I don't want to go on vacation with my husband
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Anonymous
| It’s okay, op. It happens. You’re just in a dry season. Marriages go through phases. Stick with it, it’ll get better soon. Just focus on being a good person. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| Bottom line, he's expecting to rekindle your sexless marriage on a vacation without your child and, vacation or not, you still don't want him. Why can't you just say that? Let him know that not even a childless get-away will change your mind about wanting him again. Then let him vacation alone or with his friends instead of wasting time with a woman who doesn't want him. I'd recommend Vegas. |
Anonymous
| So happy to see I’m not alone in NOT wanting to go with my husband. He’s difficult, plans nothing, needs 2hr nap everyday day if we’re hiking so we miss out on sunset bike rides, beach strolls etc. I have to plan every detail and when I try to discuss with him he can barely pay attention and can’t focus, doesn’t act excited…He asked why we have to go Wed to Wed not Sunday to Sunday well I said “I texted you and explained flight and hotel prices” His narcissistic personality took that as me patronizing him!! I’d rather go with anyone other than him! Sure it’s a red flag and yes I should have gotten out years ago. |
Anonymous
| I would just tell him you don’t want to go; that’s it. |
Anonymous
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Acknowledging the lack of sex and that you need to work on it means it’s somewhat important to you as well.
Why are you putting pressure on yourself about it? When it’s good is it enjoyable? If so take little steps to set up what you enjoy. If there is something that gets you in the mood work that into your plans naturally or tell him what you need. I would sit him down a couple weeks ahead of trip and have a frank conversation…. I feel we should use this as an opportunity to reconnect. I miss xyz. I would like ABC. I feel hij and xyz. When we do lmn it makes me want to be closer to you. Is there anything you would enjoy? You seem to like when I do, do you want to do that. We should take advantage of the alone time and make sure we showe together every morning (or other non sex yet intimate act you enjoy) Then follow up over the next couple of weeks with “reminders”…. I am really looking forward to, I can’t wait to. Did you think of anything else? This or that means would mean a lot to me. Today I was thinking about…etc. |
Anonymous
Same here. I hate traveling with him now. He can’t hold a conversation on anything but his work. He never helps pack or care for their before, during or after. He can’t plan jack. And it’s like he can’t see danger and has zero common sense, eg, but let’s see if the ATV can go straight up this cliff by the ocean; let’s really see if me and the 5 yo can or cannot snorkel in the rip tide. Dumb and dumber |
Anonymous
I am guy and see these red flags within two minutes of talking to husband of one of DWs friends. They were like this before you married them why are you surprised. This behavior or mentality didn’t just show up one day. |
Anonymous
NP. Probably because in their young and free days dating everything was fun fun fun! 1 BR apartment - so easy! Beach trips or wedding trips to friends - already planned practically! No kids to raise or care for or plan stuff for. No SFH house to manage, repair, tidy up, clean. No bills and budget to manage - mortgage, bills, family travel, ECs, health, 2 sets of elderly parents. No serious discussions to have - kids learning issues, what school to attend, where to buy a house, family trips. No dependency or reliability needed. BIG DIFFERENCE. Dumb & Dumber dude wasn't tested until marriage with kids. Now that he has been, guess what, he FAILED. over and over. And worse, apparently took no steps or efforts to step up, grow up, be reliable, and adapt to Adult Life with Kids. And that's besides how lame he sounds - can't talk, no goals, idiot side of him. Unf divorcing the Dumb & Dumber type with kids isn't a great solution for anyone either. And vacations with someone like that are a joke. Just make sure to always travel with another family or two. Hopefully Dumb & Dumber can mask on/off during the week so you don't lose your family friends too. |
Anonymous
| If I needed to reconnect with my DH and had a sexless marriage that needed to be worked on, I'd book that trip so fast and prepare to reconnect and have a great time. A period is not going to stop me from being intimate with him during the trip. Try to change your attitude about the whole thing. It seems like you're ruining the trip before it even started. |
Anonymous
| I know we mostly write our responses for ourselves anyway, but this post is from 2016 folks. For all we know they're divorced or she's in menopause or her husband came out as a woman since then. |
Anonymous
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Topic is: Don't want to go on vacation with my husband.
Go! |
Anonymous
| This thread is 8 years old... |
Anonymous
Ding ding ding. Posted in 2016. Why are people reviving these? |
Anonymous
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Definitely don’t go. I tried to power through a trip like this once - the whole command performance where I was supposed to dress up, do whatever activities he wanted and then pretend to want to have sex. It was awful.
Take a trip by yourself if you can. You have to just build yourself back up and then see where your marriage lands on its own. You can’t fix it with hotel sex. |
Anonymous
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Start traveling with your own friends or family friends if he demands to go.
Homebodies like him may like to save face and attend family vacations to keep other fake persona outside the house. |