Does anyone have an average child?

[Anonymous]

It seems like everyone here and even in real life has a gifted child or a special needs child. Doesn't anyone just have a normal, average child? My husband and I are both PHD's and went to good schools, but our first grader is completely average and doesn't like school. He barely got the required reading score for his grade level. He scored slightly below average on the NNAT. We are pretty much just not worrying about it, since he isn't actually below grade level, and his biggest problem seems to be that he doesn't like school. We don't want to pressure him and make it worse (he had an awful K experience). But I feel kind of worried when everyone talks about how bored their kid is with the regular curriculum and how they are reading these huge books over the summer, and I know that my child is struggling just to do grade level work. Is there anyone else out there who is middle class and educated with a child who isn't a very good student? (How long will it take for this to turn into a thread for people to brag about their gifted children?)

[Anonymous]

I clicked to say that my kid is average, but I'm not sure that barely got required reading score for his grade qualifes as average?

I consider my child academically average because he learned to read in kindergarten and thereafter has been scoring at or slightly above his peers in reading. Seems to be the same so far in math. Nothing special at any sports, though he does seem to enjoy them. He's a great kid.

[Anonymous]

Your child is in first grade... He is still coloring and singing songs in school. Check back come later in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like everyone here and even in real life has a gifted child or a special needs child. Doesn't anyone just have a normal, average child? My husband and I are both PHD's and went to good schools, but our first grader is completely average and doesn't like school. He barely got the required reading score for his grade level. He scored slightly below average on the NNAT. We are pretty much just not worrying about it, since he isn't actually below grade level, and his biggest problem seems to be that he doesn't like school. We don't want to pressure him and make it worse (he had an awful K experience). But I feel kind of worried when everyone talks about how bored their kid is with the regular curriculum and how they are reading these huge books over the summer, and I know that my child is struggling just to do grade level work. Is there anyone else out there who is middle class and educated with a child who isn't a very good student? (How long will it take for this to turn into a thread for people to brag about their gifted children?)

I just wanted to clarify my above content by saying I don't think they should struggle to do grade level work.

[Anonymous]

Sure, my child doesn't like schoolwork and doesn't like school. He's rather be playing around outside. He says his favorite subject is recess. It is perfectly normal!

[Anonymous]

My DD is average. She could probably do better but prefers to do the minimum. Her favorite classes are art and PE. She is good at athletics.

[Anonymous]

Rising 1st grader who can't even read. Teacher scored him completely average last year. He may just be average academically (despite phd parents). He may have to work harder in school than I ever did. But he loves loves loves school and is excited to learn things; he is the most curious kid I know. Who cares if he scores mid-range on his ACT and SAT in 12 years and goes to a second-tier state school and has to major in civil engineering instead of a field that requires a lot of critical thinking and writing. If he is excited about learning things and works hard (ok. he doesn't do this so much now - one of the reasons he can't read is because it doesn't come easy to him and he doesn't work hard at it - hopefully this will change as the work get more interesting) and loves life.

[Anonymous]

My middle schooler isn't an academically focused child. He prefers doing active things. Unless he changes drastically, it won't surprise me if he goes into a trade. That will be shocking for our families since we come from a long line of academic successes, but he would be bored to tears in a desk job and he loves repairing small engines.

Most of us don't want to hear how we have failed as parents or aren't encouraging our children enough. And other people aren't likely to share our joy that our 11 year old just repaired our dryer. There are plenty of average kids. Or kids with talents other than academic.

[Anonymous]

My average child is going to do better in life than the gifted one. Better attitude, people like her, hard worker and her people skills are all around significantly better. She is also a born leader.

Our kids are older but by the time kids are in middle school a lot more parents are willing to concede that their kids are average, nice, decent kids but probably not the next Albert Einstein.

[Anonymous]

My kid is average. Maybe even slightly below average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is in first grade... He is still coloring and singing songs in school. Check back come later in elementary school.

That's all true - but you don't think there are kids who are advanced at this age? And parents who make sure you know about it? Its easy to feel like you are failing somehow these days if your kid isn't reading 10 levels ahead.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My average child is going to do better in life than the gifted one. Better attitude, people like her, hard worker and her people skills are all around significantly better. She is also a born leader.

Our kids are older but by the time kids are in middle school a lot more parents are willing to concede that their kids are average, nice, decent kids but probably not the next Albert Einstein.

What are you trying to accomplish here? You know that all average children do not do better than gifted ones. You know that all average children are not likeable, hard working, with strong people skills. You know that not all gifted children are lazy with poor people skills. Why all the comparing? Just be happy feeling confident that you think your kid will be successful, without also putting down other (unknown) kids (who also may be successful). This is just another way to brag and it's silly.

Signed, mom of average kid.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. DCUM is the Internet version of Lake Wobegon, didn't you know?

[Anonymous]

I think my DS is very emotionally intelligent, but he's very average otherwise. I'm a little disappointed, but not shocked. I'm OK with that. I have a healthy good kid, and his intelligence is average. That's OK.

[Anonymous]

That's all true - but you don't think there are kids who are advanced at this age? And parents who make sure you know about it? Its easy to feel like you are failing somehow these days if your kid isn't reading 10 levels ahead.....

FWIW, DS was an average kid. He is doing far better now that he is grown and employed than many of those advanced kids whose parents were always telling me how advanced their kids were.