the woman who broke up my marriage bought a house near me- should I move?

[Anonymous]

OP, have you heard the saying "the best revenge is living a good life"

If you move, you are giving her all this power over your life. She is choosing where you live (or don't live) and having the power to continue to make you upset.

Try and take that power back. Remind yourself that since she is a cheater, her marriage will never be good. You can hold your head up high and find a partner and have an incredible marriage and know deep down she'll never have that. Remind yourself that you are a stronger and better person than she because you wouldn't stoop to staying in a marriage where there's cheating where she is. Remind yourself that she is probably lonely, sad, and missing something in life - even if she leaves her house every day with a big smile pasted on her face.

Hopefully, you will be able to remember these things and start healing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I am dealing with a situation (since last Fall) where my ex's old "fuck buddy" as I call her moved into my own development (as in few streets over)... this is someone who he had an affair on me with in 2013, and she was married at the time and still is to the same guy. Her husband is apparently a psycho with bad temper but either way when I told him about the affair (I always believe it's the right thing to do), he didn't believe me and 3 years later they decided to buy a house near me (god I hope that was a coincidence) So here I am wondering if I should rent out my house and move because this just has been bothering me so much. I haven't had that many run ins with her/them but the possibility is so strong. If my child wasn't in a private school, I probably would see that whore around the public school, since her kids are close in age. I am wondering what most people would do in my situation. I'm sure it's probably something you can't relate to but I don't know what to do. It's the looking over my shoulder and the possibility of seeing her that bothers me. On the other hand, I have been in my house for 10 years and part of me thinks that no whore should have the right to drive me out. Btw, this is someone who is a former stripper who finally snapped a gullible guy before she retired from stripping... this is relevant because when it comes to our professions (her lack of now), social status, intelligence, character, even looks, she is far inferior to me. But then again, being in such close proximity to her seems so wrong to me. By the way, my ex and I broke up shortly after I've found out about the affair. [b]I look forward to your feedback.

OK! You're as psycho as you make them seem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She said it's been years. That her anger is so strong today is the problem. Anyone who speaks with the venom that she has, has not dealt with her feelings. You shouldn't encourage her to be so vengeful. Doing so gives the power of control over her life to someone else, instead of the OP.

[b] My brother in law is a psychiatrist and says that people who defend adulterers in a way that tell the victims to just move on have narcissistic traits. How about we look at it objectively shall we? It's been years since the divorce but the skank who moved into the OP territory is not suppose to disrupt that recovery? Only someone devoid of real feelings or able to block them out would be capable of this situation not effecting them on any level. Some people are great at practicing denial, I agree. I have a good friend who always sticks her head in the sand when difficult situations come up. OP is panicking because this is triggering her mentally. She's struggling in finding a solution. To each is own.

Also, ever wonder why so many of us prefer escapism to alcohol, drugs; shopping addiction instead of dealing with our feelings? Because of how little support we get.

No one has defended the adulterer. You need to go back to school and learn reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She said it's been years. That her anger is so strong today is the problem. Anyone who speaks with the venom that she has, has not dealt with her feelings. You shouldn't encourage her to be so vengeful. Doing so gives the power of control over her life to someone else, instead of the OP.

[b] My brother in law is a psychiatrist and says that people who defend adulterers in a way that tell the victims to just move on have narcissistic traits. How about we look at it objectively shall we? It's been years since the divorce but the skank who moved into the OP territory is not suppose to disrupt that recovery? Only someone devoid of real feelings or able to block them out would be capable of this situation not effecting them on any level. Some people are great at practicing denial, I agree. I have a good friend who always sticks her head in the sand when difficult situations come up. OP is panicking because this is triggering her mentally. She's struggling in finding a solution. To each is own.

Also, ever wonder why so many of us prefer escapism to alcohol, drugs; shopping addiction instead of dealing with our feelings? Because of how little support we get.

No one has defended the adulterer. You need to go back to school and learn reading comprehension.

Exactly. Not one poster had defended the other woman. You've missed the entire point of the responses. The OP needs to move on. Her anger isn't accomplishing anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am dealing with a situation (since last Fall) where my ex's old "fuck buddy" as I call her moved into my own development (as in few streets over)... this is someone who he had an affair on me with in 2013, and she was married at the time and still is to the same guy. Her husband is apparently a psycho with bad temper but either way when I told him about the affair (I always believe it's the right thing to do), he didn't believe me and 3 years later they decided to buy a house near me (god I hope that was a coincidence) So here I am wondering if I should rent out my house and move because this just has been bothering me so much. I haven't had that many run ins with her/them but the possibility is so strong. If my child wasn't in a private school, I probably would see that whore around the public school, since her kids are close in age. I am wondering what most people would do in my situation. I'm sure it's probably something you can't relate to but I don't know what to do. It's the looking over my shoulder and the possibility of seeing her that bothers me. On the other hand, I have been in my house for 10 years and part of me thinks that no whore should have the right to drive me out. Btw, this is someone who is a former stripper who finally snapped a gullible guy before she retired from stripping... this is relevant because when it comes to our professions (her lack of now), social status, intelligence, character, even looks, she is far inferior to me. But then again, being in such close proximity to her seems so wrong to me. By the way, my ex and I broke up shortly after I've found out about the affair. I look forward to your feedback.

You need help. For real. You are entertaining the idea that this woman intentionally moved to be near you. Which is crazy. She's not trying to "drive you out."

It's actually NOT relevant that she is so "inferior" to you. That has absolutely nothing to do with anything. The only question is, do you feel comfortable with the idea that you are more likely to encounter her now that she lives closer to you? That possibility always existed, of course, since you have lived in the same city all along, but now it is more likely. You mention that you've had a couple of prior run-ins with them--what were those like? Were they so unpleasant that you would prefer to move than to experience them again?

