What do people mean when they say, 'He's all boy'?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like to recommend to you all the documentary film "The Mask You Live In," which I think I saw streaming on Netflix. It's a really fascinating and insightful look at what it means to grow up to be a man in the U.S.

http://therepresentationproject.org/film/the-mask-you-live-in/

This film looks very interesting. Thanks for linking it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just...what?

Talking to a neighbor today, he said his son is "all boy" several times. Like, oh he likes to kick that ball...he's all boy! He likes to play in that toy car...he's all boy! He likes to find sticks...HESALLBOY!!!!

The oddest part is, my DD was right there, doing all these things, too. The kids were playing together, doing pretty much the exact same things.

So what do people mean when they say that? Do you fear that a princess costume will overtake your son in a dark ally if you don't utter that phrase every time Little Jimmy plays with Hotwheels?

They are trying to express their pride and relief that he's behaving in a stereotypical masculine manner, which suggests he won't grow up to be a gay.

This. Trucks, sports, etc., suggest to nervous moms that their son won't be gay. And that makes them happy.

I don't feel that way at all. In fact, I've often wondered if one of my "all boy" sons is gay. It would not bother me at all if he is. For me, I was surprised that boys behave from a very young age in stereotypical "all boy" ways without being taught or coerced into doing it. I always thought gender was a social construction. Wrong. I've learned a lot about people by becoming a parent. If I had a daughter, I would totally support any pink or princess item she wanted to focus on -- unlike my feminist parents, who convinced me that anything to do with being a girl was ipso facto inferior to all things boy....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would like to recommend to you all the documentary film "The Mask You Live In," which I think I saw streaming on Netflix. It's a really fascinating and insightful look at what it means to grow up to be a man in the U.S.

http://therepresentationproject.org/film/the-mask-you-live-in/

This film looks very interesting. Thanks for linking it.

It looks like the film comes from a good place of sincerity . It is preaching humanism and discounting evil which I have no faith in. I'm aware many don't agree with me but I am sure .. Absolutely positive that the pursuits of humanity without Christ will ultimately end in miserable failure. I can just feel the emptiness and weakness in the psychiatric strategies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just...what?

Talking to a neighbor today, he said his son is "all boy" several times. Like, oh he likes to kick that ball...he's all boy! He likes to play in that toy car...he's all boy! He likes to find sticks...HESALLBOY!!!!

The oddest part is, my DD was right there, doing all these things, too. The kids were playing together, doing pretty much the exact same things.

So what do people mean when they say that? Do you fear that a princess costume will overtake your son in a dark ally if you don't utter that phrase every time Little Jimmy plays with Hotwheels?

They are trying to express their pride and relief that he's behaving in a stereotypical masculine manner, which suggests he won't grow up to be a gay.

This. Trucks, sports, etc., suggest to nervous moms that their son won't be gay. And that makes them happy.

I don't feel that way at all. In fact, I've often wondered if one of my "all boy" sons is gay. It would not bother me at all if he is. For me, I was surprised that boys behave from a very young age in stereotypical "all boy" ways without being taught or coerced into doing it. I always thought gender was a social construction. Wrong. I've learned a lot about people by becoming a parent. If I had a daughter, I would totally support any pink or princess item she wanted to focus on -- unlike my feminist parents, who convinced me that anything to do with being a girl was ipso facto inferior to all things boy....

I see what your saying but like OP I've had the experience where my daughter has been playing with a friend who is a boy doing the exact same things and the mom will remark that her son is all boy. It doesn't offend me at all, clearly just a mom taking joy in a child's personality. But I don't see those aspects of my daughter's personality as being "boyish" --more like curious, adventurous, etc.

[Anonymous]

With sensitivity comes pain. People hate pain more than anything. If you don't have pain , you aren't sensitive or aware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With sensitivity comes pain. People hate pain more than anything. If you don't have pain , you aren't sensitive or aware.

I really like this post. I don't see how it fits in with the thread, but I really like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just...what?

