Your daughter may play well enough for them. She doesn't need to be an elite athlete.

I have no idea what your definition of an overpriced college no one has heard of is, but I think I went to one. I went on to an Ivy League law school and a law firm partnership.

Please open your eyes. And even if your daughter is horrible, why would you get off on convincing her of that fact?

OMG you are missing the point.

OP is saying that the only recruiters who say that her daughter has a chance are from super expensive private schools with no name recognition. We are not talking about privates like Cornell, we're talking about small private liberal arts colleges where tuition can be close to 50K a year. Unless you're very very wealthy, it makes a big difference if the kid goes to a good state school with a solid reputation (and no chance of making the team) as opposed to paying through the nose for a small private with no name recognition and a chance to ride the bench on their team.

OMG the horror of going to an elite liberal arts college and having a well-rounded resume including a team sport. Gasp!

If it's worth it to you to pay an extra 30K/year (state schools are about 20K/year) so your kid can play her sport at a small liberal arts, more power to you! It sounds like OP would rather that 120K go towards something else.

[Anonymous]

Have her talk to current members of the team at the school. Find out practice requirements, time commitment, likelihood of all HS recruits actually getting playing time, etc.

Separately, tell her how you are prepared to handle college financing. Are you only willing to pay for certain schools, and if so what is the list? Or are you willing to pay up to X amount per year and she needs to make up the difference? Etc.

If you actually will not pay for her to attend this school, tell her that, but do be prepared for potential resentment of this. Otherwise, she needs objective information on which to base her decision, and the less of it (especially any opinions about her sports skills) comes from you, likely the better, as she will assume you are biased towards getting her to agree to whatever college you'd prefer for her to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She'd be required to take out serious loans. It's D3. I'm not being an asshole, she only made the team because she's a senior and the coach is too nice to cut girls.

She's attempting to make a highly irrational decision fueled by her desire to continue playing a sport SHE'S NOT GOOD AT.

We're not rich. This college has no name value. Minimal employment recruiting. I could go on and on.

The bastard recruiters manipulated a kid planting these seeds in her head.

I can see why you are angry at the recruiters, but stop talking down your daughter.

Here's the line:

"Honey, we can't afford this. Why don't we find a school we can afford where there are club-level opportunities to keep playing."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'd be required to take out serious loans. It's D3. I'm not being an asshole, she only made the team because she's a senior and the coach is too nice to cut girls.

She's attempting to make a highly irrational decision fueled by her desire to continue playing a sport SHE'S NOT GOOD AT.

We're not rich. This college has no name value. Minimal employment recruiting. I could go on and on.

The bastard recruiters manipulated a kid planting these seeds in her head.

I can see why you are angry at the recruiters, but stop talking down your daughter.

Here's the line:

"Honey, we can't afford this. Why don't we find a school we can afford where there are club-level opportunities to keep playing."

Perfect!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'd be required to take out serious loans. It's D3. I'm not being an asshole, she only made the team because she's a senior and the coach is too nice to cut girls.

She's attempting to make a highly irrational decision fueled by her desire to continue playing a sport SHE'S NOT GOOD AT.

We're not rich. This college has no name value. Minimal employment recruiting. I could go on and on.

The bastard recruiters manipulated a kid planting these seeds in her head.

I can see why you are angry at the recruiters, but stop talking down your daughter.

Here's the line:

"Honey, we can't afford this. Why don't we find a school we can afford where there are club-level opportunities to keep playing."

This would be perfect, but it's pretty clear it's not enough for OP for her daughter to chooe an afordable school she needs her daughter to know she sucks as well.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't rule out the lesser known LACs on the basis of price if your DD is a good student. These schools have much larger endowments than public colleges, so they are often able to offer massive merit scholarships to strong academic students.

My daughter applied to a bunch of smaller LACs and they all came out to be less than state schools in terms of price due to generous merit aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'd be required to take out serious loans. It's D3. I'm not being an asshole, she only made the team because she's a senior and the coach is too nice to cut girls.

She's attempting to make a highly irrational decision fueled by her desire to continue playing a sport SHE'S NOT GOOD AT.

We're not rich. This college has no name value. Minimal employment recruiting. I could go on and on.

The bastard recruiters manipulated a kid planting these seeds in her head.

I can see why you are angry at the recruiters, but stop talking down your daughter.

Here's the line:

"Honey, we can't afford this. Why don't we find a school we can afford where there are club-level opportunities to keep playing."

This would be perfect, but it's pretty clear it's not enough for OP for her daughter to chooe an afordable school she needs her daughter to know she sucks as well.

"Honey, we can't afford this. Why don't we find a school we can afford where there are[ b]multi-tiered[/b] club-level opportunities so even sucky kids can keep playing."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you need to wake up, OP.

Small colleges need athletes too. Your daughter may play well enough for them. She doesn't need to be an elite athlete.

I have no idea what your definition of an overpriced college no one has heard of is, but I think I went to one. I went on to an Ivy League law school and a law firm partnership.

Please open your eyes. And even if your daughter is horrible, why would you get off on convincing her of that fact?

OMG you are missing the point.

OP is saying that the only recruiters who say that her daughter has a chance are from super expensive private schools with no name recognition. We are not talking about privates like Cornell, we're talking about small private liberal arts colleges where tuition can be close to 50K a year. Unless you're very very wealthy, it makes a big difference if the kid goes to a good state school with a solid reputation (and no chance of making the team) as opposed to paying through the nose for a small private with no name recognition and a chance to ride the bench on their team.

OMG the horror of going to an elite liberal arts college and having a well-rounded resume including a team sport. Gasp!

If it's worth it to you to pay an extra 30K/year (state schools are about 20K/year) so your kid can play her sport at a small liberal arts, more power to you! It sounds like OP would rather that 120K go towards something else.

Wooooosh -- the sound of the point flying over your head.

[Anonymous]

Small unranked private colleges are a scam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At D3 schools everyone makes the team and practices with the team. Not everyone gets to play games, but everyone makes the team.

That's bullshit. I know plenty kids got cut from my DIII team and some who were on the team previously. You have no idea what you are talking about. I am sure it is different at every school and even between sports.

+1. What ridiculous statement above! So such Division III schools as Carnegie Mellon, Scrips Mudd or Williams College let anybody play? These attract the best athletes in their sport, on par with best division I schools, and some kids might use a sport just to be accepted. Unless they have the academics or some other merit possibility, if parents have high income, there is very little coach can do to give them merit scholarship! All make the team, not even at Mary Washington does everybody make the teams....Now some totally unknown school, maybe.

Can't resist laughing at your reference to Scripps Mudd! I went to Scripps and referenced my excellent experience playing a DIII sport there. The CMC's (the traditionally most athletic of the Claremont-Mudd-Scripps teams) are beyond insulted )