s/o let's be civil here and stop the diagnoses lawyering

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Public with IEP is your best option if you are in DC. Go visit Maddux and Auburn but you will have trouble getting in with a history of disruptive behaviors.

Mainstream private is probably not a option for you and I say this as the parent of a child who got into them prior to getting a diagnosis and IEP and thank our lucky stars that we dodged that bullet bc in all likelihood we would have been asked to leave and DS did not have disruptive behaviors just socially awkward and isolated with mild ASD.

What makes you so sure that a small nurturing environment will resolve all/most of your kid's issues? If your child needs an IEP, it is doubtful that just having a good teacher and small class size will be enough.

If you speak to all your experts, they will tell you the same.

I'm fairly sure (but of course not certain) about the behaviors because we've seen first hand how they differ based on the environment. But yes, the school won't resolve all the issues, of course. My dilemma is that I'm fairly sure that even with an IEP a class size close to 30 for K is going to be a disaster in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Among mainstream schools I'd try Sheridan, St Andrews, Sandy Spring Friends, Green Acres or Lowell.

They are all in the more progressive, whole child vein and say they welcome children with diverse learning styles. I have friends who have sent kids to all, including a couple with SNs. The SN kids didn't last much past 2nd and the parents were doing a lot of supports and therapies outside school at their own expense.

You won't know until you apply, visit and meet with the directors whether they will be good for your child.

That said if I were in your shoes, I'd move into the Bethesda Elementary school district and try public school.

Yeah, but depending on the SN some of the schools mentioned will be the absolute wrong environment especially if the kid needs a lot of structure.

OP won't even disclose what the "mild SN" is that required an IEP in public preschool.

I think this is the crux of the perceived negative feedback she got. When people ask advice on this board, it helps to offer some detail. Nobody can advise you on what program or school is best for your child if you refuse to divulge any information other than "it's just really really mild and not a super biggie but he has an IEP for it." That's not enough information for anyone to offer advice or recommendations. And when a parent wants the benefit of the advice of fellow special needs parents, while simultaneously denying THEIR child has actual special needs, it really rubs people the wrong way. You can't say you want our advice and understanding and commiseration while also refusing to align yourself with us and our kids because you and yours aren't really SN families.

I think I gave enough detail and am not comfortable with disclosing more due to privacy. The main issues are motor skills and social skills, which can end up in externalizing behavior, as I stated in the OP. There are many different factors and not all of them are entirely clear yet -- although like every parent on here I have been diligent in consulting with experts. The one thing that IS clear to me (and the reason I posted in the first place) is that the size of the class and quality of teaching makes a huge difference, and at this point we have a reasonable belief that he would be able to succeed in the right kind of mainstream kindergarten. It seems like unless I give all the CPT codes we bill to insurance nobody is going to be happy.

You're doubling down again on what I just said was the likely problem. You want SN parents advice but are insistent he belongs in and will do just fine in a mainstream class. Might he? Maybe. But we don't know because you're so cagey with details. Absolutely nobody who reads this could ID or out you if you revealed his diagnosis or why he has an IEP but you still won't, so nobody can advise you. When you accept you're a parent of a SN child, you might find this forum useful.

Ok just stop now. I'm not posting all of my child's medical records on the internet. I asked for advice about private kindergartens that would be more accommodating to differences, and got some good answers. Sorry I don't meet some kind of tough love disclosure standard you think should be applied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, what about Newton? I'm thinking about that for my son. A little unsure because we also have behavior issues. Behavior issues are really the third rail, fwiw, for schools, too. It's just best to know that going into the process.

Newton looks great, thanks for the addition to my list! The tuition (28k) is just on the outer limits of affordability for us too.

[Anonymous]

Are the class sizes in DCPS for K pretty small? We are in FCPS but my general sense was that DCPS K was more around 20 kids (still not great).

Have you talked with anyone in the DCPS special ed office (I don't know the official title) about K placement options? They may have schools with smaller classes/more social support than just the general local K class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about PEP?

I actually really wish we had access to PEP but they don't have it in DC. From what I've heard about it it seems great.

Have you guys thought about moving at all? We actually might for a better public school. Someone posted back about her non DC school area that has a program that is very small for kids who are academically on track but have behaviors. I was SO jealous, that sounds awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, what about Newton? I'm thinking about that for my son. A little unsure because we also have behavior issues. Behavior issues are really the third rail, fwiw, for schools, too. It's just best to know that going into the process.

Newton looks great, thanks for the addition to my list! The tuition (28k) is just on the outer limits of affordability for us too.

