Do we need to mail wedding gifts to 1st cousins? (Not attending)

[Anonymous]

I was just in the same situation with my boyfriend's cousin. We've been together 2 years and I've still never met them, however he chats with them on FB and was closer to his cousin growing up. So we didn't attend the wedding, but sent a card with $50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't dislike them - I barely know them. Some came to our wedding as kids (not my idea - they were on MIL's list) - they didn't give a gift, their parents did. So they would essentially be collecting double gifts - from my inlaws and us, even though they/their parents only gave us 1 gift. That seems like an unfair financial burden to us when they themselves never had to spend a penny. And there are a lot of them - it adds up.
^^
But they have to "double invite" people -- it's not just your in-laws and DH, it's you, too (and potentially your kids). An invite = send a gift, even a $50 gift card to Crate and Barrel. And you shouldn't have to dig up an address. Just take 2 minutes to find the registry online, scroll to the bottom and click on gift card. The registry will have all the address information pre-populate.

OP, are you an only child of only children? Or from very small families that don't really maintain relationships with one another?

That is the only thing which makes your posts make sense. You just don't seem to understand how family manners work so you must not be very experienced with dealing with families.

Seriously. If dcum, one of the most anti family togetherness places out there is telling you to just send a gift, why on earth do you keep arguing and looking for affirmation not to?

I come from a very large family and we do get together outside of weddings and funerals. Invitations are seen as a way to keep the extended family up to date. There is no expectation of a gift if you do not attend.