Single mom and Father's Day at school

[Anonymous]

You sound like an angry person. And maybe you have reason to be. But if you need a bubble for your kids, you need to homeschool.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the poster who says let's make it more general or do away with these holidays and we are a 2 parent family. I also don't get worked up over grandparents day and all of my kids' grandparents are deceased. I get the flyer, but my child has never mentioned it as a big deal. I notice all the moms don't come to the mom thing either. Such is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an angry person. And maybe you have reason to be. But if you need a bubble for your kids, you need to homeschool.

Actually the person living in the bubble is the person who believes there is only one kind of family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an angry person. And maybe you have reason to be. But if you need a bubble for your kids, you need to homeschool.

Actually the person living in the bubble is the person who believes there is only one kind of family

Nobody is saying that! But OP wants to go scorched earth and thinks all holidays should be banned from school because she had a kid with a piece of shit. Doesn't work like that. It sucks her DD has a crappy dad but instead of being mad the "stupid schools" help kids celebrate good dads, she should be channeling that energy into something else her DD can do that day. It's not going to be a weeklong thing, OP. Maybe one craft, which she can make for you, and an optional breakfast thing like donuts with dad that she can easily skip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster who says let's make it more general or do away with these holidays and we are a 2 parent family. I also don't get worked up over grandparents day and all of my kids' grandparents are deceased. I get the flyer, but my child has never mentioned it as a big deal. I notice all the moms don't come to the mom thing either. Such is life.

Deceased does not equal 'chose to not be an active part of child's life'. Apples and oranges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an angry person. And maybe you have reason to be. But if you need a bubble for your kids, you need to homeschool.

Actually the person living in the bubble is the person who believes there is only one kind of family

Nobody is saying that! But OP wants to go scorched earth and thinks all holidays should be banned from school because she had a kid with a piece of shit. Doesn't work like that. It sucks her DD has a crappy dad but instead of being mad the "stupid schools" help kids celebrate good dads, she should be channeling that energy into something else her DD can do that day. It's not going to be a weeklong thing, OP. Maybe one craft, which she can make for you, and an optional breakfast thing like donuts with dad that she can easily skip.

Um actually OP never said that. She asked what to do. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster who says let's make it more general or do away with these holidays and we are a 2 parent family. I also don't get worked up over grandparents day and all of my kids' grandparents are deceased. I get the flyer, but my child has never mentioned it as a big deal. I notice all the moms don't come to the mom thing either. Such is life.

Deceased does not equal 'chose to not be an active part of child's life'. Apples and oranges.

Alright, well, truth be told, we do have an uninvolved grandparent on the other side of the country. Again, this has not been a big deal in our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stupid school insists on celebrating Father's Day. Dd has heard from dad in over a year.
She's 5. What do I say? Do?
The school activity is set.

Tough. Mother's Day is also celebrated and there are children without mothers. It doesn't matter. Other children have a right to celebrate and honor their mother and father even if there are other kids without a mother or father.

Thanks for this. Thanks to the complaining lesbian moms at our preschool nobody gets to celebrate either anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an angry person. And maybe you have reason to be. But if you need a bubble for your kids, you need to homeschool.

Actually the person living in the bubble is the person who believes there is only one kind of family

Nobody is saying that! But OP wants to go scorched earth and thinks all holidays should be banned from school because she had a kid with a piece of shit. Doesn't work like that. It sucks her DD has a crappy dad but instead of being mad the "stupid schools" help kids celebrate good dads, she should be channeling that energy into something else her DD can do that day. It's not going to be a weeklong thing, OP. Maybe one craft, which she can make for you, and an optional breakfast thing like donuts with dad that she can easily skip.

Um actually OP never said that. She asked what to do. That's all.

Read page 3. She wants all holidays including mothers and Father's Day ignored by the schools.

[Anonymous]

God I just HATE these kinds of things!!! I am a former teacher and also a mom of a preschooler, in a very solid 2 parent family w/loving grandparents on both sides. I say, get rid of mother's day, father's day, grandparent's day. I have seen this from so many angles, so many times, and I feel really passionately about it as a result.

There are times and places to celebrate these holidays and THEY DO NOT NEED TO HAPPEN IN THE CLASSROOM. Do you think your 3 year old really cares whether he makes a mother's day card or not? If so, do you think the positive it might bring to his life is going to outweigh the negative it could bring to the little boy who just lost his mom? or the little girl whose mom is on a business trip and just cannot be there?

Now, I'm not saying that all schools for all ages need to get rid of all parent/child events. If a high school wants to have a father son golf tournament, ok. Even then I don't love it, but I can deal with that. A high school kid is old enough to start understanding about the real world and facing these issues. But a 3 year old? NO! It's just so wrong. This invariably creates huge problems for families where parents work, are divorced, are absentee in some way, who live far away, are deceased.. it's just a pain in the ass for everyone. And frankly, I don't care how nice the mother's day celebration was for me personally, I would rather give up ten of those than have one 3 year old sad because he was the only one there without a mom.

