Hostility to Name Change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed my name when I got married frankly because I like my husbands last name much better than my maiden name and think it sounds much better w my first name. Also, I like my husband much better than my dad or my dads family too.

Me too! Somewhat estranged from my parents and maiden was frequently mispronounced and misspelled. If DH had a horrible last name, I would have kept maiden name.

DH's last name is Jones. MIL is Mrs. Jones, not me! In addition DH and I have the same first names as MIL and FIL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I'm not a brat and would never say anything. I would outwardly even appear happy and congratulatory about your name change, as is expected in polite society but yes I'd think less of you.

Why is this attitude considered feminist? Judging and tearing down other women without knowing them or their reasons for making this choice (even if it is behind their backs or kept to yourself)? Do you really think that is what feminism is about? As a woman in 2016 I get to choose for myself, weigh the pros and cons of this decision. You are not a feminist, you are a judgey, nasty person who thinks you are better than people based on silly name change choice.

Where did PP say this was a feminist attitude?

[Anonymous]

I hate it when women change their names, and I think it's ridiculous if you have a professional job. However, I do not share my opinion because it is a personal choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your general field of work? I'm curious, because our dd is now 10, and out of all he moms I've met over the years, easily hundreds, I can only think of three that kept their maiden names.

Once you have kids, it is really so much easier for everyone to have the same last name.

Really? Where do you live? I live in DC with the same age child, and the majority of the moms that I have met kept their names.

[Anonymous]

Whatever. I got flak from random people when I didn't change my name upon marriage. Someone's always gonna judge you, and the only thing you can do about it is tune out the people's whose opinions you don't care about anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your general field of work? I'm curious, because our dd is now 10, and out of all he moms I've met over the years, easily hundreds, I can only think of three that kept their maiden names.

Once you have kids, it is really so much easier for everyone to have the same last name.

Really? Where do you live? I live in DC with the same age child, and the majority of the moms that I have met kept their names.

Yeah, I don't buy that argument. At least half the women I know kept their names, and it appears to cause absolutely no issues beyond me sometimes getting called Ms. Kidslastname. Which, whatever. It has caused exactly one administrative hassle in my life--the insurance company wouldn't let me add my daughter to my health insurance automatically because she had a different last name. I had to send in a letter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your general field of work? I'm curious, because our dd is now 10, and out of all he moms I've met over the years, easily hundreds, I can only think of three that kept their maiden names.

Once you have kids, it is really so much easier for everyone to have the same last name.

IDGAF if you change your name or not, but that reason is complete bunk. We have three last names in our house -- mine, DH/DD's, and our niece's who we're raising -- and there has never been a single complication of any kind anywhere. Not at school, not at the airport, not at the doctor's office. It just does not happen.

Well good for you. I grew up in a house where my last name was different (due to divorce) and felt like I was constantly explaining it for years and this was actually the main reason I WANTED to change my name. So like many things, your anecdotal experience is not representative of everyone in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Really?! You are surprised? Everything is controversial these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really?! You are surprised? Everything is controversial these days.

Amen to that!
I am sure it is just a micro-aggression. No need to get upset until it becomes a macro-aggression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your general field of work? I'm curious, because our dd is now 10, and out of all he moms I've met over the years, easily hundreds, I can only think of three that kept their maiden names.

Once you have kids, it is really so much easier for everyone to have the same last name.

Really? Where do you live? I live in DC with the same age child, and the majority of the moms that I have met kept their names.

Same here. From NY, now in DC, and every single woman I know - including SAHMs - kept their names. It's an identity thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your general field of work? I'm curious, because our dd is now 10, and out of all he moms I've met over the years, easily hundreds, I can only think of three that kept their maiden names.

Once you have kids, it is really so much easier for everyone to have the same last name.

Really? Where do you live? I live in DC with the same age child, and the majority of the moms that I have met kept their names.

Same here. From NY, now in DC, and every single woman I know - including SAHMs - kept their names. It's an identity thing.

Why would a single woman change her name?

[Anonymous]

I always feel a little disappointed when women decide to change their names, and unlike other posters I actually don't know a lot of women who kept their maiden names. I understand why they do it and truly am not judging them as individuals, but it's one of those things we all do because it's the path of least resistance (culturally, I know it's actually a lot of paperwork to get through). Engagements and weddings - like life - are just full of these antiquated, sexist little rituals, and it can be tiring to fight them all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always feel a little disappointed when women decide to change their names, and unlike other posters I actually don't know a lot of women who kept their maiden names. I understand why they do it and truly am not judging them as individuals, but it's one of those things we all do because it's the path of least resistance (culturally, I know it's actually a lot of paperwork to get through). Engagements and weddings - like life - are just full of these antiquated, sexist little rituals, and it can be tiring to fight them all.

Actually I've always thought that the "path of least resistance" is not changing the name, since there's no paperwork to file or name to change. I get you, I kinda feel the same way, but not that strongly. I didn't change my name, and it's been fine so far, I get called Mrs. Hisname at my kids' pediatrician appointments, and I've gotten used to it. (But it feels so old-fashioned!)

I don't know why it doesn't bother me at all that my kids don't have my last name. Just not a concern, really. My husband's name suits them just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always feel a little disappointed when women decide to change their names, and unlike other posters I actually don't know a lot of women who kept their maiden names. I understand why they do it and truly am not judging them as individuals, but it's one of those things we all do because it's the path of least resistance (culturally, I know it's actually a lot of paperwork to get through). Engagements and weddings - like life - are just full of these antiquated, sexist little rituals, and it can be tiring to fight them all.

Did you take on your maternal family name or your paternal family name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They sound bizarre. Everyone changes to their husbands last name. Ignore them.

No, they don't. Most of my coworkers didn't change their names.

OP, were they kidding or teasing you?