Talking to a neighbor today, he said his son is "all boy" several times. Like, oh he likes to kick that ball...he's all boy! He likes to play in that toy car...he's all boy! He likes to find sticks...HESALLBOY!!!!

The oddest part is, my DD was right there, doing all these things, too. The kids were playing together, doing pretty much the exact same things.

So what do people mean when they say that? Do you fear that a princess costume will overtake your son in a dark ally if you don't utter that phrase every time Little Jimmy plays with Hotwheels?

They are trying to express their pride and relief that he's behaving in a stereotypical masculine manner, which suggests he won't grow up to be a gay.

This. Trucks, sports, etc., suggest to nervous moms that their son won't be gay. And that makes them happy.

I don't feel that way at all. In fact, I've often wondered if one of my "all boy" sons is gay. It would not bother me at all if he is. For me, I was surprised that boys behave from a very young age in stereotypical "all boy" ways without being taught or coerced into doing it. I always thought gender was a social construction. Wrong. I've learned a lot about people by becoming a parent. If I had a daughter, I would totally support any pink or princess item she wanted to focus on -- unlike my feminist parents, who convinced me that anything to do with being a girl was ipso facto inferior to all things boy....

I see what your saying but like OP I've had the experience where my daughter has been playing with a friend who is a boy doing the exact same things and the mom will remark that her son is all boy. It doesn't offend me at all, clearly just a mom taking joy in a child's personality. But I don't see those aspects of my daughter's personality as being "boyish" --more like curious, adventurous, etc.

Probably because the boy plays that way ALL. DAY. LONG. Not just at that moment, while you two are watching.

[Anonymous]

People with one boy and one girl also really tend to harp on gender differences as the explanation for every personality difference. I have two girls who are one year apart and are 180 degrees away from one one another personality wise, so listening to this crew is annoying too. I feel like I'm talking to my MIL who spends most of her time telling me what "men" like. She has been divorced twice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With sensitivity comes pain. People hate pain more than anything. If you don't have pain , you aren't sensitive or aware.

I really like this post. I don't see how it fits in with the thread, but I really like it.

Being all boy means burying sensitivity and avoiding almost permanent pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With sensitivity comes pain. People hate pain more than anything. If you don't have pain , you aren't sensitive or aware.

I really like this post. I don't see how it fits in with the thread, but I really like it.

Being all boy means burying sensitivity and avoiding almost permanent pain.

But that's where you're wrong!!! Boys don't bury their pain -- they don't care about the same things. They don't feel pain over things girls do (or I guess I should say, me or me as a girl growing up felt). They just don't. That's why we have guns. That's why we have violent video games. That's also why we have competitive sports like boxing and wrestling. THEY LIKE IT. They like fighting. I like living in peace with my fellow humans. It bothers me to fight. Doesn't bother them at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just...what?

Talking to a neighbor today, he said his son is "all boy" several times. Like, oh he likes to kick that ball...he's all boy! He likes to play in that toy car...he's all boy! He likes to find sticks...HESALLBOY!!!!

The oddest part is, my DD was right there, doing all these things, too. The kids were playing together, doing pretty much the exact same things.

So what do people mean when they say that? Do you fear that a princess costume will overtake your son in a dark ally if you don't utter that phrase every time Little Jimmy plays with Hotwheels?

They are trying to express their pride and relief that he's behaving in a stereotypical masculine manner, which suggests he won't grow up to be a gay.

This. Trucks, sports, etc., suggest to nervous moms that their son won't be gay. And that makes them happy.

I don't feel that way at all. In fact, I've often wondered if one of my "all boy" sons is gay. It would not bother me at all if he is. For me, I was surprised that boys behave from a very young age in stereotypical "all boy" ways without being taught or coerced into doing it. I always thought gender was a social construction. Wrong. I've learned a lot about people by becoming a parent. If I had a daughter, I would totally support any pink or princess item she wanted to focus on -- unlike my feminist parents, who convinced me that anything to do with being a girl was ipso facto inferior to all things boy....

