s/o let's be civil here and stop the diagnoses lawyering

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the class sizes in DCPS for K pretty small? We are in FCPS but my general sense was that DCPS K was more around 20 kids (still not great).

Have you talked with anyone in the DCPS special ed office (I don't know the official title) about K placement options? They may have schools with smaller classes/more social support than just the general local K class.

When DS with IEP was in K at a DC charter, he was in an inclusive mainstream classroom with 17 kids and three teachers, head, assistant, and SN teacher. Check out some of the charters (if you can get in), some have very reasonable class sizes.

And even with that ratio, DS still needed an IEP for his mainly social issues and still does at 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about PEP?

I actually really wish we had access to PEP but they don't have it in DC. From what I've heard about it it seems great.

DC doesn't have PEP because it has preschool for all. You should try for Bridges. It is usually fairly easy to get into and it's still before count day. Call them today.

I also think the new special needs charter, the Children's Guild, has openings in all grades. Call or visit today.

My child was similar...behavior and motor issues.

Diagnoses emerge over time with younger kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Even though I've been burned myself, I prefer the tough approach, because it makes parents think hard about what they've done and how they think about their kid. Parental feelings, particularly on an anonymous board, are completely unimportant compared to the benefits of ruthlessly analyzing a case.

I DO NOT mean insults or nasty comments. I mean a cold analysis of the facts. For that we need as many facts as possible.

Seriously?

Yes, seriously. I'm a scientist, so maybe this approach comes easily to me. The goal is to work out a solution and help our kids, and if we can do that without ruffling feathers it's great. However if people take exception to reasonable questioning, it's on them.

There is no scientific approach to choosing the right school for a special needs child. I understand that you want data-driven analysis, and I agree, but science and "cold hard facts" do not drive the selection of a school for a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about PEP?

I actually really wish we had access to PEP but they don't have it in DC. From what I've heard about it it seems great.

DC doesn't have PEP because it has preschool for all. You should try for Bridges. It is usually fairly easy to get into and it's still before count day. Call them today.

I also think the new special needs charter, the Children's Guild, has openings in all grades. Call or visit today.

My child was similar...behavior and motor issues.

Diagnoses emerge over time with younger kids.

Thanks! There was such negative sentiment about Bridges earlier this year. But I think I'll go check it out. I hadn't heard about Children's Guild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public with IEP is your best option if you are in DC. Go visit Maddux and Auburn but you will have trouble getting in with a history of disruptive behaviors.

Mainstream private is probably not a option for you and I say this as the parent of a child who got into them prior to getting a diagnosis and IEP and thank our lucky stars that we dodged that bullet bc in all likelihood we would have been asked to leave and DS did not have disruptive behaviors just socially awkward and isolated with mild ASD.

What makes you so sure that a small nurturing environment will resolve all/most of your kid's issues? If your child needs an IEP, it is doubtful that just having a good teacher and small class size will be enough.

If you speak to all your experts, they will tell you the same.

I'm fairly sure (but of course not certain) about the behaviors because we've seen first hand how they differ based on the environment. But yes, the school won't resolve all the issues, of course. My dilemma is that I'm fairly sure that even with an IEP a class size close to 30 for K is going to be a disaster in public.

A charter is not going to have close to 30 kids in K. Maybe in ward 3 they do because overcrowding but not in most of the district. Class sizes are smaller in title I schools.

And yes I know teaching can make a difference. It definitely did for my kid within the same charter, from year to year. His worst behavior was with a teacher new to the school. So I totally get it.

But don't dismiss public with IEP because of that.

[Anonymous]

Can I just say, OP, that if you had not called for your original thread to be deleted, I think you would have gotten this info a lot sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about PEP?

I actually really wish we had access to PEP but they don't have it in DC. From what I've heard about it it seems great.

DC doesn't have PEP because it has preschool for all. You should try for Bridges. It is usually fairly easy to get into and it's still before count day. Call them today.

I also think the new special needs charter, the Children's Guild, has openings in all grades. Call or visit today.

My child was similar...behavior and motor issues.

Diagnoses emerge over time with younger kids.

Add CMI, ITS, etc if you are trying for K next year. It sounds like JKLM. Their class sizes can get ridiculous for K.

You have time before the lottery. See what his current teachers say in December about whether a mainstream private school will work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Among mainstream schools I'd try Sheridan, St Andrews, Sandy Spring Friends, Green Acres or Lowell.

They are all in the more progressive, whole child vein and say they welcome children with diverse learning styles. I have friends who have sent kids to all, including a couple with SNs. The SN kids didn't last much past 2nd and the parents were doing a lot of supports and therapies outside school at their own expense.

You won't know until you apply, visit and meet with the directors whether they will be good for your child.

That said if I were in your shoes, I'd move into the Bethesda Elementary school district and try public school.

Yeah, but depending on the SN some of the schools mentioned will be the absolute wrong environment especially if the kid needs a lot of structure.

OP won't even disclose what the "mild SN" is that required an IEP in public preschool.

I think this is the crux of the perceived negative feedback she got. When people ask advice on this board, it helps to offer some detail. Nobody can advise you on what program or school is best for your child if you refuse to divulge any information other than "it's just really really mild and not a super biggie but he has an IEP for it." That's not enough information for anyone to offer advice or recommendations. And when a parent wants the benefit of the advice of fellow special needs parents, while simultaneously denying THEIR child has actual special needs, it really rubs people the wrong way. You can't say you want our advice and understanding and commiseration while also refusing to align yourself with us and our kids because you and yours aren't really SN families.