That is a long haul back and forth from DC every day.

[Anonymous]

Well, OP disclosed that the main issues are motor and social skills with a history of disruptive behaviors and the issues are severe enough to get an IEP in public preschool.

Best bet is public with IEP. Doubtful that you will get accepted into any mainstream private K with that profile and difficult to get into SN schools. Not trying to be mean or harsh but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, what about Newton? I'm thinking about that for my son. A little unsure because we also have behavior issues. Behavior issues are really the third rail, fwiw, for schools, too. It's just best to know that going into the process.

Newton looks great, thanks for the addition to my list! The tuition (28k) is just on the outer limits of affordability for us too.

We hope to tour soon - if anyone has any info re their tolerance for behaviors - in my son's case, running, eloping sometimes, generally impulsive, may hit if really overwhelmed but its not likely - I would love to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, what about Newton? I'm thinking about that for my son. A little unsure because we also have behavior issues. Behavior issues are really the third rail, fwiw, for schools, too. It's just best to know that going into the process.

Newton looks great, thanks for the addition to my list! The tuition (28k) is just on the outer limits of affordability for us too.

That is a long haul back and forth from DC every day.

We're actually considering moving for other reasons, but yeah, transportation is an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Among mainstream schools I'd try Sheridan, St Andrews, Sandy Spring Friends, Green Acres or Lowell.

They are all in the more progressive, whole child vein and say they welcome children with diverse learning styles. I have friends who have sent kids to all, including a couple with SNs. The SN kids didn't last much past 2nd and the parents were doing a lot of supports and therapies outside school at their own expense.

You won't know until you apply, visit and meet with the directors whether they will be good for your child.

That said if I were in your shoes, I'd move into the Bethesda Elementary school district and try public school.

Yeah, but depending on the SN some of the schools mentioned will be the absolute wrong environment especially if the kid needs a lot of structure.

OP won't even disclose what the "mild SN" is that required an IEP in public preschool.

I think this is the crux of the perceived negative feedback she got. When people ask advice on this board, it helps to offer some detail. Nobody can advise you on what program or school is best for your child if you refuse to divulge any information other than "it's just really really mild and not a super biggie but he has an IEP for it." That's not enough information for anyone to offer advice or recommendations. And when a parent wants the benefit of the advice of fellow special needs parents, while simultaneously denying THEIR child has actual special needs, it really rubs people the wrong way. You can't say you want our advice and understanding and commiseration while also refusing to align yourself with us and our kids because you and yours aren't really SN families.

I think I gave enough detail and am not comfortable with disclosing more due to privacy. The main issues are motor skills and social skills, which can end up in externalizing behavior, as I stated in the OP. There are many different factors and not all of them are entirely clear yet -- although like every parent on here I have been diligent in consulting with experts. The one thing that IS clear to me (and the reason I posted in the first place) is that the size of the class and quality of teaching makes a huge difference, and at this point we have a reasonable belief that he would be able to succeed in the right kind of mainstream kindergarten. It seems like unless I give all the CPT codes we bill to insurance nobody is going to be happy.

You're doubling down again on what I just said was the likely problem. You want SN parents advice but are insistent he belongs in and will do just fine in a mainstream class. Might he? Maybe. But we don't know because you're so cagey with details. Absolutely nobody who reads this could ID or out you if you revealed his diagnosis or why he has an IEP but you still won't, so nobody can advise you. When you accept you're a parent of a SN child, you might find this forum useful.

Ok just stop now. I'm not posting all of my child's medical records on the internet. I asked for advice about private kindergartens that would be more accommodating to differences, and got some good answers. Sorry I don't meet some kind of tough love disclosure standard you think should be applied.

OP I asked what his former teachers have recommended and you have chosen not to respond. Yet you want to dicker with others over what you will and won't post. If you actually want help, please provide information as I am sure you know-not all SN are accommodated equally in all environments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Even though I've been burned myself, I prefer the tough approach, because it makes parents think hard about what they've done and how they think about their kid. Parental feelings, particularly on an anonymous board, are completely unimportant compared to the benefits of ruthlessly analyzing a case.

I DO NOT mean insults or nasty comments. I mean a cold analysis of the facts. For that we need as many facts as possible.

Seriously?

Yes, seriously. I'm a scientist, so maybe this approach comes easily to me. The goal is to work out a solution and help our kids, and if we can do that without ruffling feathers it's great. However if people take exception to reasonable questioning, it's on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the class sizes in DCPS for K pretty small? We are in FCPS but my general sense was that DCPS K was more around 20 kids (still not great).