[Anonymous]

No. He's your ex. Ignore her completely if you see her out. Or you could try sleeping with her husband and taking pics then giving the pics to her. If you do this then please update DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you heard the saying "the best revenge is living a good life"

If you move, you are giving her all this power over your life. She is choosing where you live (or don't live) and having the power to continue to make you upset.

Try and take that power back. Remind yourself that since she is a cheater, her marriage will never be good. You can hold your head up high and find a partner and have an incredible marriage and know deep down she'll never have that. Remind yourself that you are a stronger and better person than she because you wouldn't stoop to staying in a marriage where there's cheating where she is. Remind yourself that she is probably lonely, sad, and missing something in life - even if she leaves her house every day with a big smile pasted on her face.

Hopefully, you will be able to remember these things and start healing.

[b]THIS IS VERY GOOD ADVICE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am dealing with a situation (since last Fall) where my ex's old "fuck buddy" as I call her moved into my own development (as in few streets over)... this is someone who he had an affair on me with in 2013, and she was married at the time and still is to the same guy. Her husband is apparently a psycho with bad temper but either way when I told him about the affair (I always believe it's the right thing to do), he didn't believe me and 3 years later they decided to buy a house near me (god I hope that was a coincidence) So here I am wondering if I should rent out my house and move because this just has been bothering me so much. I haven't had that many run ins with her/them but the possibility is so strong. If my child wasn't in a private school, I probably would see that whore around the public school, since her kids are close in age. I am wondering what most people would do in my situation. I'm sure it's probably something you can't relate to but I don't know what to do. It's the looking over my shoulder and the possibility of seeing her that bothers me. On the other hand, I have been in my house for 10 years and part of me thinks that no whore should have the right to drive me out. Btw, this is someone who is a former stripper who finally snapped a gullible guy before she retired from stripping... this is relevant because when it comes to our professions (her lack of now), social status, intelligence, character, even looks, she is far inferior to me. But then again, being in such close proximity to her seems so wrong to me. By the way, my ex and I broke up shortly after I've found out about the affair. I look forward to your feedback.

You need help. For real. You are entertaining the idea that this woman intentionally moved to be near you. Which is crazy. She's not trying to "drive you out."

[b] Have you never heard this figure of speech? One can feel "emotionally driven out" by someone or circumstances. I apologize if you're autistic and don't understand this. I'm just trying to explain this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am dealing with a situation (since last Fall) where my ex's old "fuck buddy" as I call her moved into my own development (as in few streets over)... this is someone who he had an affair on me with in 2013, and she was married at the time and still is to the same guy. Her husband is apparently a psycho with bad temper but either way when I told him about the affair (I always believe it's the right thing to do), he didn't believe me and 3 years later they decided to buy a house near me (god I hope that was a coincidence) So here I am wondering if I should rent out my house and move because this just has been bothering me so much. I haven't had that many run ins with her/them but the possibility is so strong. If my child wasn't in a private school, I probably would see that whore around the public school, since her kids are close in age. I am wondering what most people would do in my situation. I'm sure it's probably something you can't relate to but I don't know what to do. It's the looking over my shoulder and the possibility of seeing her that bothers me. On the other hand, I have been in my house for 10 years and part of me thinks that no whore should have the right to drive me out. Btw, this is someone who is a former stripper who finally snapped a gullible guy before she retired from stripping... this is relevant because when it comes to our professions (her lack of now), social status, intelligence, character, even looks, she is far inferior to me. But then again, being in such close proximity to her seems so wrong to me. By the way, my ex and I broke up shortly after I've found out about the affair. I look forward to your feedback.

You need help. For real. You are entertaining the idea that this woman intentionally moved to be near you. Which is crazy. She's not trying to "drive you out."

[b] Have you never heard this figure of speech? One can feel "emotionally driven out" by someone or circumstances. I apologize if you're autistic and don't understand this. I'm just trying to explain this.

This is so offensive to use autism to insult someone. Both OP and you are horrible human beings.

[Anonymous]

OP, my ex had an affair with the next door neighbor, married lady. She really enjoyed the drama of ruining my marriage.

Eventually (after I divorced him) I rented out the house and moved. Once I wasn't there anymore for her to enjoy tormenting, they sold their house and moved away.

I moved then back into my house. It worked out great for me!

Time has made the hate and anger somewhat better. But yes, I will always have hate unfortunately for BOTH of them. You are allowed to, too. They are each responsible for their contributions to the situation. As I am responsible for mine, and you, yours.

I would get away from her if possible. It really improved my emotional well being. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

You sound crazy. No wonder he cheated, jfc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound crazy. No wonder he cheated, jfc.

+1. You can find out who someone really is when something bad happens to them. Op sounds like a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my ex had an affair with the next door neighbor, married lady. She really enjoyed the drama of ruining my marriage.

Eventually (after I divorced him) I rented out the house and moved. Once I wasn't there anymore for her to enjoy tormenting, they sold their house and moved away.

I moved then back into my house. It worked out great for me!

Time has made the hate and anger somewhat better. But yes, I will always have hate unfortunately for BOTH of them. You are allowed to, too. They are each responsible for their contributions to the situation. As I am responsible for mine, and you, yours.

I would get away from her if possible. It really improved my emotional well being. Good luck.

[b]Fantastic strategy!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't want to live in the house where I had any memories of the affair. My XH's affair and his abuse of me was primarily emotional, but living in that home for 6 additional years was bad for me. Even redecorating after divvying up marital property didn't help. I moved within the same neighborhood and am so much happier.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you should move. She is not right next door. Just forget about her and be happy.

It is not worth your time to think about her or expend the effort and expense to move.