Hostility to Name Change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'd never say anything but secretly I think less of women who change their names.


And you are part of the problem. Why does it matter to you?

It matters to me bc only women are expected to change their names. If it were truly a choice men would change their name too. It's a horrible outdated expectation that I am against.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd never say anything but secretly I think less of women who change their names.


And you are part of the problem. Why does it matter to you?

It matters to me bc only women are expected to change their names. If it were truly a choice men would change their name too. It's a horrible outdated expectation that I am against.

So don't do it. But stop being a brat to women who CHOOSE to do it.

[Anonymous]

What? When I got married, all my coworkers immediately asked me what my last name was. I'm a little more conservative though, so I'm sure they just assumed.

Absolutely nothing got changed at work though. It took years to get a new badge that matched my drivers license and I have two emails that are combined (both last names). Frustrating. IT basically acted like I was the first person ever in their federal agency to change their last name.

[Anonymous]

Friend of mine married at 54 for the first time and changed her name. I was surprised -- she'd lived for more than half a century with the same, lovely name and now she had to change everything to a new, not nearly as lovely, name.

But it made her happy, so what the hell business is it of mine?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I'm not a brat and would never say anything. I would outwardly even appear happy and congratulatory about your name change, as is expected in polite society but yes I'd think less of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I'm not a brat and would never say anything. I would outwardly even appear happy and congratulatory about your name change, as is expected in polite society but yes I'd think less of you.[/quote

How big of you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd never say anything but secretly I think less of women who change their names.


And you are part of the problem. Why does it matter to you?

It matters to me bc only women are expected to change their names. If it were truly a choice men would change their name too. It's a horrible outdated expectation that I am against.

You are overstating this as a problem.

And, FYI, men do change their names. Google is your friend. And I offered. DW though that was cool, but didn't want me to.

Take your ill-informed self-righteous indignation elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd never say anything but secretly I think less of women who change their names.

And you are part of the problem. Why does it matter to you?

Because their actions affect all of us. When some women continue to bow to sexist traditions, other women are expected to follow suit.

[Anonymous]

I changed my name when I got married frankly because I like my husbands last name much better than my maiden name and think it sounds much better w my first name. Also, I like my husband much better than my dad or my dads family too.

[Anonymous]

Strange; I didn't receive any hostility when I changed my last name but sometimes people asked why. It's a mixed bag at work; some women changed, others didn't. If someone asked me about it - I say I think it's easier to have one family name b/c of future kids and I'd prefer to have DH's last name for the family name. My maiden name is also a female first name and I hate people getting it mixed up. Although - with my married last name, now everyone spells it wrong. Nothing is ever easy. While rare, I do know one guy who took his wife's last name b/c they preferred that one to be the family name. Isn't choice a wonderful thing.

[Anonymous]

"Hey guys, it was my decision to change my name. It really bothers me when you keep bringing it up. Even if you're joking, I don't like it. Can we please stop talking about it?"

For the record, I also changed my name, but at that point I felt very connected to my husband's family, and not so connected to my own. In terms of "who I am," I feel much more like a DHfamilyname than a Myfamilyname. That said, we have three daughters and I will definitely encourage them to consider keeping their names if/when they get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd never say anything but secretly I think less of women who change their names.

And you are part of the problem. Why does it matter to you?

Because their actions affect all of us. When some women continue to bow to sexist traditions, other women are expected to follow suit.

wtf? So either I'm named after my DAD or my HUSBAND? How is either less sexist? I personally loved taking DH's name. It's a worse name than my maiden name, but it means a lot that we're the same last name and will have children share our name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd never say anything but secretly I think less of women who change their names.


And you are part of the problem. Why does it matter to you?

It matters to me bc only women are expected to change their names. If it were truly a choice men would change their name too. It's a horrible outdated expectation that I am against.

You are overstating this as a problem.

And, FYI, men do change their names. Google is your friend. And I offered. DW though that was cool, but didn't want me to.

Take your ill-informed self-righteous indignation elsewhere.

Very few men change their name and it isn't expected of them

[Anonymous]

My husband and I just hyphenate both our names now.

My name was Ann jones, he was John Doe. He is now john jones-doe and I'm Ann jones-doe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd never say anything but secretly I think less of women who change their names.

And you are part of the problem. Why does it matter to you?

Because their actions affect all of us. When some women continue to bow to sexist traditions, other women are expected to follow suit.

wtf? So either I'm named after my DAD or my HUSBAND? How is either less sexist? I personally loved taking DH's name. It's a worse name than my maiden name, but it means a lot that we're the same last name and will have children share our name.

Because your birth name is the name you've had your whole life and started your career with. It is abandoning your entire identity for that of "wife."