I think I gave enough detail and am not comfortable with disclosing more due to privacy. The main issues are motor skills and social skills, which can end up in externalizing behavior, as I stated in the OP. There are many different factors and not all of them are entirely clear yet -- although like every parent on here I have been diligent in consulting with experts. The one thing that IS clear to me (and the reason I posted in the first place) is that the size of the class and quality of teaching makes a huge difference, and at this point we have a reasonable belief that he would be able to succeed in the right kind of mainstream kindergarten. It seems like unless I give all the CPT codes we bill to insurance nobody is going to be happy.

You're doubling down again on what I just said was the likely problem. You want SN parents advice but are insistent he belongs in and will do just fine in a mainstream class. Might he? Maybe. But we don't know because you're so cagey with details. Absolutely nobody who reads this could ID or out you if you revealed his diagnosis or why he has an IEP but you still won't, so nobody can advise you. When you accept you're a parent of a SN child, you might find this forum useful.

Ok just stop now. I'm not posting all of my child's medical records on the internet. I asked for advice about private kindergartens that would be more accommodating to differences, and got some good answers. Sorry I don't meet some kind of tough love disclosure standard you think should be applied.

I actually don't give a shit what your kid's medical history is nor would I argue with you about it. I'm simply explaining if you don't want to reveal that, you won't get the advice you're looking for. It's really your problem if you don't know where to put your child because nobody can recommend a place since whatever issues the child has are a state secret. Have fun with your trial and error process of finding a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you only know symptoms, you don't know diagnoses.

Nobody's "lawyering" or "quarterbacking" you. Or whatever other meaningless phrases you'd like to use.

However, if you give information up front in asking a question, people don't need to ask.

If you want recommendations on things like schools, then having a handle on what a kid's issues are is important. Not just your "characterization." Nobody questions that. But if you crumple at the least bit of questioning, here, then you're not facing something.

I don't know what you think you're adding to the dialogue here. I don't think this board should be some kind of adversarial process where you question people's views about their own kids repeatedly ... when they have not made that the subject of their post.

It's not adversarial to disagree with someone. No one was "attacking" the OP. More than one PP told the OP looking for a K for her kid with "mild" SN that...

--behavioral problems will be a problem in finding any school
--if her kid has an IEP in DC--the problems aren't "mild"

Again, no one is questioning her view of her kid. However, we are trying to acquaint her with reality.

+1

[Anonymous]

But since my child does have SN and a history of distruptive behavior I was pretty sure I'd get torn to shreds on the private forum. I recall a really ugly thread there about "quirky" children.

Ok, so I think there's a few things to consider. My son has HFA and goes to a very small mainstream private school in NOVA. However, he generally does not have disruptive behaviors. I think that is a key issue that you are going to have to consider and speak with schools about. A mainstream private school can certainly accommodates some special needs - for example, my son does different activities for PE on some occasions than his classmates, when the activity that the rest of the class is doing would be over stimulating for him. However, certain disruptive behaviors such as hitting, interrupting a lesson, being disruptive, would not be tolerated at his school if they occurred repeatedly and continuously. The other thing to consider is, even if your child's educational needs can be accommodated in a mainstream school, will he be socially happy? Since our school is fairly small and kind and kids have to interact with DS, he's not excluded, but I often think about whether he might have more actual friends (he has no close friends) in a different environment with more kids like him. These are important things to think about, and I have no idea what conclusions you will come to in your particular circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I just say, OP, that if you had not called for your original thread to be deleted, I think you would have gotten this info a lot sooner.

maybe. I was pretty upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I just say, OP, that if you had not called for your original thread to be deleted, I think you would have gotten this info a lot sooner.

maybe. I was pretty upset.

I hear you. I posted once about private Ks for my son with ADHD and behaviors and was told that we had no options other than public with a good IEP and I was pissed. But then we actually got turned away from Maddux so I have come to realize that sometimes the BTDT people know of which they speak. It sucks, but behaviors are not tolerated. I get angry because they are really just a delay like not speaking or stimming but they are treated completely differently. For my son, his primary delay has always been behavior - those are not going to go away in the right setting, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I just say, OP, that if you had not called for your original thread to be deleted, I think you would have gotten this info a lot sooner.

maybe. I was pretty upset.

I hear you. I posted once about private Ks for my son with ADHD and behaviors and was told that we had no options other than public with a good IEP and I was pissed. But then we actually got turned away from Maddux so I have come to realize that sometimes the BTDT people know of which they speak. It sucks, but behaviors are not tolerated. I get angry because they are really just a delay like not speaking or stimming but they are treated completely differently. For my son, his primary delay has always been behavior - those are not going to go away in the right setting, unfortunately.

Thanks for your POV. I'm hoping we'll have continued success w/r/t behaviors but we'll see what happens.

[Anonymous]

How about Karasik in Silver Spring? We sent our NT child there for preschool/daycare and loved it (didn't know it . It's affordable and it's explicitly inclusive and might be a good place while you get a better handle on his issues.

http://thearcmontgomerycounty.org/children/karasik-child-care-center.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about Karasik in Silver Spring? We sent our NT child there for preschool/daycare and loved it (didn't know it . It's affordable and it's explicitly inclusive and might be a good place while you get a better handle on his issues.

http://thearcmontgomerycounty.org/children/karasik-child-care-center.html

I was saying we didn't find it until our SN child was too old unfortunately.