Have you talked with anyone in the DCPS special ed office (I don't know the official title) about K placement options? They may have schools with smaller classes/more social support than just the general local K class.

When DS with IEP was in K at a DC charter, he was in an inclusive mainstream classroom with 17 kids and three teachers, head, assistant, and SN teacher. Check out some of the charters (if you can get in), some have very reasonable class sizes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the class sizes in DCPS for K pretty small? We are in FCPS but my general sense was that DCPS K was more around 20 kids (still not great).

Have you talked with anyone in the DCPS special ed office (I don't know the official title) about K placement options? They may have schools with smaller classes/more social support than just the general local K class.

No, the sizes are closer to 30 in our neighborhood school. I don't know about placement at other schools - I think they would only do that in a self-contained classroom (which I don't think he needs) not just a different neighborhood school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Even though I've been burned myself, I prefer the tough approach, because it makes parents think hard about what they've done and how they think about their kid. Parental feelings, particularly on an anonymous board, are completely unimportant compared to the benefits of ruthlessly analyzing a case.

I DO NOT mean insults or nasty comments. I mean a cold analysis of the facts. For that we need as many facts as possible.

Seriously?

Yes, seriously. I'm a scientist, so maybe this approach comes easily to me. The goal is to work out a solution and help our kids, and if we can do that without ruffling feathers it's great. However if people take exception to reasonable questioning, it's on them.

Well, I'm not asking you to diagnose my kid or to "analyze my case". I have actual professionals to do that for me in real life. I was asking about schools. If I want help "analyzing the case" I'll ask for htat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Among mainstream schools I'd try Sheridan, St Andrews, Sandy Spring Friends, Green Acres or Lowell.

They are all in the more progressive, whole child vein and say they welcome children with diverse learning styles. I have friends who have sent kids to all, including a couple with SNs. The SN kids didn't last much past 2nd and the parents were doing a lot of supports and therapies outside school at their own expense.

You won't know until you apply, visit and meet with the directors whether they will be good for your child.

That said if I were in your shoes, I'd move into the Bethesda Elementary school district and try public school.

Yeah, but depending on the SN some of the schools mentioned will be the absolute wrong environment especially if the kid needs a lot of structure.

OP won't even disclose what the "mild SN" is that required an IEP in public preschool.

I think this is the crux of the perceived negative feedback she got. When people ask advice on this board, it helps to offer some detail. Nobody can advise you on what program or school is best for your child if you refuse to divulge any information other than "it's just really really mild and not a super biggie but he has an IEP for it." That's not enough information for anyone to offer advice or recommendations. And when a parent wants the benefit of the advice of fellow special needs parents, while simultaneously denying THEIR child has actual special needs, it really rubs people the wrong way. You can't say you want our advice and understanding and commiseration while also refusing to align yourself with us and our kids because you and yours aren't really SN families.

I think I gave enough detail and am not comfortable with disclosing more due to privacy. The main issues are motor skills and social skills, which can end up in externalizing behavior, as I stated in the OP. There are many different factors and not all of them are entirely clear yet -- although like every parent on here I have been diligent in consulting with experts. The one thing that IS clear to me (and the reason I posted in the first place) is that the size of the class and quality of teaching makes a huge difference, and at this point we have a reasonable belief that he would be able to succeed in the right kind of mainstream kindergarten. It seems like unless I give all the CPT codes we bill to insurance nobody is going to be happy.

You're doubling down again on what I just said was the likely problem. You want SN parents advice but are insistent he belongs in and will do just fine in a mainstream class. Might he? Maybe. But we don't know because you're so cagey with details. Absolutely nobody who reads this could ID or out you if you revealed his diagnosis or why he has an IEP but you still won't, so nobody can advise you. When you accept you're a parent of a SN child, you might find this forum useful.

Ok just stop now. I'm not posting all of my child's medical records on the internet. I asked for advice about private kindergartens that would be more accommodating to differences, and got some good answers. Sorry I don't meet some kind of tough love disclosure standard you think should be applied.

OP I asked what his former teachers have recommended and you have chosen not to respond. Yet you want to dicker with others over what you will and won't post. If you actually want help, please provide information as I am sure you know-not all SN are accommodated equally in all environments.

Calm down. You posted that like two minutes ago. He has new teachers at the moment so they aren't making any recommendations yet. I'm in the gathering information stage. I've had one set of teachers suggest he needs extensive supports, and another set who thought he would do fine mainstreamed. (Guess which set of teachers provided the environment he did well in?)