I see what your saying but like OP I've had the experience where my daughter has been playing with a friend who is a boy doing the exact same things and the mom will remark that her son is all boy. It doesn't offend me at all, clearly just a mom taking joy in a child's personality. But I don't see those aspects of my daughter's personality as being "boyish" --more like curious, adventurous, etc.

Probably because the boy plays that way ALL. DAY. LONG. Not just at that moment, while you two are watching.

So does my girl. And my boy is a daisy picker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can you not know what this means???

There's five pages of dialogues with various reasons presented, even by parents of boys who use the phrase. So looks like there's no one answer.

How do YOU not get that"???"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It means - he exibits sterotypical behavior to an extreme. It's not flattering. It's the parent (or other person) saying, " yeah, yeah I know how he behaves. I am aware of it. I'm embarrassed. You don't need to point out his behavior to me."

I am pretty stridently feminist and went to a women's college so I'm hardly raising my two boys to be stereotypical boys/men, but I have said this about my younger son. My older son never did a ton of the typical gross-out or violent boy stuff but my younger one...yeah, it is fart noises and making guns out of everything and yelling ALL DAY LONG. If I say "he's all boy" it's definitely intended as an excuse, like "these are the "boy" genes expressing themselves...no idea where this is coming from....." or as a comparison to my older son, who never really did that stuff. DS #2 has girl friends and takes dance and still plays dress up so I'm not worried that he's boxing himself in. He even won a talent show last year by performing a combination from dance class while providing simultaneous musical accompaniment via armpit farts. That, to me, is being "all boy" -- two years of classical training couldn't suppress his innate desire to be gross even while executing his routine with precision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just...what?

Talking to a neighbor today, he said his son is "all boy" several times. Like, oh he likes to kick that ball...he's all boy! He likes to play in that toy car...he's all boy! He likes to find sticks...HESALLBOY!!!!

The oddest part is, my DD was right there, doing all these things, too. The kids were playing together, doing pretty much the exact same things.

So what do people mean when they say that? Do you fear that a princess costume will overtake your son in a dark ally if you don't utter that phrase every time Little Jimmy plays with Hotwheels?

They are trying to express their pride and relief that he's behaving in a stereotypical masculine manner, which suggests he won't grow up to be a gay.

This. Trucks, sports, etc., suggest to nervous moms that their son won't be gay. And that makes them happy.

I don't feel that way at all. In fact, I've often wondered if one of my "all boy" sons is gay. It would not bother me at all if he is. For me, I was surprised that boys behave from a very young age in stereotypical "all boy" ways without being taught or coerced into doing it. I always thought gender was a social construction. Wrong. I've learned a lot about people by becoming a parent. If I had a daughter, I would totally support any pink or princess item she wanted to focus on -- unlike my feminist parents, who convinced me that anything to do with being a girl was ipso facto inferior to all things boy....

I see what your saying but like OP I've had the experience where my daughter has been playing with a friend who is a boy doing the exact same things and the mom will remark that her son is all boy. It doesn't offend me at all, clearly just a mom taking joy in a child's personality. But I don't see those aspects of my daughter's personality as being "boyish" --more like curious, adventurous, etc.

Probably because the boy plays that way ALL. DAY. LONG. Not just at that moment, while you two are watching.

Really? "All day long?" No books? No coloring? No cuddling before bed? No petting a dog or a cat? No cuddling during a TV show? Just all shouting and cars and tackling, all day long? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With sensitivity comes pain. People hate pain more than anything. If you don't have pain , you aren't sensitive or aware.

I really like this post. I don't see how it fits in with the thread, but I really like it.

Being all boy means burying sensitivity and avoiding almost permanent pain.

But that's where you're wrong!!! Boys don't bury their pain -- they don't care about the same things. They don't feel pain over things girls do (or I guess I should say, me or me as a girl growing up felt). They just don't. That's why we have guns. That's why we have violent video games. That's also why we have competitive sports like boxing and wrestling. THEY LIKE IT. They like fighting. I like living in peace with my fellow humans. It bothers me to fight. Doesn't bother them at all.

Explain this:
http://youtu.be/JFZE4Wd7brY