How can people be so selfish? Gah!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God I just HATE these kinds of things!!! I am a former teacher and also a mom of a preschooler, in a very solid 2 parent family w/loving grandparents on both sides. I say, get rid of mother's day, father's day, grandparent's day. I have seen this from so many angles, so many times, and I feel really passionately about it as a result.

There are times and places to celebrate these holidays and THEY DO NOT NEED TO HAPPEN IN THE CLASSROOM. Do you think your 3 year old really cares whether he makes a mother's day card or not? If so, do you think the positive it might bring to his life is going to outweigh the negative it could bring to the little boy who just lost his mom? or the little girl whose mom is on a business trip and just cannot be there?

Now, I'm not saying that all schools for all ages need to get rid of all parent/child events. If a high school wants to have a father son golf tournament, ok. Even then I don't love it, but I can deal with that. A high school kid is old enough to start understanding about the real world and facing these issues. But a 3 year old? NO! It's just so wrong. This invariably creates huge problems for families where parents work, are divorced, are absentee in some way, who live far away, are deceased.. it's just a pain in the ass for everyone. And frankly, I don't care how nice the mother's day celebration was for me personally, I would rather give up ten of those than have one 3 year old sad because he was the only one there without a mom.

How can people be so selfish? Gah!

Yeah I went to my DD's kindergarten mom's event, there was a girl there crying because her mother couldn't come. I know as they get older they understand that better but I felt sad for this little K girl. I know, I know life is full of disappointments. But it made me sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God I just HATE these kinds of things!!! I am a former teacher and also a mom of a preschooler, in a very solid 2 parent family w/loving grandparents on both sides. I say, get rid of mother's day, father's day, grandparent's day. I have seen this from so many angles, so many times, and I feel really passionately about it as a result.

There are times and places to celebrate these holidays and THEY DO NOT NEED TO HAPPEN IN THE CLASSROOM. Do you think your 3 year old really cares whether he makes a mother's day card or not? If so, do you think the positive it might bring to his life is going to outweigh the negative it could bring to the little boy who just lost his mom? or the little girl whose mom is on a business trip and just cannot be there?

Now, I'm not saying that all schools for all ages need to get rid of all parent/child events. If a high school wants to have a father son golf tournament, ok. Even then I don't love it, but I can deal with that. A high school kid is old enough to start understanding about the real world and facing these issues. But a 3 year old? NO! It's just so wrong. This invariably creates huge problems for families where parents work, are divorced, are absentee in some way, who live far away, are deceased.. it's just a pain in the ass for everyone. And frankly, I don't care how nice the mother's day celebration was for me personally, I would rather give up ten of those than have one 3 year old sad because he was the only one there without a mom.

How can people be so selfish? Gah!

Yeah I went to my DD's kindergarten mom's event, there was a girl there crying because her mother couldn't come. I know as they get older they understand that better but I felt sad for this little K girl. I know, I know life is full of disappointments. But it made me sad.

And I'm sure she'll be wrecked for life as a result. Look, this is life. It's not equal. It's not always the same for everybody. Sometimes it sucks. It can hurt. Better to experience life sucking/hurting early and often, ideally in a supportive learning environment (like, oh, a school) so you can develop some coping skills and learn how to deal. All this "we can't do anything that could offend or hurt feelings in any way" nonsense serves no one, and is completely unattainable anyway.

Learning how to deal with disappointment and sadness is an important part of being alive, even, and perhaps especially, when you're young.

[Anonymous]

How about having your child participate in the activity, but instead of making it specifically a Father's Day gift/project/card, make it a Thank you card for a soldier and sending it to Operation Gratitude which provides cards/letters/care packages for soldiers stationed abroad:

http://www.operationgratitude.com/?gclid=CPK59-zwls0CFRY8gQodOr4JIw


This can also work for children without a mother on Mother's day as there are plenty of soldiers who would appreciate care packages/gifts/letters from someone Stateside.

[Anonymous]

Great idea PP. kids need to be taught how to deal with what they have. If it sucks, make something positive come from it. My dad was never around and it sucked but I dealt with it. Someone always has it much worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster who says let's make it more general or do away with these holidays and we are a 2 parent family. I also don't get worked up over grandparents day and all of my kids' grandparents are deceased. I get the flyer, but my child has never mentioned it as a big deal. I notice all the moms don't come to the mom thing either. Such is life.

Deceased does not equal 'chose to not be an active part of child's life'. Apples and oranges.

Alright, well, truth be told, we do have an uninvolved grandparent on the other side of the country. Again, this has not been a big deal in our family.

Surely you cannot be that dense that you still see and uninvolved grandparent as the same as an absentee father. Or to are, and you're the kind of person that makes everything all about you.

Person A: I have a brain tumor, I'm not expected to live more than 12 months.
You: I had a headache once. It wasn't that bad, I just took tylenol and went about my business.