Does anyone have an average child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My older child is pretty average academically. I agree with what you are saying, that basically everyone says their child is either gifted or special needs. Unfortunately in the affluent, over-parenting community I am familiar with, any child who is not performing as "gifted" is then subjected to a series of tutors, psychological assessments, and medications until they do perform as gifted. "Average" has become a problem requiring a medical diagnosis.

I'd rather see busy parents keep trying and throwing the kitchen sink at their average kid to at least bring them above par than to give up and let them be losers. I have a duel MD family next door and it's obvious they've given up on their 9th grade son but they dote on the 11th grade daughter who is clearly going to become a doctor. Even the girl admits "my parents gave up on my brother."

"Give up and let them be losers?" Average students are losers? If that's your opinion then I disagree with you that it is better to "throw the kitchen sink" at a child to force a certain type of success. The problem with the parents you mention isn't that they have failed to persuade their son to b a doctor. It's that they think anyone not becoming a doctor is a loser.

[Anonymous]

I have an average child; last year, her teacher even commented to me that she was a perfectly average student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I clicked to say that my kid is average, but I'm not sure that barely got required reading score for his grade qualifes as average?

I consider my child academically average because he learned to read in kindergarten and thereafter has been scoring at or slightly above his peers in reading. Seems to be the same so far in math. Nothing special at any sports, though he does seem to enjoy them. He's a great kid.

+1. Mine is average kid, wouldnt trade him for Gifted anything in million years

[Anonymous]

Odd how all the people with "average" kids comment on how hardworking they are, or what natural leaders they are. That's not average already. My average child is a perfectionist who hates failure and won't try again if he does fail at something, has some social anxiety, and hates sports or any kind of competition. He also hates school. He doesn't have any one outstanding quality that would guarantee great success later in life. He's really just average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is average. Academically, socially, and in sports (actually he is probably below average in sports). Even his ambitions are average - he wants to be a teacher when he grows up vs his friends who all want superstar careers like to be president or a professional football player . I adore him but it is hard when it feels like everyone else talks about their gifted kids. Thanks for reminding me to appreciate him more and not to compare him to others.

Your son will become more successful than the rest who will be neurotic wrecks after their dreams are dashed on the rocky shoals of reality.

He'll become an awesome teacher who will shape and influence the lives of thousands.

When he is an old man, he'll run into one of his students who will break down in tears and hug him like this:

Especially as more children are growing up without a father figure in their homes due to single moms and broken homes, your son will be a huge source of guidance as a teacher.

I'm the poster you are responding to - that is a great clip, and I appreciate your intent, but your response to me is essentially to tell me that my kid will be some kind of gifted teacher (you used the words "shape the lives of thousands") - I think teachers like that are gifted, but most teachers are not (nor are most lawyers, accountants, etc.) - because most people are not gifted! As I hope I indicated, I think my kid is terrific and will lead a productive and happy life, but like me, he seems to be average. Average is not a negative word!

[Anonymous]

I've got three solidly average DCs.

Oldest is a hs senior. Not setting the world on fire academically, not taking challenging courses, could barely make it through algebra, failed it once then repeated with a tutor. I'll go out on a limb and say she's just not smart. Not particularly a motivated student. She does have great interpersonal qualities and is in many ways mature and serious, just not in academics.

Middle and younger similar, although youngest identified as advanced in reading, yet hates to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My average child is going to do better in life than the gifted one. Better attitude, people like her, hard worker and her people skills are all around significantly better. She is also a born leader.

Our kids are older but by the time kids are in middle school a lot more parents are willing to concede that their kids are average, nice, decent kids but probably not the next Albert Einstein.

+1000. One son, brilliant. He's a freshman in college and already wants to quit. "Not for Him!" Other kid - totally and completely average. Happy as I don't know what. Could BARELY read in 1st grade. In 9th grade - not a genius. He is a complete leader, is popular and loves being him. He scores below avg on every standardized test available and could care less. Drives me crazy. We had him tested and the Dr. told us that our kid would always do well. Stuff just rolls off his back. I'll never be able to brag that he went to Harvard, but boy can he make me laugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP. Try not to stress about your first grader not reading yet. There is a huge range of development, and some kids just don't pick up reading until well after second grade has started. It didn't click with my son until the second half of second grade -- but when it did, he started reading volumes. He's a voracious reader now, and selected honors English and history in middle school because he wanted a larger reading workload. While he also ended up doing well in math and science, he chose NOT to do honors in those because they are not where his interests lie. Go with the flow. Encourage, bit don't push.

Yeah, this. My dh, DD and I are voracious readers. My second grade son just has no interest. No learning disabilities or anything we can see so we let him be. Really, what are the options? He'll read (or not) when he wants to.

[Anonymous]

I have one who is extremely gifted and one who (so far) is completely average academically. They are both awesome kids.

[Anonymous]

Every child has a strength. Just have to find it.

[Anonymous]

I think trying to rate and rank these kids at such a young age is a huge mistake. We're not doing them or ourselves any favors. There is so much that factors into having a happy and meaningful life. Oddly, I'm not sure that very much of that turns on reading early, playing the violin early, or being a soccer stud at age 6. It's great if the child is doing those things based on his/her motivation, but, otherwise, let's let them grow at their own pace.

[Anonymous]

It's mainly genetics, OP.

If you presented as average for some of your childhood, your kids will too. Having a PhD has nothing to do with it - most people with PhDs have slightly above average intelligence but mostly they are hard-working and dedicated.

My first child is 2E (gifted and learning disabled), my second child is significantly above average, although she doesn't strike me as particularly gifted compared to her brother, but then it depends on the definition of gifted.

They both toted huge books around since they started reading fluently - because they are like me. Neither DH or I acted "average" (your definition of average) as children, so it makes sense that our kids wouldn't either.

And you know what? It's the average kid that grows into the average, hard-working, happy adult, that is best for our society. The outliers are capable of both great and terrible things. We only need a few of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's mainly genetics, OP.

If you presented as average for some of your childhood, your kids will too. Having a PhD has nothing to do with it - most people with PhDs have slightly above average intelligence but mostly they are hard-working and dedicated.

My first child is 2E (gifted and learning disabled), my second child is significantly above average, although she doesn't strike me as particularly gifted compared to her brother, but then it depends on the definition of gifted.

They both toted huge books around since they started reading fluently - because they are like me. Neither DH or I acted "average" (your definition of average) as children, so it makes sense that our kids wouldn't either.

And you know what? It's the average kid that grows into the average, hard-working, happy adult, that is best for our society. The outliers are capable of both great and terrible things. We only need a few of them.

I really doubt that it is genetics. Most of the "gifted" kids have completely average parents, even those that were not prepped for the test. I think they are just kids who developed a little earlier than everyone else. I was reading on a high school level when I was in elementary school, but I'm not actually any smarter than anyone else. I just liked reading. I believe trying to identify kids as gifted in 2nd grade is part of the problem. I'm pretty sure I would have been considered "gifted," but I'm only slightly above average. However, my child hates reading and hates school, so he reads poorly, which certainly doesn't reflect his genetics.

[Anonymous]

My child is average.

That doesn't mean she can't be a straight A student or go to Harvard if she wants, it just means she will have to work harder, study more and dedicate more time to studying than the above average or super intelligent kid who can just learn things easily by being in class.