s/o let's be civil here and stop the diagnoses lawyering

[Anonymous]

I'd like to propose that here on the SN forum we collectively stop questioning other parents' descriptions of their child's diagnosis and symptoms unless the poster has specifically asked about it. I don't know what's going on here lately but some posters seem to be overly focused on disputing other peoples' characterizations of their own children. I think that should stop.

[Anonymous]

I second the proposal. If you really think someone may have a really off base diagnosis something along the lines of you may wish to consider looking into xyz would do.

[Anonymous]

If you only know symptoms, you don't know diagnoses.

Nobody's "lawyering" or "quarterbacking" you. Or whatever other meaningless phrases you'd like to use.

However, if you give information up front in asking a question, people don't need to ask.

If you want recommendations on things like schools, then having a handle on what a kid's issues are is important. Not just your "characterization." Nobody questions that. But if you crumple at the least bit of questioning, here, then you're not facing something.

[Anonymous]

I'm someone that has jumped in recently in to tell people to back off from doing this but it was only because someone seemed to be particularly aggressive. On the whole I think these types of comments can be helpful. They can help the OPs think about other possibilities even if they are totally off base.

What I don't like is when people seem to use a tone of attack especially when it's clearly upsetting the OP. IMO, I think people should weigh in but be more sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you only know symptoms, you don't know diagnoses.

Nobody's "lawyering" or "quarterbacking" you. Or whatever other meaningless phrases you'd like to use.

However, if you give information up front in asking a question, people don't need to ask.

If you want recommendations on things like schools, then having a handle on what a kid's issues are is important. Not just your "characterization." Nobody questions that. But if you crumple at the least bit of questioning, here, then you're not facing something.

I don't know what you think you're adding to the dialogue here. I don't think this board should be some kind of adversarial process where you question people's views about their own kids repeatedly ... when they have not made that the subject of their post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm someone that has jumped in recently in to tell people to back off from doing this but it was only because someone seemed to be particularly aggressive. On the whole I think these types of comments can be helpful. They can help the OPs think about other possibilities even if they are totally off base.

What I don't like is when people seem to use a tone of attack especially when it's clearly upsetting the OP. IMO, I think people should weigh in but be more sensitive.

Repeated defensiveness and name calling tends to get people's ire up. I don't think anyone on here wants to upset another person. No one is actually trying to be mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you only know symptoms, you don't know diagnoses.

Nobody's "lawyering" or "quarterbacking" you. Or whatever other meaningless phrases you'd like to use.

However, if you give information up front in asking a question, people don't need to ask.

If you want recommendations on things like schools, then having a handle on what a kid's issues are is important. Not just your "characterization." Nobody questions that. But if you crumple at the least bit of questioning, here, then you're not facing something.

I don't know what you think you're adding to the dialogue here. I don't think this board should be some kind of adversarial process where you question people's views about their own kids repeatedly ... when they have not made that the subject of their post.

It's not adversarial to disagree with someone. No one was "attacking" the OP. More than one PP told the OP looking for a K for her kid with "mild" SN that...

--behavioral problems will be a problem in finding any school
--if her kid has an IEP in DC--the problems aren't "mild"

Again, no one is questioning her view of her kid. However, we are trying to acquaint her with reality.

[Anonymous]

People on this board are trying to be helpful but it is difficult to make recommendations for schools, therapists, etc. when the person asking refuses to reveal what the SNs are other than that it is "mild" and that the kid has an IEP for their issues.

[Anonymous]

This argument plays out constantly on every forum on DCUM in the guise of "If you disagree with me or question my precepts in any way, you are a troll."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People on this board are trying to be helpful but it is difficult to make recommendations for schools, therapists, etc. when the person asking refuses to reveal what the SNs are other than that it is "mild" and that the kid has an IEP for their issues.

Plus, most private schools ask you to disclose if your kid has an IEP and ask for a copy. If you try to bluff your way into a school without disclosing, you may be booted out if problems arise.

Really, no one is trying to diagnose a kid. But behavior issues stem from something. It's good to know the reason.

[Anonymous]

There were many on that thread who were urging OP to get a diagnosis and/or a comprehensive evaluation. But no one was suggesting any particular diagnosis.

The only time I've seen that is in the autism vs MERLD threads, and I agree, those should stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This argument plays out constantly on every forum on DCUM in the guise of "If you disagree with me or question my precepts in any way, you are a troll."

My point is, on the SN board you may want to stop for a second and consider whether your job is really to disagree and argue every little point, or be supportive and helpful. In my deleted post I gave more than enough information to get some good ideas, and I was not asking for my kid's diagnosis, treatment and prognosis to be critiqued. That stuff was totally irrelevant and unhelpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument plays out constantly on every forum on DCUM in the guise of "If you disagree with me or question my precepts in any way, you are a troll."

My point is, on the SN board you may want to stop for a second and consider whether your job is really to disagree and argue every little point, or be supportive and helpful. In my deleted post I gave more than enough information to get some good ideas, and I was not asking for my kid's diagnosis, treatment and prognosis to be critiqued. That stuff was totally irrelevant and unhelpful.

Again, no one is arguing with you. That's your interpretation. Maybe you don't care about a diagnosis; maybe you just don't want to know. Bottom line is since your kid is young and you're looking for advice on schools, people asking for more detail are trying to help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument plays out constantly on every forum on DCUM in the guise of "If you disagree with me or question my precepts in any way, you are a troll."

My point is, on the SN board you may want to stop for a second and consider whether your job is really to disagree and argue every little point, or be supportive and helpful. In my deleted post I gave more than enough information to get some good ideas, and I was not asking for my kid's diagnosis, treatment and prognosis to be critiqued. That stuff was totally irrelevant and unhelpful.

Again, no one is arguing with you. That's your interpretation. Maybe you don't care about a diagnosis; maybe you just don't want to know. Bottom line is since your kid is young and you're looking for advice on schools, people asking for more detail are trying to help you.

I didn't get the sense they were trying to help. I got the impression they were mad I referred to my child's needs as mild and thought he should be able to go to a mainstream private, especially since he has had "behaviors".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument plays out constantly on every forum on DCUM in the guise of "If you disagree with me or question my precepts in any way, you are a troll."

My point is, on the SN board you may want to stop for a second and consider whether your job is really to disagree and argue every little point, or be supportive and helpful. In my deleted post I gave more than enough information to get some good ideas, and I was not asking for my kid's diagnosis, treatment and prognosis to be critiqued. That stuff was totally irrelevant and unhelpful.

Again, no one is arguing with you. That's your interpretation. Maybe you don't care about a diagnosis; maybe you just don't want to know. Bottom line is since your kid is young and you're looking for advice on schools, people asking for more detail are trying to help you.

I didn't get the sense they were trying to help. I got the impression they were mad I referred to my child's needs as mild and thought he should be able to go to a mainstream private, especially since he has had "behaviors".

Oh, good grief. No one is mad at you for suggesting any such thing.

However, the reality is that finding a mainstream school for your kid is unlikely if there are behavioral issues.